Roll playing

Silver Member Joined: Dec 17 2011 Posts: 594

When my kids come home from school or a friend's house and complain that someone wasn't nice, I try to roll play to help them avoid the situation the next time.

Ex: I taught them that if someone calls you something insulting, you can answer "if you say so"

How would you roll-play a situation where a child won't play by fair rules? I've taught dd to just say "I don't want to play with you". But then she finds herself excluded.

Or how would you respont to: no you're not next in line, I saved spots for my ten friends, and they're all ahead of you.". This happens to dd a lot when she's lined up for the school bus, and there's no teacher watching carefully

Silver Member Joined: Dec 17 2011 Posts: 594

No one has any experience with social skills training?

Gold Member Joined: Jun 29 2010 Posts: 2003

I don't know, but your title remind me of amelia bedilia " calling the roll". You mean role playing. Very Happy

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Posted: Sun, Apr 29 2012, 9:39 pm Post subject: re: roll playing

It sounds like your daughter is shy. She could use your help in making friends. Invite girls over to your house . Do something fun together. Bake, polish nails , board games, nice snack. When your daughter feels better @ having friends she will project a better image and the other children will be less inclined to pick on her.

Silver Member Joined: Dec 17 2011 Posts: 594

I don't think she's shy, but she does get awkward when she's not sure what to do. I'm wondering specifically how to help her respond to the above two scenarios, as they've both happened more than once in the past week or so.

As far as amelia bedilia, that's pretty funny? I was never good at spelling. Any way to change my title on mobile?

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

Can you explain a little more about the situation? Because at first I was under the impression that there was just one child breaking the rules, but then you say your DD is "excluded" if she chooses not to play with them. Does that mean all or many of the girls in her peer group are not playing fair? How unfair is it?

It sounds more like assertiveness than shyness. I agree with you that role playing is a good tool for this. If you share more about the situation maybe we can come up with something.

Silver Member Joined: Dec 17 2011 Posts: 594

There are a few very strong personalities in her class who happen to live in the neighborhood who will often bend the rules so that they won't be "out", or that she is "out", even if they did the same thing and they aren't. I encourage her to just walk away from those who can't play fair, but she doesn't want to be excluded, she just wants to know how to stand up for herself.

She's also not sure what to do in the second case, where girls will allow others to go before her in line, saying "I saved all these spots for my friends".

For those who were strong personalities in grade school, how would you deal?

Posted: Mon, Apr 30 2012, 11:31 am Post subject: re: roll playing

How about have her say "There is no saving places, but you can move behind me if you want to stand with them".
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Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

If this is happening in school, it sounds like it's time to involve the teacher. It sounds an awful lot like bullying when a whole group of kids is "bending the rules" so the kids in the "in" group are always winning and the kid they want to exclude is out. I would not expect a little girl to be able to succeed against a whole gang of sneaks like that.