Riva Pomerantz - Diamond Dust

wereafamily

Mon, Mar 05 2012, 3:48 pm

Thank you Riva for finely bringing up a topic I so badly wanted to see, for so long!

Why after a few month being married, did I think I "should" be pregnant, I don't know. Why my mother a year after I got married started worrying why I am not pregnant, I also don't know. But I do know that it has become the given that after a few month not conceiving, your different, your not part of the norm.

Now a 1.5 year married and b'H pregnant I laugh at all the wasted tears, but at that time I remember being so hurt, in so much pain, watching everyone conceive, but me. Who cares if half my friend conceived right away, now I thinking poor them but then I was so angry, why not me. I knew I was living a rat race, who will conceive first. I knew I wanted more to have a child simple because everyone had, but what can I do that I am living in a society where they blink twice if your not wearing maternity after six month...

Riva, please don't mention this important point and forget about it in the next chapter, you have a chance to bring up an important point - take advantage. Oh, and it doesn't need to end that she needed infertility treatments not everyone that doesn't conceives right away, needs to go through that painful journey - but you can consider writing about infertility for your next story - for some reason its not mentioned very often in Jewish Magazines!

Thanks again!!

Last edited by wereafamily on Mon, Mar 05 2012, 8:35 pm; edited 1 time in total

PinkFridge

Mon, Mar 05 2012, 4:59 pm

Oy, I feel for you.
When I got married my sister told me that my father would start nudging/advising if a year went by and I wasn't pregnant. (Had my mother been alive I'm SURE she wouldn't have.) She told me not to even think of worrying till at least the second anniversary and even then, it wasn't a matter for worrying, but maybe starting to investigate.

Dev80

Tue, Mar 06 2012, 7:06 am

I don't get mishpacha every week but I happened to this week and I really felt exactly what you're saying wereafamily. I also didn't get pregnant right away whereas siblings and friends did, and I also was so worried and cried so much and felt slightly resentful of people who got married after me but conceived before me , but you know what b"H I really felt that Hashem gave dh and I a bracha that we got that year and a half together before the baby came.

Riva, thank you for bringing that out in the open in such a natural way. It's okay not to get pregnant right away!!!

bashinda

Tue, Mar 13 2012, 10:26 am

Funny. I'm focussed on "the girl" (hello, isn't it obvious the unnamed girl is Yalli as a child?) and on her being the least popular kid in her class. It's bringing up a lot of pain for me. It's not really Riva Pomerantz's fault, but ouch. It sort of makes sense, if I'm right, that she grows up wanting so much to be accepted, the rich life is the sure way to have everyone liking and accepting her. It's not how I handled the situation but it's plausible.

bashinda

Tue, Mar 13 2012, 11:59 am

PinkFridge wrote:

I thought the unnamed child was the mother - forgot her name - of that divorced boy that I'm waiting for Yalli to be set up with. And marry. And live happily ever after. The end. Week 52.

Okay I agree that it seems to be a little obvious that those two should get married or at least date at some point. Why would the girl be the mother of that boy though? I was figuring it had to be central character, and it would answer why Yalli is wanting a lifestyle that is so unlike her family's. Also in one of the early segments someone sees Yalli (in sem, IIRC) and comments on how she could barely recognize her. To me the obvious answer was because Yalli had made a dramatic turnaround in her life once she had finally unshackled herself from her old school and classmates and she could shed her baggage (or fool herself into thinking she's shed her baggage.) To me, she could be nobody other than Yalli. I guess we'll find out the truth eventually, and I could be steered wrong by my own personal history.

onlyme

Tue, Mar 13 2012, 12:13 pm

bashinda wrote:

PinkFridge wrote:

I thought the unnamed child was the mother - forgot her name - of that divorced boy that I'm waiting for Yalli to be set up with. And marry. And live happily ever after. The end. Week 52.

I also thought it was Yalli, based on how she reacted when the boy she was dating spoke about bullying.
I guess we'll have to wait and see.

joy613

Tue, Mar 13 2012, 12:15 pm

bashinda wrote:

PinkFridge wrote:

I thought the unnamed child was the mother - forgot her name - of that divorced boy that I'm waiting for Yalli to be set up with. And marry. And live happily ever after. The end. Week 52.

I think the same, it seems obvious.
I'm sorry for your experiences.

seeker

Tue, Mar 13 2012, 12:51 pm

onlyme wrote:

bashinda wrote:

PinkFridge wrote:

I thought the unnamed child was the mother - forgot her name - of that divorced boy that I'm waiting for Yalli to be set up with. And marry. And live happily ever after. The end. Week 52.

I also thought it was Yalli, based on how she reacted when the boy she was dating spoke about bullying.
I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Yeah, that. Especially the part where she froze up when he mentioned bullying. That was really not subtle.

sarahd

Tue, Mar 13 2012, 5:28 pm

Was there a question that the bullied girl is Yalli? I thought it was said straight out somewhere in the beginning. It never occurred to me that there was any mystery about it. Why else would she be so obssessed with dressing well and marrying money?

seeker

Tue, Mar 13 2012, 6:45 pm

No, in the beginning it was especially mysterious. She is always referred to as "the girl" or something. I could think of lots of other reasons for being obsessed with dressing well and marrying money, some people just ARE that way. I think it can totally be a personality thing. I know kids from families that were not materialistic yet lacked nothing, and still some of the kids are simple and some are all into trends and fashion and stuff. It's just their personal sense of aesthetics combined with a personality that wants to fit in with the upper crust.