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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
Leaving a baby alone
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 27 2006, 4:56 pm
Quote:
she said she needs to hurry because she left the baby sleeping at home, so could she not have to wait. The Mikva lady was very agreeale to all this, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.



shock THis is so sad. It is neglect and plain stupid to leave a baby home or on the car alone for any amount of time. Its really unfortunate that nothing is done when ppl are aware of the fact that a baby is home alone. that mikvah lady should do something shock Is it really normal in that community to do such a thing???
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carrot




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 27 2006, 5:04 pm
These conversations always make me think of that story in Yom Tov Ehrlich's song, which Avraham Fried sings in Yiddish Gems, about the Rebbe who was not in shul because he was comforting the baby of a mother who was in Shul.

I would imagine that in many times and places it was quite normal to leave babies alone when necessary.

If the baby is in a safe place, and someone checks on the baby every so often, what is the difference? Many people's houses are so big nowadays that the baby is basically alone even if someone is in the house with them, it is the same as if you leave a baby in an apartment and the neighbor checks in now and then. Now yell at me if you will, but I am trying to understand this.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 27 2006, 5:14 pm
I often hear of children left alone an evening or a night, sometimes also of babies (not only among frum or among Jews) especially when they sleep. I think I would worry too much though.
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 27 2006, 10:32 pm
Quote:
I would imagine that in many times and places it was quite normal to leave babies alone when necessary.

If the baby is in a safe place, and someone checks on the baby every so often, what is the difference? Many people's houses are so big nowadays that the baby is basically alone even if someone is in the house with them, it is the same as if you leave a baby in an apartment and the neighbor checks in now and then. Now yell at me if you will, but I am trying to understand this.


I am sorry but it is totally wrong. mothers who care enough about thier children and live in big houses have moniters so they can HEAR when the baby cries. a baby shoud NEVER be home alone. I live in an apartment building. I would NEVER leave my baby home alone even if someone was going to check on her every once in a while. I just dont understand how a mother can leave a baby with supervision the whole time, or at least SOMEONE in the house! shock
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 27 2006, 10:33 pm
Quote:
I think I would worry too much though.


thats a good thing! shows u will iyh be a responsible mother and NEVER leave your baby alone!
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BeershevaBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 27 2006, 11:30 pm
Leaving the baby alone, in an empty house or apartment is ILLEGAL.
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mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 27 2006, 11:57 pm
Kmelion wrote:
Leaving the baby alone, in an empty house or apartment is ILLEGAL.


for sure, but we all know our babies best. some of my babies were such regular sleepers that I felt comfortable talking to neighbors outside or playing in the garden during what I knew to be 2 hour naps-of course I'd still check every so often for noise

I've had a neighbor ask me to keep an eye on the house while she ran to do an 8 minute afternoon carpool - she was comfortable, I wasn't . I took my baby and sat on her porch with the door open

and then there was the mother who drove her dh to the train every morning at 5:30 and left one sleeping baby (near my sister's house)-we couldn't believe it-what if there was an accident, ch'v and she wasn't back in 20 minutes?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 10:50 am
Quote:
and then there was the mother who drove her dh to the train every morning at 5:30 and left one sleeping baby (near my sister's house)-we couldn't believe it-what if there was an accident, ch'v and she wasn't back in 20 minutes?


she could get arrested for that. he baby can be taken away. as sosmeone said it is illegal.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:01 pm
I sometimes leave my baby asleep safely in her crib, to do a 10 min. carpool. I use my cell to call my house phone and leave it on speakerphone, so I can hear through the cell anything going on in the house.
plus my neighbor is just downstairs if anything happens.

I dont like doing it but sometimes I have no choice.
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mimsy7420




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:04 pm
amother wrote:
I sometimes leave my baby asleep safely in her crib, to do a 10 min. carpool. I use my cell to call my house phone and leave it on speakerphone, so I can hear through the cell anything going on in the house.
plus my neighbor is just downstairs if anything happens.

I dont like doing it but sometimes I have no choice.


Are you crazy??????????????????????????
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:09 pm
why dont u have a choice? is there anyone u can pay to be there for those 10 minutes? can someone else to carpool? is there someone else who can pick your kids up...... if theres really nothing u can do, why dont u bring ure baby with. its alot safer
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:12 pm
It's 10 minutes!!!! Would you take a 10 minute shower while the baby's sleeping?!!?!?! Even if the baby wakes up after a few minutes--- don't tell me that your baby has never cried for a few minutes...
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:12 pm
I don't want to open my mouth, but what if C"V an accident happened to the Mother (not just stuck in traffic because an accident happened on the road), and C"V she has no way of calling anyone to let them know.... Chas V'shalom.....
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mimsy7420




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:16 pm
amother wrote:
It's 10 minutes!!!! Would you take a 10 minute shower while the baby's sleeping?!!?!?! Even if the baby wakes up after a few minutes--- don't tell me that your baby has never cried for a few minutes...


You can't leave your baby home alone for even 10 minutes. That's called neglect. What if G-d forbid soemthing happens while you are out? You could even be just a 5 minute drive away! But with babies 5 minutes could be the difference between life and death.

Everyone knows not to leave your little baby at home alone - what planet are you from that you are justifying being in your car somewhere as the same thing as being in a shower in the next room?
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MommyLuv




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:16 pm
only1 wrote:
amother wrote:
I sometimes leave my baby asleep safely in her crib, to do a 10 min. carpool. I use my cell to call my house phone and leave it on speakerphone, so I can hear through the cell anything going on in the house.
plus my neighbor is just downstairs if anything happens.

I dont like doing it but sometimes I have no choice.


Are you crazy??????????????????????????


Um, same question here.
Can you perhaps ask your neighbour to sit on your couch for ten minutes while you're out? It's just too risky.
what if an intruder breaks in or a fire starts G-d forbid and the baby is home alone?? Not to scare you, but these things happen.
shock shock shock shock
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:19 pm
taking a shower is diff. u can leave the door open so u can hear ure baby.... u would know if g-d forbid anything happened in your home AND there is no risk of being home late or g-d forbid someone breaking into ure home because u are THERE. as far as kids awake no, I would never take a shower with a baby awake who was able to crawl and walk. I always make sure to take a shower when my husband is home. (unless the baby is asleep and I try to be quick.
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:22 pm
I never took a shower with any of my kids up and around. always waited till my husband was home. it only takes a minute for something bad to happen cv
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 12:24 pm
amother wrote:
I sometimes leave my baby asleep safely in her crib, to do a 10 min. carpool. I use my cell to call my house phone and leave it on speakerphone, so I can hear through the cell anything going on in the house.
plus my neighbor is just downstairs if anything happens.

I dont like doing it but sometimes I have no choice.


Why in the world do people do this? It totally amazes me how people can leave their children ALONE! Just because a neighbor is close by, does not make this OK! How do you know she isn't tied up tending to the needs of her own children? What if she needs to step out for a few minutes? What if you get delayed doing the carpool...another parent or teacher stops to talk to you.
When we lived in an apartment, my neighbors would leave their key and baby monitor with me or others in the buliding while they went to the gym or a class. It never made any sense to me at all

What happens if you hear your baby wailing over your cell phone? You will, of course, be distracted, which will end up making you focus on why the baby is crying, rather than driving. That is not safe for the kids in your car

I know how hard it is to juggle the schedule of little one with that of school-aged children. When picking up kids from school became disruptive to my younger children, I found a few older girls to walk them home. I pay them each time they walk my kids.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 1:18 pm
first she has never woken up while I was out,
second when she wakes up she is used to playing quietly for 10 minutes anyway, so no fear of her wailing away.
third my neighbor is home all day with no kids.
fourth I can be home in under 2 minutes if she is crying.
fifth, whats the difference between being downstairs in the kitchen while your baby sleeps upstairs? and a neighbor being in her kitchen with my baby upstairs? its exactly the same distance and setup.
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mimsy7420




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 28 2006, 1:28 pm
I don't get why this is in the controversial topics section.

it's not even controversial - it's just plain dumb.
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