babies crying at speech

suomynona

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 5:53 am

I went to a women's event last night with a few speakers. There was a huge turnout. There were at least 2 people there with babies who were crying for a large part of the night. The babies' mothers didn't budge from their places. It made me so upset.
I can't begin to imagine what these mothers are thinking. What is their right to come hear the speakers at 1000 ladies' expense? I am sure most of the other women in the audience left children at home, and the ones that couldn't, didn't come.
And even if someone thinks their baby will behave the whole time, I would think they would leave the auditorium as soon as the baby starts making noise.
I can't find any way to judge these people favorable.
Does anyone see their point of view and can explain it to me?

shoy18

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 8:27 am

Its completely unacceptable, we've had this discussion about bringing babies to weddings, I don't agree with that either but I can see how a woman could bring their baby because most of the time being quiet isn't necessary. A speech on the other hand you must keep quiet the entire time.

suomynona

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 10:19 am

shininglight wrote:

I was going to go to that and then didn't ... were you able to hear what was said even w/the crying babies? Can you tell me what went on in the speeches, etc?

Yes I was able to hear, it was just annoying and distracting.
I'm not good at remembering speeches, but I'll try.
First a Rav Rubinstein spoke - basically about how not to be a michshol for men, and we should listen to the gedolim's standards of tznius, not our personal standards or even some rebetzin.
Then Rebetzin Blimie Birnbaum spoke. Basically about how people follow the crowds and styles without even thinking.
Then there was a film with short pieces from the men's event on motzei shabbos. But I couldn't see or understand any of that.
Then R' mattisyahu salamon spoke. It was very late then so I had a hard time concentrating, but something about the event being like getting the torah at Har Sinai.

suomynona

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 10:21 am

shoy18 wrote:

I don't see any problem with bringing babies to weddings, so it's really a separate issue.
Of course, if the baby cries in middle of the chupah, that's another story.

ChavieK

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 3:41 pm

I have gone to weddings & either I or dh had to keep baby outside for the chuppah.That said ,why would I bother going to a speech with baby who may cry? I would end up outside anyway. That's where that mother should have been.

timeout

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 4:20 pm

For a mother to say it's mroe important to hear a speech from a Gadol than to stay home with your child to me is being selfish. If you feel you have to get out and want to go to an event either get a sitter DH, Sister relative or real sitter or don't go!

I've had man many such occasions that I would have liked to go somewhere and had a baby at home and that's where I had to stay.

jewgal84

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 4:25 pm

timeout wrote:

Totally agree!!

* * * * *

I understand if maybe the baby was sleeping and didn't distract anyone, why a mother would bring her baby along, yet...

I can't seem to find a reason why she wouldn't even budge and try to leave the room for the respect of others...

amother

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 5:51 pm

Our community encourages large families but I often see that they do not put in place structures that assist mothers. For example, all chabad houses have women's classes with free babysitting, why is that not offered to frum women as well at shiurs that we would like to attend. Why should we have to stay home. Movie theatres offer mommy and me showings...(in which mothers can bring infants). I agree those women should have taken their babies out of the room but why do we make it so difficult on ourselves to be mothers. As for weddings, I actually asked all my friends to make sure to bring their children and babies. We had babysitters available and goddie bags for the children...let's celebrate the fact that we have children...and help each other make it easier.

greenfire

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 8:15 pm

I think there is a stage where babies are quiet and we should know if they are quiet babies or criers. There is no mitzva in dragging a crying baby to a shiur - especially one so large. They have mommy & baby classes during day in some places to accommodate this type of need.

Now I will end with a story: At one such home shiur w/baby in tow - there was a crying baby and I felt bad for baby - then someone pointed out it was mine embarrassed

- I was obviously out of it that day.

jewgal84

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 9:50 pm

Quote:

Now I will end with a story: At one such home shiur w/baby in tow - there was a crying baby and I felt bad for baby - then someone pointed out it was mine - I was obviously out of it that day.

ROTFLMAO!!!!

anon

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 10:03 pm

suomynona wrote:

shoy18 wrote:

I don't see any problem with bringing babies to weddings, so it's really a separate issue.
Of course, if the baby cries in middle of the chupah, that's another story.

I wouldn't bring a small baby to a wedding because the music is too loud for their tiny ears.

queen

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 10:58 pm

I'm hosting a series of shiurim in my home and any mother's who called asking if they could bring their babies- I said that I was sending mine out to a babysitter during that time, and that I thought that would be the best for them as well, if possible.

It happens to be that it's for a large crowd, and we've set it up in our dining room. There wont be room for toddlers to walk around or for ladies sitting next to strollers.

The shiur is in the morning, so maybe it's not so nice of me--- however on the other hand, I feel it will be more enjoyable and better for everyone w/o interuptions. (besides the lack of room)

mimsy7420

Tue, Jan 02 2007, 11:44 am

anon wrote:

suomynona wrote:

shoy18 wrote:

I don't see any problem with bringing babies to weddings, so it's really a separate issue.
Of course, if the baby cries in middle of the chupah, that's another story.

I wouldn't bring a small baby to a wedding because the music is too loud for their tiny ears.

I totally agree.

TzenaRena

Tue, Jan 02 2007, 1:13 pm

suomynona wrote:

I can't find any way to judge these people favorable.
Does anyone see their point of view and can explain it to me?

When my kids were babies, my husband had the kind of schedule that I could go out in the evening to a shiur, not often, but to major events, gatherings.

Then his schedule changed, and he wasn't home during the early-mid evening hours. I started missing all those gatherings, and davka those nights you can't get babysitters, because they also are attending! Taking a babysitter is also something you have to afford....

So, when I missed those events, I would tell myself that my Avodah is to be home with my children, and BH for that, and that I'm not a less devoted chassidiste for that.... BUT I've come to the conclusion over the years that that can happen too! Women need the charge, the energy that comes from attending events of hisorerus together, it gives them the ability to inculcate these values in their families.

There's a time that staying home takes priority, but that time is not forever. If it is, there could be a disconnect. Something I thought could never happen to me, but....

Just something to help understand....

Tefila

Tue, Jan 02 2007, 1:18 pm

Quote:

Now I will end with a story: At one such home shiur w/baby in tow - there was a crying baby and I felt bad for baby - then someone pointed out it was mine - I was obviously out of it that day

RIOT