my 1 year old's private part is too closed? help!

amother

Fri, Sep 09 2011, 6:44 pm

I took my daughter for her 15 mos. well visit this week. The doctor said that the opening is too closed and he proceeded to insert a swab and push down which opened the whole - my baby was shrieking and I was half crying. He then told me, make sure to "do this" every day so the skin doesn't grow back. I looked at him in alarm and said "DO THAT???????"
He said "no, no, just make sure to hold it opened all the way so it stays opened and doesn't grow closed again".
I didn't do anything that evening and the next morning when I changed her diaper, I forgot about it. I remembered in the afternoon- so when I changed her I tried to hold it open- she was squirming and kicking and it looked like it was a healing cut that was closed! I couldn't open it by just holding it, so I gently put a q-tip next to it and my baby screamed!!!! I couldn't bring myself to torture her and closed the diaper. She cried for like 10 min straight before I could calm her down.

What should I do? I feel like a baby to call the dr, and say "I can't do it" Now, I am doubting myself if I understood him correctly? I don't want to go back there for him to do it again, but I don't want to just ignore it! I can't torture my baby like this- also she is soo strong and I can't possibly hold her down!

Please, if anyone has dealt with this- please give me some advice! Thanks.

Seraph

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 2:05 pm

I heard there are hormone (estrogen) creams that do this for you. Not sure why you'd need to tear it manually...

lst

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 3:17 pm

my daughter had it, we used estrogen cream for 10 days or something. we also had to make sure it stayed very dry. for a while after we used the estrogen cream, we'd still put on diaper rash cream to keep it dry.
the doctor still checks on it whenever we're there. we've had to reapply the estrogen cream a few times, specifically during toilet training, as the area was more irritated and wet.
I never heard of what you described.
sorry you had to go through that!
(it's called labial adhesion if you want to look it up)

lilacdreams

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 3:26 pm

I had it with one of my kids also - its not so uncommon. My baby was very young and it must have just happened but the doc also 'ripped' it open. She didn't cry but boy was I angry at him. It adheres together because baby girls don't make estrogen which is a natural lubricant and helps it stay moist down there. When she is about 2 yrs old she will start to make estrogen by herself and everything should be ok. Till then every diaper change just remember to swipe a wipe or finger inbetween the lips to stop them form closing. If you say it already resealed then ask for estrogen cream and don't let the doc near her!

freidasima

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 5:00 pm

I second, third and fourth the estrogen cream stuff.
I know this well from one of my girls, you just have to make sure that it stays clean, use the cream (which didn't exist in her day and it was painful to open) and by two it solves itself if it hasn't closed completely, in which case they used to cut it open and it can be terribly painful as your daughter showed you.
Get the cream.

lilacdreams

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 5:31 pm

something else I wanted to add. After the girl starts to produce estrogen the v@gina will probably open by itself and will need no furthur care. This is what I was told, but its up to you if you want to wait that long. There is nothing wrong with leaving it, just make sure she is cleaned properly after a diaper change.

lst

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 6:14 pm

it usually clears up on it's own at 2, but not necessarily. so don't get nervous if doesn't. my daughter's didn't, she just needed another round of cream. we probably did a total of three courses of the estrogen cream.

amother

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 8:52 pm

OP here-

Gut voch and thank you all for your help with this!
I checked it a few times over shabbos, and it's not like it's completely closed at all- the dr. even had to show me where it is too closed; the hole is supposed to go down further. I see now, that at the bottom of the hole there is a little line- like scar, which I am assuming is from him opening it, and closed up. however, the hole is far from being closed! I held it open but that line didn't pop open- but I'm wondering- as long as the hole is more opened than it is closed, and I make sure it stays that way- do I have to do anything more than that? When she is two, will whatever tiny part is closed, open up?

amother

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 9:10 pm

I wonder which pediatrican you used. I had a horribly traumatic experience with my dd at about 18 mths. only difference was that it was the PA who tore dd open. my dd wouldn't let me near her to diaper change her. it was horribly traumatic for me and her.

here is a few questions:
does your dd urinate with ease or does she squirm in pain?
is her urine really smelly (extra smelly)?
does she always smell extra smelly down there no matter how much you bathe?
I was having these issues with my dd. If you are not having these issues I would not go down the estrogen route just yet. But you are NEVER supposed to just tear a kid open! never! It's textbook! google it- labial adhesion. I will tell you why- the body responds to it like a cut- and it will fight to heal itself back- meaning it will close up again.

If you are having urinating issues, then yes, I would say go the estrogen route, but first try the natural methods that I will post soon. I even went as far as to take my dd to a gyn but he wanted to knock her out to examine her and he informed that this whole ordeal may possibly scar her for life (PA tearing her open) and she may remember this. I didn't want my dd knocked out and I had enough of ppl examining her down there. That's when I used my computer.

If she is able to urinate without irritation, it's best to leave it alone. You CAN use flaxseed oil for a labial adhesion. Flaxseed oil naturally has estrogen in it. add it to the bathwater. it will make the baby bath tub or regular bathtub oily but hey, it's worth it. if you do use it in your regular bathtub make sure to soap the bottom of the tub afterward so the next person who uses it doesn't slip and hurt themselves as the tub gets pretty slippery. after the bath if you want, you can use a few drops in that area and gently stretch the skin (open and close, open and close) but do not tear any unopened parts open. Eventually it will reopen again after a week or so . do this everyday. If your dd cries for the open/close part then DON'T DO IT. don't make this traumatic for her.

using estrogen cream has its own aggravations. after I finished using it, it closed up again. It can have bad side affects (pubic hair, breasts on your one year old, etc.). luckily I used it short enough that my dd did not have these side affects but ppl that use it for a few cycles may have these issues. My dd's labial adhesion opens and closes and whim, but I have left it alone. If my dd complains that her peepee is bothering her I start my oily baths for her again. I don't do open/close with her anymore (she is 3) but the bath takes care of her. It tends to happen in the summer time when she gets irritated in general (very sensitive skin).

as far as I know 2 year olds do not produce estrogen. It is when the child turns 6 that the body naturally produces estrogen. and this problem usually goes away. hope that is helpful.

amother

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 9:10 pm

Now I'm getting nervous. My doc did that procedure with my baby but did not tell me it needed any further treatment. I really hope that it didn't close up or something. Having it cut at two somehow horrifies me and reminds me of female circumcision. Yikes!

amother

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 9:14 pm

This type of closing is very common. My previous pedi did this to our dd as well without consulting us about what he was going to do or obtaining our consent. He just said basically what you wrote after the fact. After some investigating, we found that it is an out-dated technique, and it usually resolve on their own as they grow. I would not be so concerned about it, since as long as there is an opening for her to pee, it's not a problem at all, and again will end up resolving on its own as they grow and their bodies produce more estrogen (that's why it tends to get closed - their bodies don't make enough). If you are still concerned, you can ask for a cream to use, but we ended up switching to a more gentle dr.

chavs

Sat, Sep 10 2011, 9:53 pm

Op that sounds really traumatic for you both. I am so sorry it must have been really horrible.
I would research other options then what this doctor did and then find a doctor who will have a more gentle approach as it sound just horrific what this doctor did to her.
Hugs to you both.

ElTam

Sun, Sep 11 2011, 1:01 am

Sounds like it is time for a second opinion. Find someone who your friends rave about and who is younger and maybe versed on newer approaches to this condition.

Hatzlacha. This sounds so hard to deal with for you and your poor little one.

ElTam

Sun, Sep 11 2011, 1:01 am

lilacdreams

Sun, Sep 11 2011, 1:04 am

your dd will not grow breasts or pubic hair from using estrogen cream for 10 days. 10 months - maybe - not 10 DAYS!!

FranticFrummie

Sun, Sep 11 2011, 2:11 am

lilacdreams wrote:

your dd will not grow breasts or pubic hair from using estrogen cream for 10 days. 10 months - maybe - not 10 DAYS!!

And even if it DID, the side effects would go away as soon as you stopped using the cream. At that age, the secondary s*xual development would not be permanent.

lst

Sun, Sep 11 2011, 3:25 am

lilacdreams wrote:

your dd will not grow breasts or pubic hair from using estrogen cream for 10 days. 10 months - maybe - not 10 DAYS!!

This.
And yes, the only way we found out about this problem was when my daughter started crying when she urinated.
Never hearing of this before, I had assumed it was uti.

amother

Sun, Sep 11 2011, 7:47 am

I'm the poster that posted about the possible side effects of using estrogen cream. I DID write that I used it short enough that my dd did not have side effects, but a child can have side affects if they need round after round after round of treatment. And, that is months of treatment. It most certainly can happen in less than 10 months. All I can tell op is research, research, research and read up on everything online. I didn't say NOT to use the cream, but it is better to try other things first. Many kids anyway, close up AGAIN after the cream is done. doesn't sound though that op's baby has a serious labial adhesion. I would also seriously consider switching pediatricians.

NewGran

Sun, Sep 11 2011, 10:48 am

My DD had the same - when I went to the Dr we were referred to he asked permission to open it while he looks as it is not worth bothering her twice. She hardly blinked so I assume that maybe it was not very bad. He told me to put Vaseline on my finger at every diaper change and run it through to keep it open while it heals and she never had any problem after that.
Incidentally, during the war, the frum boys that wanted to avoid the Russian draft, cut the insides of two of their fingers and bandaged them together which caused the fingers to heal together and then they were exempt as their hand was 'deformed'.

amother

Sun, Sep 11 2011, 11:05 am

My ped did this to my baby when she was a month old, at her first complete checkup. She lubricated her pinky finger and stuck it in there, also only explaining to me after she did it what she was doing. My baby didn't even seem to notice. She told me to keep checking and make sure it isn't stuck together, which I did, and it seems open to me.

(I switched from this ped because they do this sort of thing all the time, do things without consulting parents first and are so arrogant. When DD had an umbilical granuloma they swiped silver nitrate without checking with me first, either. FTR, I found a simple method online that got rid of it in a few days, by applying salt to the area, letting it sit for 30 minutes and then cleaning it off.)