reading "non jewish" books vs jewish books

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Reading "non jewish" books vs jewish books

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

do you let your kids read secular books?

yes, as long as I approve it first

67%

[ 64 ]

yes, whatever they choose

16%

[ 16 ]

usually not, with a few exceptions

12%

[ 12 ]

never

[ 3 ]

Total Votes : 95

amother

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 8:11 pm

how do you feel about letting your kids read non-jewish books?
I have never had a problem with nonjewish books as long as the content is clean.
I am part of a community where reading secular books is looked down upon. however in defense of my chinuch choices I have to say that my kids have a great understanding of the world around them, including various historical times, without even having had an ounce of formal secular education just from reading. reading broadens their horizons and produces thinking kids who know more than just their little box they live in.

and the clincher..... my son asked me recently what are drugs? I said why are you asking? he said he read about someone getting arrested for selling illegal drugs. turns out the JEWISH book I had provided to my 9 yr old son to read provided a nice drug education for him, after all my efforts to only provide him with age appropriate clean material. it was the jewish book that did it. a jewish kids book, like preteen. not even a teen book.
I am really upset.
and I am upset at the mentality that only Jewish is kosher, and the cleanest nonjewish book, is bad just b/c the characters are not Jewish.
while some jewish novels I have read are so full of bad influences, and expose the reader to the worst types of behaviors in the form of the bad guy in the book. havent we all read those so called "jewish" books where the bad guy smokes, does drugs, is part of the mafia, beats people up, steals, etc. do our kids really need to be reading this garbage?
I much prefer a calm, kosher secular story about the wholesome good ole days.

what do you think?

September June

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 8:36 pm

I don't like the violence in some Jewish books either. However, drugs/mafia/terrorists are generally found in teen/adult novels not preteen. I'm pretty familiar with the Jewish book market and off hand can't think of any pre-teen books with violence.
I like clean secular books but they are becoming harder and harder to find.

sequoia

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 8:43 pm

We discuss this pretty often. Maybe do a search for similar threads?

amother

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 9:01 pm

I find it's the subtle messages that non jewish books send that are a problem. But it's just a feeling. I don't think it's bad.

33055

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 9:40 pm

My kids read way to fast to limit them to Jewish books. Thee are not enough. About 2 years ago, I bought my then 8 year old a book about a boy whose while family was killed by terrorists. This was a kids book. I never found this in the secular books. One does have to be careful and screen with both types.

AztecQueen2000

Sun, Dec 04 2011, 10:58 pm

You could always stick with the classics. Many of them are in public domain so they are free.

DrMom

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 1:44 am

I encourage my kids to read all sorts of books. I belong to a community in which most people share this opinion, so it is not a social issue for us.

Sometimes certain aspects of the books need explaining. For example, Xmas comes up every once in a while in children's non-Jewish literature, so I explained what xtians believe and what this holiday is, and that since many non-Jews in America/Europe believe this, it is likely to pop up again in their English-language books.

groisamomma

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 1:51 am

Squishy, I have the same problem with my son. He literally eats books, he reads them so fast. We get him books from the Jewish library all the time but his knowledge is expanded by secular books and he knows a ton of things about different topics that even I don't know about. Usually, he'll choose his own books and I'll just glance at them (if at all).

I have a question: If your kid already knows about x-mas, Halloween, Easter, etc. and he takes a book off the shelf that mentions it or is a story around it (Berenstain Bears Dress Up or something), would you make him put it back?

I find that my son is very nonchalant about it and as long as I don't draw attention to it, who cares? Dh says to go out of my way to weed them out of the pile when he's not looking. What do you think?

suomynona

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 2:20 am

I remember reading the Carolyn Haywood books as a little kid and many of them had chapters about x-mas. I don't think it affected me negatively knowing about x-mas. It was just a reality that I grew up with. I don't see why we feel our kids cannot handle what we read as kids.

zaq

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 2:26 am

groisamomma wrote:

He literally eats books

Really? He may have a condition called pica, characterized by eating inedible things.

(Sarcasm alert! Sarcasm alert!)

zaq

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 2:52 am

Those of us who were children long before there was such a thing as Jewish children's books read all about the Bobbsey Twins' Xmas and Peter Rabbit's Easter. Some of us even grew up seeing every store on Main Street and half our neighbors' houses decked out for Xmas. Yet somehow we managed to grow up without any ambiguity in our religious self-identification, (in plain English, we knew we were Jews and didn't ask our parents why we don't have an Xmas tree) and we even managed to grow up reasonably observant! Imagine that!

zaq

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 2:53 am

suomynona wrote:

I don't see why we feel our kids cannot handle what we read as kids.

This.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 3:42 am

suomynona wrote:

Completely agree. I read everything under the sun and I will let my daughter also read, whatever she wants. I think the first jewish novel I ever read was when I was already over 12 years old. I did not really like them anyway.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 3:45 am

zaq wrote:

groisamomma wrote:

He literally eats books

Really? He may have a condition called pica, characterized by eating inedible things.

(Sarcasm alert! Sarcasm alert!)

There is a great children's book "the incredible book eating boy. You can look it up. Its all about a boy who.......eats books Smile

Raisin

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 5:04 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

suomynona wrote:

thats really sad. I let my kids read non Jewish books, but I think it is very important for them to read Jewish books as well. there are many excellent quality Jewish books that I think your dd would benefit from and enjoy. I don't like the frum spy thriller drugs mossad mafia type books either and we don't have them in the house.

For a little kid, how much more fun to read about a family celebrating sukkot or chanuka then one about xmas.

(I wouldn't buy a book about xmas, but I am sure some of my kids books mention it.)

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 5:31 am

Raisin wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

suomynona wrote:

We solely got books from the library for many years. The first jewish novel I remember reading was from a friend of my sister's when my sister, who is three years my junior, got BY Times books. They were pretty good.
I never read kids books about x-mas.
But why is it sad? If we did not really buy books, where would I have gotten jewish books from?

zigi

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 9:10 am

just b/c a book is Jewish it doesn't mean that it is appropriate. would you let your child read tom clancy at the age of 9 no. so the same with the frum books.

I guess I will let my kids read non jewish books after I read them myself. my kids are at the reading level of crack at the track and go train go. so its not exactly Shayich yet.

groisamomma

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 9:20 am

zaq wrote:

groisamomma wrote:

He literally eats books

Really? He may have a condition called pica, characterized by eating inedible things.

(Sarcasm alert! Sarcasm alert!)

groisamomma

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 9:58 am

Raisin wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

suomynona wrote:

Raisin, I agree that my kids enjoy stories about Chanuka more than about Easter. Of course they do! That's why we go to the Jewish library as well. But for a family like ours that relies on the public library for most of it's books (we can't afford to buy many to keep), and comes across these kinds of books every so often, I don't really see how negatively it can affect my kids--all that can happen is that they may learn the names of non-Jewish holidays (gasp!). Or maybe I'm not as observant as I ought to be??

Books that center around Xmas (such as the American Girls book about Xmas specifically--I forget the names) I guess my kids don't take out, bec. I've never seen them in our cart, but should I be shielding them from reading it at all in the library?

I have a feeling that making it forbidden will only call attention to it. Right now my kids are very matter-of-fact about non-Jewish holidays (DD: Mommy, why is there no busing today? ME: Because your busdriver is celebrating a holiday. DD: Which one? ME: Xmas. DD: Oh.) Don't you think putting a negative spin on it will encourage her to want to find out more? Maybe I'm overreacting bec. these are my older kids and I don't remember anything about this growing up.

Ruchel

Mon, Dec 05 2011, 11:46 am

Any clean, age appropriate book is good by me unless the kid is young and the topic can cause Xmas envy or whatever.
I didn't grow up with kiddy Jewish books, they just weren't around in my times, and did not feel lacking. Of course I am happy there are some now. I found "foreign holidays" like Xmas fun to read about, hanuka was my norm.

Of course I precheck books, either myself or from frum reviews. Jewish books too, Jewish doesn't mean tznius or appropriate.

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