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Why women can't have it all- Great article!



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cbt




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2012, 2:28 am
http://www.theatlantic.com/mag.....9020/
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ellie23




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2012, 8:25 am
wow! I didnt have time to read the whole thing but as I read I was thinking FINALLY.there is somuch pressure on women today to do it all, while an article like this wont correct that, it is certainly taking a step in the right direction. America needs to value family a whole lot more than they currently do, and in turn, they need to value mothers and fathers- a healthy family unit does wonders for a community and a nation.
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2012, 2:28 pm
I just finished reading Charles Murray's Coming Apart, which makes a fascinating companion piece to this article.

In a nutshell, our elite have rejected the positive valuation of family and parenting, and dissenters are to be punished.

I particularly loved Slaughter's descriptions of the discomfort she caused among colleagues by being open about her role as a mother. In the elite Bobo world (bohemian bourgeoisie -- a term coined by author David Brooks and used in Murray's analysis) and in its predecessor, the Yuppie culture, you can be openly gay; espouse any sort of political viewpoint; pursue whatever quirky hobby catches your fancy . . . but "coming out" as a parent requires a tremendous display of bravery and rebellion.

The yeshivish circles with which I'm most familiar offer both the better and the worse. On one hand, there is virtually no pressure for women to aspire to the most public, most demanding roles in society. On the other hand, there is tremendous pressure for women to work -- and earn significant salaries -- in order to subsidize their husbands' learning and later, the costs associated with a large family.

It often seems to me that the feminist movement as a whole paid too high a price. In order to receive a few scraps of equity, we agreed to denounce and give up anything unique to women.

I once heard a well-known rav denounce the feminist movement, and his speech took a left turn that surprised his audience. After describing some of the negative effects brought about by the second feminist movement, he explained that feminism was a predictable result of men's arrogance and bad behavior, both in the non-Jewish and Jewish worlds. If our societies properly appreciated the contributions of women, he claimed, we would not have discriminated against them so blatantly, we would not have infantilized them, and we would have been more sensitive to their problems and concerns. What started out as a speech against feminism ended by excoriating the actions of men.

Anyway, thanks for sharing this article!
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OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2012, 2:44 pm
Fox wrote:
In the elite Bobo world (bohemian bourgeoisie -- a term coined by author David Brooks and used in Murray's analysis) and in its predecessor, the Yuppie culture, you can be openly gay; espouse any sort of political viewpoint; pursue whatever quirky hobby catches your fancy . . . but "coming out" as a parent requires a tremendous display of bravery and rebellion.
What do you mean "coming out as a parent"? If you mean talking about kids, sharing baby pictures, telling cute kid stories, posting on facebook and so on, "elite bobo's" (I don't buy into Brooks' ideas, but I will use his term since I know who he refers to) do that all the time, and they receive plenty of affirmation from their elite bobo friends.

If you mean running around passively aggressively lecturing career-oriented mothers on how glad you are to have scaled back because it's truly not possible to parent adequately while having the career that you did (and implicitly the career they currently do), then yes, you will get negative reactions. Shocking, I know.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2012, 2:48 pm
it seems she is talking about women in politics, mainly, or at the very top of the business world. She said she had no problem juggling her roles as a high powered academic.

Its the travelling that kills family life.
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2012, 2:56 pm
OOTforlife wrote:
What do you mean "coming out as a parent"?


I was referring to her descriptions of how uncomfortable people were in mentioning her sons when introducing her at speaking engagements or her female colleagues lecturing her on downplaying references to her family.

So, yes, I think it's primarily a work-related thing, and I don't think it's much different for men. Of course, it was much, much worse during the Yuppie years! But truthfully, even the moderately ambitious young women I know are not posting endless baby updates on Facebook, etc. At least in my experience, those tend to be the women who have completely opted out of demanding careers.
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