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Forum -> Working Women
Trying to be perfect and upset at myself when I'm not



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Chaya123




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 01 2006, 8:24 am
It's so hard to juggle everything- motherhood, work, being a good wife B"H etc. Then I try to do everthing to perfection and get upset at myself when one loses out bec of the next. For example, if I take too much work off bec my baby needs me, I get upset that I'm not perfect at work. But otherwise, I would feel like my baby is losing out and I'm not a good mother. I feel like whatever I do, it won't be perfect and someone or something will lose out. Of course my baby comes first but then again, ppl tell me not to be such an overprotective first time mother etc. It's so hard to know what to do!
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amother


 

Post Fri, Dec 01 2006, 9:07 am
I hear ya... I know the feeling. What helps me tremendously is to have a mashpia. I speak with her and she helps isolate my "true avodah" in each situation. She helps me understand now only what it is my avodah to do, but also what it's my avodah davka NOT to do... For example, it's a huge mitzvah to make a huge Shabbos and have lots of guests... but when you first give birth, for example, you shouldn't be doing that. In this case, it's your avodah davka to refrain from that particular mitzvah, and therein lies your avodah and your mitzvah. Am I making any sense?
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MommyLuv




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 01 2006, 9:34 am
take the word "perfect" out of your vocabulary.

It's a horrible word!!!

NOBODY can do it all. Just try to do your best and let the less important things slide when you're stressed.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 01 2006, 9:39 am
Choose your battles. Decide which things need to be perfect and others are "good enough".
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