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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Four year old and shabbos



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momssr




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 05 2011, 5:02 pm
hi everyone


I am writing because I am having a little issue with my almost 4 year old and am not quite sure how to deal with it. She is my oldest so I have no previous experience with this type of issue. Basically on shabat she will color and when I tell her she isnt allowed shell just ignore be completely and continue. I dont know how to respond to this. Do I force her to stop and take her pens away? Do I ignore it? I dont want to turn her off from shabat either but I dont want her coloring on shabat. I thought of hiding her crayons before shabat, but then again she can find a pen somewhere else if she really wants to. Any advice anyone? thanks!
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cc




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 05 2011, 5:20 pm
Definatly hide everything you dont want her touching before shabbos. It just lessons the temptation. If she finds a pen then say no coloring, and try to distract her but dont make a big deal about it. She's only 4 and when she gets a older she'll learn in school and feel how on shabbos we dont touch those things. Good luck.
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Liba




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 05 2011, 5:22 pm
I agree... make sure to put away the mukza things and have plenty of fun Shabbos friendly games and activities waiting.
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oranges




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 05 2011, 6:28 pm
Make sure you hide everything before shabbos. Can't be too difficult to make sure all pens/crayons are high up or hidden.
If it would help you can let her help you put everything away, have a muktza box and go around the house together putting stuff into it. then put it on a veeery high shelf.
Then make a big deal of taking down a shabbos box which should have special shabbos items in for her. books, games, dolls,whatever your daughter is into. keep this aside especially for shabbos.
So bye bye muktza box, hello shabbos box.
I would even put some nash in the shabbos box during the week, make sure she sees you doing it, so she gets really excited for that shabbos box to come down and won't be too sad to say goodbye to her colouring stuff.

you want to make shabbos as positive as possible, this way really works for me.

I don't know your child, and only you can judge, but if this was my child I would either punish her or take away a special shabbos treat. Eg on shabbos I give shabbos party. If I see a child using muktza after I have warned him not to I will say, ok, you aren't being nice to shabbos kodesh, so shabbos kodesh won't be so nice to you. And then I will remove something from his party, or if that has already been I will think of something else to take away.

I really don't believe that stopping her colouring on shabbos will turn her away from shabbos, as you wrote. specially when you make a big deal of all the special things that shabbos does come along with.
And I would NOT wait till a child is old enough to learn it in school, these things come from home. Yes she may learn in school not to touch muktza so that will make her more interested, but it also might not make any difference and she will happily continue because she can sense your hesitation in being firm in this matter.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 05 2011, 6:34 pm
I would and do tell my almost 3 year old daughter when she does something on shabbat that is not allowed that we are not allowed to do that on shabbat or if she wants me to turn on the light or wonders where the laptop that usually sits on the dinning room table is. I tell her that there are some things that we just dont do on shabbat. If you start to explain this to your child now, hopefully it will make some sort of impact.

I love the idea of a shabbat box. Thats great.
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EMmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 05 2011, 8:52 pm
Something my teacher (who is extremely frum) in seminary told me which I never forgot. It is more important to have your children love shabbos and then worry about what they are doing. She is still really young and to make her upset is not the way to go. How about try to give her a special shabbos party or snack if she stops colorings? Don't worry about it she is only four!
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 06 2011, 12:38 am
I put away all muktzeh toys before Shabbos and when my twins (4 years old) ask for something muktzeh on Shabbos I say no.... we don't (color, play computer games, listen to music, etc etc) on Shabbos, but here's what we CAN do.... and I list stuff they love--- tickling, cuddling, reading books.

Sometimes it gets really annoying. Can I have a cookie? no hon, you JUST had dessert after lunch. Can I color? No honey, it's Shabbos. Can I listen to music? No honey..... I HATE saying no--- so at that point I do something ridiculous like hold them upside down and dance around--- the giggles start and they forget all about the nos.
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Mrs. Batman




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 07 2011, 12:04 am
whether you choose to let her color or not on shabbos is up to you, but as a early childhood professional in training, I will give youthe following advice. whatever rule you make you have to stick to, even if you change ur mind about it later. if you tell her no coloring, but don't follow through, then how is she supposed to take anything else you say seriously?

on the other matter, I ar=gree with the lady who said it was more important to love shabbos. but maybe you could build her up to it. for example, tell her that maybe for just one shabbos she could color but not play with electronic toys - and offer a reward if she sticks to it...
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