Self confidence - Success - Happiness - Parents

amother

Tue, Jan 03 2012, 12:22 am

Anon just cuz my friends will def work out my screen name otherwise!

I'm interested to know if there's any connection between how your parents treated you as a child and what impact that has on your life now. We can all safely assume that someone whose parents called her Loser her whole life is likely to have self esteem issues, but what about the more subtle things. I'd be really interested to hear your answers to the following:

1. Do you consider yourself to be self confident / have good self esteem?
2. Do you consider yourself to be successful? Obviously this doesn't have to be about having a great career that you love. It's more about whether you have achieved/are achieving what you wanted/want to achieve.
3. Are you overall a happy person? I ask this separately from the above 2 questions as I may consider myself to be successful, to have achieved many of my goals so far, but I am not a happy person deep down.
4. How did your parents treat you as a child?
4a. Did you have a good relationship with your parents growing up?
4b. Do you know what your parents' parenting style was like? eg were they the kind who had strict rules and it was all about discipline and respect? Were they more laid-back? Were they the kind of parents who would have help you a lot as a baby, especially to fall asleep at night?
4c. Do you think the way that your parents raised you has influenced how you parent your children? In what way?

My answers would be that I consider myself pretty successful in my professional and personal life BH, but I am not such a happy person and I feel like it goes back to how my parents raised me (very strict) which means I find it very hard to form healthy friendships.

I hope you'll share your thoughts with me!
Thank you

amother

Thu, Jan 05 2012, 12:24 pm

my mother was abusive. could be a little physically abusive at times but mainly emotionally abusive. she has controlling issues and can't cope with any situation that is a little more than the hum drum of every day routine. even fridays get her all worked up.
my dad is the most capable, caring, relaxed, helpful person on earth! AND he's a very happy person.

that said. I always had a very happy nature. I'm happy go lucky too.
also, I probably would not be so confused and messed up about certain things if my mom would let me grow up on my own...

I think it has a lot to do with nature. I'm always happy even when I'm in a bad mood. 99.9% of the time when I'm in a bad mood is because of hormones. other than that it is almost impossible to get me mad.

and my sister and brothers where all in therapy. one is more happy and one less. I'm the youngest so I guess I was spared the most of it as momma's baby... Wink