If you fired your children's ped, would you tell them why?

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amother

Sun, Oct 09 2011, 12:28 am

For a long time I have been bugged by something about my kids' doctor. We stayed with the doctor because we felt overall the care was good. However, something recently happened and I realized I can't keep this person as our doctor.

It wasn't anything like malpractice or abuse, but not the standard of care I think is acceptable.

So I wrote the doctor a letter explaining my decision. I waited a few days to let the anger over what had happened subside, but I still can't decide if it is worthwhile to send the letter.

Thoughts?

MaBelleVie

Sun, Oct 09 2011, 12:34 am

When I switched peds because I was unhappy with the care at the first group, I had to fill out a form requesting transfer of medical records to the new ped. One of the drs at the old group saw it, and she called me to ask why I was switching. I stated my reasons as diplomatically as I could, but she was very defensive and came across as unprofessional (even though none of my issues related to her care, they all happened with others in the practice. )

So, that was my experience. If you do send it, I hope it is better received than my concerns were.

amother

Sun, Oct 09 2011, 12:46 am

I would just not b back

granolamom

Sun, Oct 09 2011, 12:59 am

first time we switched, the senior dr (was a large practice) called to ask me why we left. I tried to tactfully tell him. second time, the dr was kinda sorta a family friend and a sensitive soul so I didnt tell him I didnt trust him with my childrens medical care. I just said his philosophy and mine werent compatible and I could no longer resolve this in my head (my version of 'its not you, its me'). good thing I was gentle because it turns out he occasionally covers for my pediatrician. so you never know when you will need the dr you fire. dont burn bridges!

amother

Sun, Oct 09 2011, 1:01 am

I should clarify. I am staying with the same office, but I changed my kids' primary doctor (for well visits) and I won't see him/her for sick vists anymore either. So I will see him/her in the halls and he/she is going to figure out my kids are not on his/her schedule. I just figured it would be less awkward to handle it in advance. And I figured I would be more diplomatic in written form than I would be in person.

amother

Sun, Oct 09 2011, 1:05 am

OP again, and I did try to put something sort of "it's part me/part you" in there as well, to be polite. And I mentioned the things that we liked about the care we got. It's definitely not hate mail.

But right now, I'm so angry that if he/she were the on-call and the office was closed, I'd take my kid to an urgent care before I would talk to him/her. (I didn't say that in the letter.)

granolamom

Sun, Oct 09 2011, 1:58 am

I'm not sure I would put anything I might later regret in writing.
I might just not say anything and have a response ready in my head incase the dr asked.
if its a large practice, he might not even notice (one reason we left the first practice). and even if he does, if he's professional, he should realize that not every dr is every patients cup of tea. if he notices and wants to know so that he can grow, he will contact you and ask. at that point, I'd tell him (gently and diplomatically of course) your reasons.
if he's the arrogant type and asks, I'd avoid and give a non-answer (ah, well, dr other-guy is just better suited for my kids, thanks gotta run)

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