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-> Working Women
Imhappy!
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 12:51 pm
My DH is B'h more available than other men and since I work and sometimes run late I call to ask him to wait for my DD bus.
It happened that the first few days in the new school year my DH was waiting for her in the afternoon together with other neighbors (mothers).
(one of the days I was actually home but DH offered to wait downstairs so I quickly changing into home clothes and put up dinner...)
one day a friendlyneighbor tells me you're daughter is so cute and smily when she comes off the bus. ... and then she tells me "If you're not here to see it at least I am"
what do you think about this comment?
is there something wrong with a father waiting for his child? My DD loves her dad and my husband gladly waits for her.
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timeout
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:06 pm
She might be a little jealous that your DH is home and helping, do not even pay her any mind!
Be glad your DH is helping and home while all other mothers me included are ranting about our DH's working crazy hours and never being home.
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cindy324
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:07 pm
Answer: Glad that MY child brihgtens YOUR day as much as she does ours!
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Imhappy!
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:12 pm
I guess its my guilty feeling thats making me so upset.
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chocolate moose
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:12 pm
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momofgirls
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:14 pm
I would ignore her it is her father not a stranger.
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Coke Slurpee
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 1:38 pm
My husband waits with my son at the bus stop alot. We have two dif. stops for my kids so we split the job.
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Imhappy!
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 2:09 pm
thanks everyone. its a hard comment to swallow.my husband is with one foot out of kollel (he's taking some side courses) so he is around for those few minutes when the bus comes and since I'm the one bringingin the money and running to the sitter he sometimes when is able helps out. She jsut made me feel so bad like I'm depriving my daughter from having her mother waiting for her.
I understand the people that don't agree with sitters waiting for the kids but a father is that a problem too???
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amother
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 2:18 pm
Its your child not hers to comment on or agree about who waits be it father, sitter, grandmother ect. Trusts your instincts , a child who comes home to someone who loves them be it father, mother, grandmother ect is very lucky.
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stem
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 3:13 pm
Say something along the lines of: "Thank you, that's so kind of you to share in my daughter's joy at seeing her father. Oh, and don't worry, since your husband is not there to meet his daughter, at least my husband is there to see her for him."
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withhumor
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 3:14 pm
No question, she’s jealous.
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cindy324
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 3:39 pm
Quote: | "Thank you, that's so kind of you to share in my daughter's joy at seeing her father. Oh, and don't worry, since your husband is not there to meet his daughter, at least my husband is there to see her for him." |
He he, I like that!
Quote: | I guess its my guilty feeling thats making me so upset.
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What?? what do YOU have to feel guilty about? Don't let her get to you. Her FATHER is waiting for her, in my book that's just as good as mommy!
Quote: | No question, she’s jealous. |
Definitely so!
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tziviakayla
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 3:40 pm
I don't drive so my dh drives all our kids to school. I used to feel sad and guilty that I was missing out on this time and that I wouldn't get to drop them off and sometimes pick them up. But, he has an absolute blast with the kids in the car They sing and bond with each other. They have their little jokes that only they understand...it's really cute to see! When the kids are 4 and in nursery, they start later, so he has only that child in the car. What a special time with Abba! (I think my kids become VERY goofy as a result )
Let your husband enjoy those moments with your daughter...don't feel guilty...and certainly don't worry about the other mother!
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FINKEL
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 7:58 pm
I work full time 6 days a week and my husband is also one foot out of kollel and starting a home based buis.
for the past year he has put on and taken off all of my three kids and they are thrilled !!!
its not a babysitter or shiksa !! its the kids father !!!
one day I was sick so I stayed home and took my 3 year old of the bus, he cried and asked for "tattie", kids get used to whatever you do to them,and I would say the woman is either jelous or dumb
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ChavieK
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 10:03 pm
Lucky you , lucky dd. My kids like when Daddy has to wait the few minutes for carpool to get them, after I leave for someother carpool.He is the father after all!!
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newmom
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Mon, Sep 25 2006, 10:20 pm
sounds like jealousy to me!
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faigie
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 10:11 am
shes caught a case of the green eyed monster, no doubt.
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Imhappy!
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 10:35 am
thank you so much everyone you made me feel much better.
It works out much better for me when my husband waits for her bus.
either I come home a few minutes later and walk into the house together with them or I come home with five mintues earlier and am in "home mode" when she walks in. I also hate all the yentas downstairs. it's hard for me to be cute and friendly after a long day of work.
the guilty feeling is the fact that I am not such a good mother since I'm working so many hours and I am not there to wait for my kids bus like most mothers.
my schedule works for me so who cares??? thanks everyone!
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chen
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 10:36 am
why are you assuming the remark was meant in a nasty way? when I read the OP, my assumption was that the neighbor feels bad for the worried-to-distraction mother who isn't there to see the child come home and is assuring her that her child is doing just fine
I'm all for fathers taking an active role in childcare, but there are some people who believe that men are completely incompetent in this area. To them, a father is not a reliable caregiver, and any mother who resorts to leaving her child with his father needs reassurance that the man has not accidentally flushed the baby down the toilet or fed him whiskey sours or something equally horrifying.
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timeout
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 2:29 pm
Chen - That sounds absolutely ridiculous, my DH was nervous at the begining with both babies but once he got the hang of it at some things he was better than me!
I do know some DH's who will pretend not to know anything so they get out of helping.
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