Happiness is a choice

Tzutzie

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 5:09 pm

I have an uncle he's (till the 120) closer to 100 years of age than he is to 90. Every time I see him or think about him I just feel lucky to have him. He has taught me such a great lesson, it's invaluable.

His late wife (may she rest in peace) was a really good person. she had lost everything in the war including her fertility, (she was one of the guinea pigs used for experiments in Auschwitz). My uncle (my grandmother's sister's husband) has NO family, NO kids, NO wife, NO money, NO eyesight (is almost completely blind - old age macular degeneration), and hard of hearing and yet, he's as happy as can be. its a pleasure to visit him. young kids and adults. its just a pleasure to be around him... we all love him and are truly honored when he chooses to stay with out family for yomtov (he has a lot of nieces from his wife's side - we are his family).
once my sister asked him "how can you be so happy?" he answered "how can I not be?" I've got everything I need."

I was reading the thread about BO and the someone said that after 10 if the wife can't bear children a man should divorce his wife and remarry in order to have children. and I reminded myself from him.

I learned from a real life example that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE!

just thought I'd put it out there....

Aylat

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 5:56 pm

Thanks for this.

Was thinking about happiness and sadness in life recently.

It seemed to me that there are so many ways to be unhappy - relationships issues, bad health, no money, difficulties with kids etc etc etc - and not so many ways to be happpy. But then my DH gave me a different perspective. Mictav M'eliyahu says that simcha is an avoda, it takes work to be happy. The default is unhappiness: poor people wish they had a comfortable lifestyle, middle-class people wish they had more luxury, and rich people always want more. I think that unless someone works on themselves they end up unhappy - they see whatever is lacking (and you can always find something lacking - eg lots of money = lack of simplicity). Only someone who works on themselves to accept what Hashem gives them will be happy. And that is a truly difficult thing to do. But not connected at all with life circumstances.

(hope that made sense? I'm pretty tired, and still mulling the idea over)

amother

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 6:24 pm

I was thinking about posting about this-
How does one turn thought into emotion? I can think of a million reasons why I should be happy. Yes, I have challenges but overall I am very grateful for all the good things in my life. But some days (read: usually) I just don't feel it. I used to be such a happy go lucky person, but I'm just SO TIRED. I don't mind housework, I love taking care of my kids, I'm grateful for the job I have but I find I'm still snappy at DH and I just don't feel happy. I try verbalizing good things, I think positive thoughts, but how can I feel it?
Any suggestions?

Aylat

Mon, Apr 30 2012, 6:35 pm

amother wrote:

Do you feel fulfilled? Do you have time for yourself - things you enjoy doing, personal goals, not just things for your family? Fun? Wink

Also, get some more sleep if you can. Fatigue always makes me see things in gray.