Sleep training my 6 month old

malky800

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 11:24 pm

My 6 month old loves falling asleep in my arms, and I've had enough.
tonight I'm trying to sleep train him. I let him cry for a few minutes, then I go in and calm him down. As he starts rubbing his eyes, I put him down, etc.
How long as I supposed to let it run for? It's been 1 1/2 hours already, and it's way past his bedtime.

cubbie

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 11:42 pm

Until it works - and then everytime he wakes up after that.
When we sleep train, no matter what method we use, we have to decide from the outset that we're going to see it through to the end no matter how long it takes, because otherwise we're being very unfair. If your baby cries for 1 1/2 hours and then you give up you've made him cry for no reason and taught him that he needs to cry for as long as it takes to get what he wants - and the next time you try he'll cry for longer. If you don't give in you're teaching him that he needs to sleep in his bed. Accept that this will take up to a week - usually day one is ok, day 2 is much worse, day 3 is the hardest, but once you've got past day 3 your over it!
So decide if you're able to be strong enough before you start to see it through - and if so, good luch, be strong, hang in there, this time next week, life will be a better place for both of you!

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 11:44 pm

Put him in the crib and sit right near it, chatting slowly and quietly to him, but don't touch him. Give him a pacifyer. Keep letting him you know you are there, as needed, in a very slow sleepy voice. Stay there until he is truly asleep. Show up quickly if he calls, so he knows it's no problem. If he calls, just talk to him a little; minimize touching at night; it is stimulating and will wake him up too much. Have a nightlight.

Sometimes, back in the day, I simply lay on the floor on a blanket next to the crib until he fell asleep, but I did not want to put a bed in his room for me.

malky800

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 11:44 pm

I wonder if I'm wrong because some times he falls asleep right when I put him down.
I'm trying to deal with te times when I put him down and he's not ready. I need him to be able to play a bit and then roll over and close his eyes by himself.
I thought sleep training might help.

pickle

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 11:51 pm

This is one of those hard parenting things to do. Its so hard to hear your child cry and cry. I agree with cubbie that you have to be super strong about it and know that this is what you really want to do. According to my doctor once you have checked that your child is well fed, no dirty diaper, nothing else bothering them, tuck them in to sleep and leave the room. DON'T GO BACK IN TO KEEP CHECKING ON THEM because that is a tease to your child. I know it sounds really harsh and I don't know if I agree with it myself (I can see it both ways) but for whatever its worth thats his advice.

graphixmom

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 11:51 pm

omg! so funny to read this!! my baby just turned 6 months today. two weeks ago I decided THATS IT! he would only sleep in my arms. when I would put him down, he'd get up and screen and I'd have to put him back to sleep all over again until I would just give up and he'd sleep with me in my bed. TERRIBLE habit! not only that, but he barely napped! he of course wouldnt sleep in the crib. he would fall asleep if I was out, in the car seat but as soon as I'd pull into the drive way, he was up! my cousin recommended a book called, "healthy sleep habits, happy child" by marc weisbluth. I bought it on amazon. I can not tell you what a lifesaver it was!!! the first night my son cried for exactly an hour... the next day less... I included naps too.. by the time the fourth day came around, he barely wimpered. its now a little over a week. he takes two naps, and gets up maybe once in middle of the night. he goes in just fine and does not cry! he is a much happier baby now that he's sleeping really well and sleeping thru the night and that makes a much happier mommy! totally buy this book! I dont know what I would have done without it! please pm me if you have any specific questions! good luck!

tikva18

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 11:52 pm

malky800 wrote:

I laid down with my babies and nursed them down, then gently backed away so they'd stay asleep. 6 months is awfully young to let a baby cry, imo.

graphixmom

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 11:53 pm

oh, and yes, I cried the first night along with him! b"h my husband was home that night and he kept me from giong upstairs. otherwise I woudl have taken him out after ten min! but I sure am happy I didnt. and this method does not let you go in and out checking on him. it just teases the baby.

ElTam

Thu, Aug 04 2011, 12:11 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferber_method

I would read up a little bit before you try it, just so you know what to expect. If DH is willing, I would go out after you put the baby down for the first few nights. Dh was able to stand the crying better than I was. By baby #1 I cried so hard I threw up. With other babies, I went to the grocery store, drug store etc. for the first few nights. After the first three nights or so, it was short enough until the baby went to sleep that I just stayed home.

B'hatzlacha. It's hard but it is worth it. (Although it is not for everyone.)

gp2.0

Thu, Aug 04 2011, 12:15 pm

IME 6 months was too early to sleep train. I tried, DD cried for HOURS day after day, it was a disaster.

However at a year old, she WAS ready for it. She kvetched or cried for fifteen minutes at most, but usually only for five minutes, and then lay quietly until she fell asleep.
The crying at a year was more of an angry/upset sort of crying, while the crying at 6 months was an hysterical/panicked/terrified crying. I can see that clearly now. With future kids I'm not even going to bother trying before 12 months. I just think it's too early.

gp2.0

Thu, Aug 04 2011, 12:18 pm

I would also like to add that IMO it's pointless to sleep train at 6 months because around then they start teething and it disrupts the sleep routine. So despite e/o saying you'll only have those few nights and then she'll be 'trained' the reality is you'll be busy 'retraining' and listening to her scream for hours every few weeks when a new tooth comes in.

seeker

Thu, Aug 04 2011, 12:26 pm

I also got fed up at 6 months but sleep training didn't work. The experienced moms in my life said maybe it's just too early. I gave up and now trying again at 8 months and even though we're not there yet, it's a lot better. I can see the difference, when I put the baby down she seems to understand a little more what's going on instead of being completely alarmed at my betrayal.

So, maybe you'll be successful after a couple of nights of this, but just saying that if it doesn't seem to be working maybe try again at a different developmental stage. For me, an hour of crying would be more than enough of a sign that it's just not time.

sofaraway

Thu, Aug 11 2011, 2:03 pm

melalyse

Thu, Aug 11 2011, 9:26 pm

[quote="sofaraway"]What about in the middle of the night? What do you do when baby (7m) wakes up at 1 or/ and 3 am? you let him cry until he falls back asleep? How does it work? Also, I am trying to put the bb to sleep in my toddlers room, but when he wakes up at night, I don't want him to wake up my 2yo DD.
Any advice? thx[/quote}

I have a cutoff time that I won't feed DS (also 7 months) before. Now it is 7 hours, if he wakes up before 7 hours after he last ate I let him cry and feed him if it was after 7 hours. So if he eats at 6:30 before he goes to bed, I wouldn't feed him until 1:30. My DS is still in my room, but when DD was sleeping with DS 1 and I let her cry, he didn't wake up.

Also, if anyone is interested babycenter has a whole group called teaching your baby and toddler how to sleep. It is a very good board.

sofaraway

Fri, Aug 12 2011, 12:46 am

[quote="melalyse"]

sofaraway wrote:

What about in the middle of the night? What do you do when baby (7m) wakes up at 1 or/ and 3 am? you let him cry until he falls back asleep? How does it work? Also, I am trying to put the bb to sleep in my toddlers room, but when he wakes up at night, I don't want him to wake up my 2yo DD.
Any advice? thx[/quote}

I have a cutoff time that I won't feed DS (also 7 months) before. Now it is 7 hours, if he wakes up before 7 hours after he last ate I let him cry and feed him if it was after 7 hours. So if he eats at 6:30 before he goes to bed, I wouldn't feed him until 1:30. My DS is still in my room, but when DD was sleeping with DS 1 and I let her cry, he didn't wake up.

Also, if anyone is interested babycenter has a whole group called teaching your baby and toddler how to sleep. It is a very good board.

Thx! I like the idea of the amount of time you don't feed him. It makes sense. For the sharing room, I'm very nervous but I will try it...