Why was the "Rebbi /abuse" problem covered up so

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2006, 10:41 am

With hundreds of people fighting w/o result, to expose the different perps, and nebach new victims in the making every day with the perps free, how and why did it get swept under the rug so long?

daffymom

Thu, Dec 07 2006, 11:14 am

many people come up with "its lashon hara" and "innocent until PROVEN guilty".
unfortunately, I know someone very well who was molested. usually the molesters "choose" a boy who doesn't have natural high self esteem or comes from a broken/interesting family background and won't be able to stand up for themselvs.
many times these boys won't even come out with it until they're adults and by then its too late, plus why unbury things...
and when it comes to beleiving an "adult" versus a "child" who comes from a broken home, lots of "excuses" can be given (looking for attention comes first...)
also people are scared to say things because their kids can and will be kicked out of schools (like my husband's chavrusa's cousin).
shidduchim also is a problem - people are scared (and rightfully so) to marry someone who was molested...
and as has been pointed out in the media many times recently - boys who were molested will grow up and probably molest others...

its a terrible terrible sickness and a vicious circle.

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2006, 11:26 am

daffymom wrote:

and when it comes to beleiving an "adult" versus a "child" who comes from a broken home, lots of "excuses" can be given (looking for attention comes first...)

But when a principal is faced by many parents with the same story about one specific Rebbi, , why would the principal fight to hold on to this Rebbe?

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2006, 11:32 am

happymom wrote:

thats obviously NOT a very good principal! I sure hope parents are taking thier kids out of that school shock

Not in this case, this school had a list, people had a hard time getting their kids in. Only the ones with the negative experience were aware of what was going on and they were threatened about telling others.

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2006, 11:56 am

You know - I was molested by someone - in a foster home - where this man was a "rebbi" in a school. When I became an adult (married w/children) I was more articulate in being able to let him know he was wrong and I know - cause I didn't forget. He brushed it off - his wife found out - and they threw me away out of the family circle as if I did something wrong to them. I always wondered whether or not he did same to grandchildren or kids in school or anyone else. How could he go under this guise.

amother

Thu, Dec 07 2006, 12:07 pm

Today's Nachum Segal morning program discusses this topic. He says pedophilia is never cured. You can hear it on Nachumsegal.com if you search Mandel. It's about two hours after the start of the program.