dream house or dream neighborhood/community?

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Dream house or dream neighborhood/community?

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yo'ma

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 10:56 am

Which would you prefer? Since I never really had either, I think I'd chose house.

MamaBear

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 11:01 am

The house can always be worked on/modified etc but the neighborhood/community, not so much. So I choose the latter as long as the house wasn't a total dump or money pit.

I've also never had either...

amother

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 11:11 am

If you are raising children - Neighborhood. Forget the house.

DH and I bought a small house in a fabulous neighborhood. I could sell and for the same money live in a much larger, nicer home farther out. But my kids, who are very social, have so many friends here. There's a constant trail of social buzz in and out of my home. On Shabbos, I barely see my kids until Seuda Shelishis. They are so happy and well adjusted, due to the wonderful social scene they are part of. Dh and I also have alot of friends - I can rest or I can find someone to shmooze with. I love it.

My sister, OTOH, couldn't see herself spending a fortune on a small home in a great neighborhood, when she could build a custom home on a gorgeous lot, further out. She went for the dream home. It's huge, with every amenity you could want - except for a social life. She told me that Shabbos is her worst day of the week, as her kids fight from morning to night, cooped up without distractions other than each other. They have no friends around. The community is not so much her type. Even putting in a 10K playground didn't help once they tired of it.

When her DD came for Shabbos, she was AMAZED at the fun my kids have here, and told her parents she wants to move. Her gorgeous home notwithstanding, she loves coming to our little cozy place and the good times.

Wait till your kids grow up for your dream home, if you must have it.

Rubber Ducky

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 11:18 am

Community. You can always remodel later.

Tamiri

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 11:26 am

Community.

amother

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 11:59 am

OP your topic is so timely for me. I can't believe how it's bashert for me to read this here.

I am deciding now between a dream house or a dump sort of in a great community with a more social setting. It's a major decision. But I think I will have to agree that you can always remodel a house but not a neighborhood.

Mimisinger

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 12:05 pm

You can live alone in a beautiful house, or have friends in a less beautiful house. Location, location, location.

As others said, esp. if you have kids, you should pick location - they need friends. But so do you

red sea

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 12:30 pm

Hands down, no hesitations, without a shadow of a doubt dream neighborhood/community!

amother

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 12:37 pm

Generally speaking, I would also say community, but I would compromise somewhat on community to have a better standard of living.

In the past, we have lived in communities that were a better fit for us, but we could only afford to rent or buy a very small apartment. Now we live in a community that is, at least in some ways, not as good for us, but we are able to afford a house. We prefer having this house over having the perfect community. It is the difference between squeezing 6-7 kids into a tiny two-bedroom apartment and barely making ends meet verses having a higher standard of living and being able to afford a large 4- or 5-bedroom home with a yard.

IloveHashem613

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 12:50 pm

I totally agree with everyone who said pick the dream community. I know for myself, even if I had the dream house, if I had no friends and was lonely, I'd be miserable. But if I had a lot going on for me socially in my neighborhood, I would be able to overlook a not as ideal living situation.

yo'ma

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 1:24 pm

amother wrote:

Wait till your kids grow up for your dream home, if you must have it.

My oldest is 13 and I'm not moving Sad

, just wondering.

sima

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 2:01 pm

I agree, community!!! I think for those of us with children it's so important. Now, I'm looking for such a place, so the the amother who loves her community. where are you, I desperately need a great community

amother

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 2:26 pm

We found the community we wanted to move to but there is a very small housing market there. Meaning a few secondhand homes and one project currently being built. We found a secondhand home we liked but it was a bit more expensive and further from the school and the younger families. The new project was in the younger part of the community and right by the school but they are townhouses on tiny lots. We ended up buying a townhouse. I know I made the right decision - it will be so much better for us and the kids, but I really do regret not getting the yard I always wanted. I hope I will be able to get over this soon (haven't moved in yet) and won't live there the rest of my life with this regret.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 3:05 pm

100% community.
We lived in two communities that we completely did not like before we picked where we live now. We live in a rented house that is falling apart and not so great all around, but we absolutely love the community where we live.

Yes, a home is definitely important, you dont want to hate the home you live in, but to love the community that you live in, to me, is so much more important.

flowerpower

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 3:06 pm

Community for sure!

nylon

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 10:32 pm

Community, with a caveat: If everyone is living in small homes, that's fine. But if you're reaching to buy the smallest home in the neighborhood, think twice. It's not always fun to be the poorest people in the neighborhood.

33055

Mon, Feb 27 2012, 11:12 pm

Location, location location.

eschaya

Tue, Feb 28 2012, 12:43 am

community. no question

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