How to get my 2 yr old to listen?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 1:45 am

My 2 year old is in general a good kid. One issue I have with him is that we come home he refuses to come up the stairs. He will run away from me or find something interested to play with. I tried leaving him alone, I tried counting till three...etc... Nothing helps it can take sometimes an 1/2 hour till I get so upset and have to schlep him up all the stairs and he throws a huge tantrum. Any effective way to do this? This is my first so any advice for experienced Mamas would be greatly appreciated. TIA

amother

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 5:15 am

sounds like getting my 3yo home eavh day. awaiting responses!

chani8

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 5:47 am

You have to focus on him, give him a smile and make eye contact, tell him what you two are going to do, then take him by the hand, speak nice encouraging words, like, we're going home now, and make him go up the stairs with you, even if you are half carrying him (not dragging!), and everytime he takes a step on his own, praise him. You might validate that he's probably really tired and finds those stairs very difficult, but that it's hard for mommy too, and you two need to work together. B'yachad.

(And keep in mind, two is very young! He's just a baby!!) In our home of many teens, a two year old wouldn't even have to walk up steps, they'd be carried up like a prince/ss!!

cinnamon

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 6:01 am

You can try givving him a drink and/or a snak on the way home so that he isn't so tird and also busy while going up the stairs. You can try counting them as you go up to make it more intersting or telling him a story to distract him.

MaBelleVie

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 9:01 am

Bribe him. "Mommy has something special for you! Come see what it is!" And it better be decent, or they won't fall for it the next day.

ewa-jo

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 9:07 am

Ignore his behavior.

Pick him up like a sack of potatoes and take him up the stairs. There's no reason why he gets to delay your plans and make you fuss over him.

Walking up the stairs is such a basic basic thing.... you shouldn't have to bribe him/cajole him/threten him. You just do it.

Pick him up like a sack of potatoes and ignore his crying or squirming. Or grab his arm and drag him up the stairs. You're not meant to hurt him, but to get him upstairs. If he protests, tell him that there is no option about going up... and that either he will do it or you will do it for him.

granolamom

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 4:46 pm

here's what I do with my two yo, I tell her the expectation...when we get home we are going up the stairs right away together. you can go up yourself or Mommy will carry you.
then when we get home I tell her, do you want to go up yourself or do you want mommy to carry you? if she goes, she goes alone. if not, I just pick her up and carry her in and ignore the tantrum. usually this sort of thing will happen two or three times and then she gets with the program and will come when expected.

moe770

Sun, Jun 03 2012, 11:33 pm

you can try this one:

child freaking out..
mommy: (kneel on floor so you can be at his height and focus on him) "you REALLY don't want to go up those steps!" (emphatically, with sympathy.) You REALLY don't like those hundred billion steps!
Mommy: I WISH you didn't have to go up those steps, I wish we had an elevator right here! (pretend to press button) and then we could just ZOOM up.
(at this point really try not to use the word BUT- it kind of cancels out the sympathy you showed until now)

Mommy: do you want to hop up the steps or do you want to crawl up the steps? (or another set of options that are both ok)

If he's still shlepping, you can just say, "well shmerl, we need to go upstairs now." and proceed to shlep, all the while sympathizing and expressing your wishes about an elevator, or of having no steps, or of having a slide that went into your house instead of steps.

(I just read HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL LISTEN and found it to be tremendously helpful with talking to my 2 year old, and also helping me express self without losing it, even in times of stress)

Merrymom

Mon, Jun 04 2012, 12:00 am

If you have a very stubborn and active child, just forget it. There's only two ways, either carrying your child kicking and screaming, or bribing with ice cream, nash, or whatever it takes. The good thing is that this is no indication of how your child will eventually turn out. My daughter was like this, I couldn't go shopping or even walk across the parking lot with her without using one of those two methods. When I went to a doctor's office I was sure the staff were clapping their hands when I left, and it's not like I didn't try. It was hopeless and I'm not an inexperienced mother. Today she's wonderful however B"H.

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