Daughter doesn't wipe!

amother

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 12:43 pm

My daughter is 10 years old, and I ALWAYS remind her, WIPE, FLUSH, WASH YOUR HANDS! I'm like a broken record, but she doesn't listen. She goes to the bathroom, does her business, stands up and walks out. How in the world can I get her to do everything properly in the bathroom? PLEase help!

Ruchel

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 12:51 pm

Many adults don't wash their hands (source: polls), a fair number also do not flush. But wipe?

TMI, I had friends in HS who held by "wiping for the little thing is a waste of time, I just "shake". Yes, for real. Normal girls.
Tell DD she will have infections if she does not wipe. At 10 it is not forgetfulness, it is not caring.

amother

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 12:59 pm

I now it's not caring and it's disgusting. Besides for being unhealthy, it also makes her smell. It drives me CRAZY!

5*Mom

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 1:28 pm

I'm wondering why you're still telling her what to do in the bathroom when she is already 10. She may be attempting to regain some control over what is private and should be completely under her own control at this age. I'd just back off.

It is reasonable and recommended that before she or ANY child takes food or helps in the kitchen they be requested to please wash hands with soap. Leave her alone in the bathroom.

amother

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 2:05 pm

amother wrote:

I now it's not caring and it's disgusting. Besides for being unhealthy, it also makes her smell. It drives me CRAZY!

I have a similar problem with my almost 8 year old who has developmental delays. Still, just cause she's delayed doesn't mean she can't wipe! I was advised by an OT who has lots of experience that I shouldn't get overly involved and insist on wiping for her etc. She's got to take responsibility for her toilet habits. BUT if she smells I can't let her out of the house to play because SHE SMELLS and you can't go out when you're smelly. We're working on it..... In the meantime I found that she did her thing in my bathroom this evening and there was no toilet paper. Rolling Eyes

It's a long process.

imasinger

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 2:28 pm

Is it a comfort thing? Maybe a wet wipe would make her more comfortable, or a different brand of TP. See if you can get her to tell you what her concern is.

I second the motion of seeking help if you can't get anywhere on your own. She is of an age where she will start to have social problems about this, if she isn't already.

freidasima

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 3:14 pm

If she isn't wiping then her underwear must also be filthy.
Maybe show it to her and tell her that it can't go on that way, that's what toilet paper is for, not panties.
Make sure she has white panties so that she will see it quite well.
Tell her straight out that she stinks and that no one is going to want to sit near her in school or be near her at home.

ElTam

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 10:46 pm

My daughter is a little younger, but I finally got her to do this by really being on top of her and making her come back and do each step. (She forgets to flush, so it's easy to see if there is no toilet paper.)

It took a few months, but she finally figured out that she was going to have to wipe, flush and wash hands one way or the other, so she might as well do it the first time and keep me off her back. Because otherwise she had to interrupt what she was doing and come back.

amother

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 10:49 pm

being that I see stuff in the toilet since she doesn't flush, I'm sure it's not accidents. (we passed that already b"h) She's just lazy and wants to rush back to what she's doing. If I stop her when walking out of the bathroom, I force her to go back and do everything, and she admits that she skipped all the appropriate steps. Its out of pure laziness. We have this issue with many things with her. She wears white underwear and I show her how disgusting it looks. She still doesn't care. I tell her that her friends will make fun of her, and she STILL doesn't care. She just cares about getting back to what she was doing. The doctor even spoke to her about it. IT'S COMPLETE LAZINESS AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!

amother

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 11:29 pm

Really, if you tried all these other things then I would tell her children who smell poopy do not get to smell up the whole room and disturb other people, so she can be in her room until she is clean.

Also, is this an issue when she goes to school or is with her friends? I cant imagine other children being quiet about it when a child of that age smells like that. Maybe a little peer-pressure will get her to clean herself?

Also, she should be cleaning her own underwear from this kind of mess. Why should mommy have to? Let her clean her panties in a sink or pail, before putting them in the washer.

daisy

Sun, Nov 20 2011, 11:48 pm

imasinger wrote:

I agree with this post. Is this the only issue you are having with her? I would guess not. Please seek help. I did not have this issue with dd, but had others. It definitely helps. Hatzlacha!

FranticFrummie

Mon, Nov 21 2011, 1:22 am

My DD is 8 1/2, and still doesn't wipe, flush or wash either. She also has mild delays, but mainly she just doesn't care. She'll do them if I remind her every. single. time. She'll cheerfully change her tights and panties if I tell her, and not give it another thought. I've even had her SMELL her panties, and she was like "Yep, that stinks!" but didn't seem too bothered about it. She put on clean ones, problem solved (in her mind).

I'm seriously considering putting a little note at eye level when she's sitting on the toilet that reads "Wipe. Flush. Wash hands." I didn't want to do it at first because I didn't want to embarrass her when her friends came over, but now I'm realizing that she's not going to outgrow this on her own. Confused

Anyway, I feel your pain.