For those mothers that have young children

amother

Tue, Oct 17 2006, 4:53 pm

I found a very good paying job and it starts at 8 and finishes at 5. Do you think its a good idea (from your experience) to leave my kids till that time. My youngest is 2 years old. Please I need advice. thanks

Meema2Kids

Tue, Oct 17 2006, 8:18 pm

I think it depends on the child and the child care. My oldest did wonderful in day care. My second, I didn't realize until I quit working full time, really needed much more mommy time.

BrachaVHatzlocha

Tue, Oct 17 2006, 8:22 pm

you would probably see your child about 3-4 hours a day...an hour before work and 2-3 after, when you're rushign to get the kids out before and after work exhausted...
HOWEVER....do you really need the money? that's question #1. If not, I would try to find something with less hours....(though to tell you the truth, I have 2 kids and my oldest is 2...I work M-Thurs and I'm out of the house 8-3:30....but my mother, their grandmother, babysits and I NEED to work)

happymom

Tue, Oct 17 2006, 10:29 pm

I dont think its a good idea. thats basically the whole day. when u get home ull be too tired to do things. like making dinner, and especially spending time with your kids...... u will basically see them at dinner and thats it. I dont think its a good idea, do u feel it is?

Wed, Oct 18 2006, 6:56 am

can u job-share? find another mother to split the job. like u do mon, tues an she does weds, thurs? or u do morning she do afternoons?
it is a long day. im sure toddler will be fine in a good daycare but if u will be so tired when u get home then the few hours u have with ur toddler might not be quality time.

happymom

Wed, Oct 18 2006, 10:35 am

Quote:

im sure toddler will be fine in a good daycare

I cannot imajine any toddler being fine for so many hours in any program. thats way too long![/code]

Imhappy!

Wed, Oct 18 2006, 10:46 am

first of all realize that you will be out of the house BEFORE 8 and come home AFTER 5 (is there traveling time?)

I've done that when I had one kid and although I managed very well (I was preg too) and I gave my kid mommy time b/c she napped twice at the sitter so she wasn't ready for bed till midnight. I would not recommend it.

You have to be honest with yourself. why are you going out to work.
do you need the money? need a break from the house? combination of both? working a lot of hours can cause stress. You might also need to spend money where you never did just b/c you putting in so many hours at work (example: cleaning help, babysitting, expensive grocery shopping:phone orders instead of cheaper stores...ect.)

if you are doing this for money and the job is paying well. then post back and we can try to give you managment tips. however if money is not the biggest reason of you going out to work then you might want to consider something else.

613

Wed, Oct 18 2006, 11:12 am

Personally, I think it's a very long time. I work 6 hours a day (+ 20 minute communte), and I think that's hard. b"H my dh watches the kids for the first hour in the morning and for about two hours before I get home, so they are only in daycare for 4 hours.

When I just had one, I was in school and working. I had a 45 minute commute, that dd shared with me on most days. Some nights I didn't get home until 10pm- it was nuts. But I knew it was for less than a year, and that was it. I could not commit to hours like that for longer-term. It also helped that my mother babysat a lot and we had very loving babysitters, who gave tons of attention.

How old are you older ones? Are they in school now anyway?

Imhappy!

Wed, Oct 18 2006, 11:22 am

another point to consider is that a year old might be pretty bored with a babysitter you might want to put in into playgroup setting like 5 - 6 kids.
playgroup is till 3:00 as a rule and kids tend to come home pretty cranky so you need to have your arrangments well done.

amother

Wed, Oct 18 2006, 11:34 am

OP here, Just want to let you all know I turned down the job, I asked the HR if he can work with my hours and he said no so that is it. I am not taking the job, and I thought about it that it wont be good for my kids I rather keep them in school and extra hour till 4 than to keep them till 5.

To answer 613 response all my kids are in school so I dont have a problem with anyone going to a babysitter.

withhumor

Sat, Oct 28 2006, 10:33 pm

My baby is very very active and wild and no matter how much I play with her she doesn’t need my company. I was forced to find a place that will keep her occupied until 4:30 even though I don’t work until then. When she comes home, she is fully satisfied and is happy to be with me in anon-demanding, less physical way and then we both have true quality time. It also helps that I have some time for myself before she comes home, which I didn’t realize until after I started this new schedule, how invigorating it can be. Make sure to establish this for yourself. If you do not get home until 5:20, you should not have the children home before another half hour. I’ve tried it the other way around and you will burn out very quickly.

queen

Sat, Oct 28 2006, 10:48 pm

it's hard to turn down work however in the long run you'll be glad that YOU'RE the one bringing up your kids. No one can do the job as well as you can. 8)

Emuna

Sat, Oct 28 2006, 11:04 pm

I'm so glad you turned down the job - I see kids in childcare and even the greatest "provider" can't offer the hugs and kisses and LOVE that a mother can. I feel bad for kids missing out on the physical aspects of love in a childcare setting.

raizy

Sun, Oct 29 2006, 10:23 pm

yes but sometimes the mother doesnt give the love and kisses and hugs... so it is up to the daycare provider to do that job. I had plenty kids who loved me more then their moms. they didnt want to go home all for a good reason!!!

amother

Mon, Oct 30 2006, 10:25 pm

well, could it be they knew you better than their moms ? if a childs in daycare all day and sees their mother for an hour or 2 it makes sens the child will be more attached and used to the babysitter!!

why should he want to go to his mother who never sees him?