Please help me figure this out

amother

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 8:31 am

I just had my 3rd child 3 weeks ago and after 5 years of a horrible marriage my husband is leaving me. I'm completely freaking out since I'm a stay at home mom and have no skills. Please help me figure out 2 things:

1. What's the best career to go to school for that takes the least amount of time but will make enough to support a single mother with 3 kids comfortably. (If there is such a thing) Is there anything that I can start working in after an associates and then get my BA while working.

2. Maybe I'm doing it wrong but it doesn't seem possible for me to get a job that pays enough to cover expenses until I finish school. What in the heck am I supposed to do so that I don't live in a box with 3 kids and no food. (I live in Brooklyn)

I feel like I'm having a panic attack, please help me figure this out!

Liba

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 8:41 am

First, mazal tov on your baby!!

I have a friend who was in a similar situation. She got on section eight, got food stamps, medicaid, wic and welfare and went back to school. Five years later she had her nursing degree and a job.

It took time, but by taking advantage of all of the public assistance out there she was able to live pretty well well really bettering her situation. Now she is paying taxes happily B"H.

SingALong

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 9:18 am

I would also vote for a nursing degree. U can work with an associates, as an RN, and then move on to bachelors, and even masters in a specialty. A nurse practitioner is also a great thing to do since u can work more independently, set up your own hours, etc.

Maybe become a para professional for BOE, not much schooling, just paperwork, and then work on an education degree part time? I think a lot of the education courses u can find online programs.

TwinsMommy

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 2:04 pm

why make NOTHING (and depend on handouts) for up to 5 years and THEN make a normal amount?

Why not do something where you can make $20,000 this year and $30,000 next year and $40,000 the year after, so you don't need full assistance and with alimony and child support you can support yourself without government help? Just a thought!

Maybe school isn't what you need, just an entry level position in a field in which you can move up quickly.

amother

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 2:54 pm

TwinsMommy wrote:

Like what? And what happens if they decide to fire me in 10 years and them I have to start all over again?

ally

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 3:08 pm

TwinsMommy wrote:

Because an education is a long term investment that has a safer return than 'moving up in a job'. And studying for a degree while being a single mother of 3 kids is more than 2 full time jobs. Honestly, this is what government support is for.

Barbara

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 3:14 pm

amother wrote:

TwinsMommy wrote:

Like what? And what happens if they decide to fire me in 10 years and them I have to start all over again?

Well, then you're looking for a position with 10 years of experience in your field.

Honest, she was trying to help. In order to go back to school, not only are you going to have to find enough money to support your family -- through spousal and child support, through government programs, and through part time work -- you''re also going to have to find enough money to pay tuition and books, and for child care expenses. Within five years, you will have tuition, and you will need to find a way to pay that.

You need to immediately secure temporary child support, then apply for assistance. Figure out what resources you have, what you need, and then you need a plan for how to get it. Understand that you may need to move to a smaller home, in a less desirable area.

In your position, I would consider attending a local community college on a part-time basis while working at any job that you can find. Talk to a career counselor at the school about future careers.

4ofus

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 3:15 pm

ally wrote:

TwinsMommy wrote:

Right. Plus, how is she supposed to live on $20,000- $30,000?

amother

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 3:15 pm

my first thought was nursing, but as you said that grosses you out... what about dental hygenist? I believe it's a 6 month course, maybe even associates but definitely not more and I believe the pay starts at around $50,000/yr plus benefits.

again, not sure what your skill set is but life coaching doesn't require formal training, and the courses that are offered don't take all that long (though this may not be the best time in your life to pursue that)

there are also small things you can do while in school/until you find something more permanent that require no/minimal training ie babysitting, sheitels, hair/makeup for weddings

b'hatzlacha!! you sound like you are going through a very tough time and are trying to do the best you can so hugs and kudos to you!

amother

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 3:31 pm

amother wrote:

OP here

I looked into dental hygienist and an associates program takes 2 years. Where did you see 6 months?

ally

Sun, Oct 23 2011, 3:35 pm

Barbara wrote:

amother wrote:

TwinsMommy wrote:

Like what? And what happens if they decide to fire me in 10 years and them I have to start all over again?

I don't think amother is looking to go to an Ivy League college or study a Bachelor of Fine Arts. If she can rig it, some type of qualification is a much surer bet than an entry level job with promise (? assuming you can find that?) of moving up.
I agree that OP needs to figure out what resources she has before applying starting school. But these should include whatever government aid and tuition assistance she is eligible for.