Gift for second marriage

yksraya

Thu, Jan 12 2012, 10:36 pm

in most second marriages money is very tight so if you're close enough to ask the chosson/kallah what it is that they need it will surely be appreciated if not that close give them money or a gift card.

Orchid

Fri, Jan 13 2012, 10:35 am

Ruchel wrote:

I do same as for a first

First marriage gifts are generally meant to help the couple "set up house" and it seems for a second marriage there is less of a need for these things (ex, pots, Shabbos items, etc.)

33055

Fri, Jan 13 2012, 10:50 am

I am in my second marriage.

The gifts that meant anything to me were the personal items like a silver applique candy dish.

Most people gave money. Dh and I had duplicates of most items. I wanted things that celebrated this marriage. I cherish each and every gift. My marriage is no less valuable than anyone else's because it is a second marriage. That idea is preposterous. My cartridge is not second rate because it is a second time.

morah

Fri, Jan 13 2012, 11:33 am

I think both my parents received mostly money for their respective second marriages. There wasn't a need for so much for dishes or kitchen items. However, among actual items, they most appreciated decorative items (read: not necessary, just nice) such as artwork, decorative bowls or serving pieces and the like. If you are close enough to know her taste, I would go with something like that. If you are worried that you'd mess up and get something she doesn't like, then write a nice check or give a gift card.

middy

Fri, Jan 13 2012, 11:39 am

Squishy wrote:

second marriage for me too. we also had duplicates of most of our household things and furniture, so we didn;t need any of those. we appreciated gift cards and personalized things like a challah dekel with our names on it

neveralone

Sun, Jan 15 2012, 7:42 pm

you know your friend better than we do. but just because she was previously married doesnt nessisarily mean she has everything. I know I personaly lost everything when I got divorced. a name plack for the door is a very nice gift and its not expencive if youre on a tight budget. may all of klal yisroel be zoche to true and everlasting simchos!

ronbonboo

Tue, Jul 29 2014, 9:28 am

The marriage shouldn't be minimized bc it's her second. It should be treated as her first bc after all it is her first time marrying this man.
I didn't get a bridal shower the first time and had barely anything and when we divorced I went back to boarding. My husband had barely anything bc as a bachelor he are out most meals.
I didn't get a bridal shower for my second wedding either. That being said I really wanted a tichel party. I felt like I wanted to shop for kitchen stuff with my husband and I wouldn't feel guilty splurging on what we needed. That being said I didn't have money for tichels/sheitals and since I donated everything I had from the first marriage I had to start over. I ended up being able to afford a pretty nice size tichel stash and some consignment sheitels.

She doesn't have. A plaque for their front door with their last name, the kiddush cup/challah board are from the last marriage, she may not have nice china at this point, or just simple artwork or a birkat habayit.

imasinger

Tue, Jul 29 2014, 10:49 am

My favorite gift for my second marriage was a blanket with an apple tree on it. My friend had the apples embroidered in Hebrew with the year we were married and the names of the family. We added on more embroidery for the kids we had together, and now, I have one with the initials of my first grandchild.

I use it with a rod as a hanging cover for the screen, sound system, and computer in our living room.

Last edited by imasinger on Tue, Jul 29 2014, 11:54 am; edited 1 time in total

Lady Godiva

Tue, Jul 29 2014, 12:40 pm

A check.

Most people I know give checks as wedding gifts for any marriage. If it's a second marriage, the couple probably has almost everything they need. Money is always nice to give.

amother

Tue, Jul 29 2014, 1:41 pm

do most ppl keep their pots/dishes from a first marriage to use in the future for a 2nd marriage? seems a little strange to me since it would make me think that every time using the stuff would make them think of their broken marriage?

suzyq

Tue, Jul 29 2014, 1:45 pm

amother wrote:

I'm not in a second marriage, but I can't imagine that a person would get rid of every possession they own because it might remind them of their first marriage. Maybe something that was a gift from your former spouse, but pots and dishes?

Tablepoetry

Tue, Jul 29 2014, 2:12 pm

I would never give a plaque for a front door. That's so personal. What if she doesn't like it? It's not like she can put it in a more discreet location.
You can give cheques. If you want to get personal, then nice dishes or the like. The quilt idea above is lovely. All of these are personal, but don't require her to display what you chose on her front door.
Artwork is nice too, IF you know her general taste and if it is the type of thing that can be placed anywhere.
A few gorgeous picture frames maybe?
Anyway, if it's taste dependent, an exchange receipt is always good.

Frumdoc

Tue, Jul 29 2014, 3:03 pm

It is very individual, some people would want the same as for a first marriage, ie household goods, some money, some other stuff like sponsoring a tzedaka drive or donating to their favorite cause.

I have one friend who recently remarried, who had got rid of all her previous stuff so wanted to set up home again, another who had lived many years as single, and had everything she wanted, so asked for donations to her gemach or a tzedakah in their name.

Best thing to do is ask.