Always catches something from cousins!

amother

Wed, Sep 19 2012, 1:26 am

I have begun to notice that every time we get together with one of my siblings, DD comes home with a new bug. She almost never gets sick otherwise, in large part probably due to lack of exposure since she's our only child and not in school yet. And she must have a pretty decent immune system; she LOVES fruits and vegetables so I wouldn't even bother to supplement with vitamins or anything because her diet is so rich. But also, we're clean people, whereas hygiene is not as high on this sibling's priority list apparently. Besides for having a whole bunch of kids to pick up germs in school and pass them around, they don't do much hand washing, they either don't cover their mouths when they cough or they cough into an open palm which then touches toys/people (eeeewww!), they'll all share towels/eating utensils/etc, and generally they are all over each other much more than I consider normal (e.g. lots of hugging, picking up babies, very hands-on - the bigger kids kept trying to tell the baby to hug my DD, she was not interested and his nose was running all over and I kept trying to discourage it but they kept at it...) So when we're all at my parents' house together for yomtov, I think I do a pretty good job trying to keep their hands out of DD's face, keep sippy cups separate, etc, but there's not really anything to do about sharing toys and playing together. I mean, sharing toys and playing together is quite desired actually when getting together with cousins you only see a few times a year, it's wonderful that they get along.

But sure enough, yomtov is just barely over and already DD is sniffling and coughing and crying half the night. Last time it was a nasty cold that didn't go away for 2 weeks and turned into a sinus infection. The time before that was a yucky virus with a high fever. And most of those encounters didn't even involve spending two days staying in the same house. And we'll be spending another yomtov with the same people pretty soon. AAAARGH.

I'm even more worried because we're expecting #2 soon. When DD was a newborn I just sort of kept her away from them, especially anyone who was either known to be sick (that's another thing; they'll totally bring a sick kid over to visit without even warning you. If my kid was running a fever, I'd have the courtesy to keep them home! Or if that's not an option, you at least tell the other people who will be around so they can take extra precautions. But half the time it will come out AFTER spending two days together I'll suddenly notice antibiotics in the fridge and only after I ask I get "Oh yeah Shmerel had strep on Friday and we think Esty has it now too.") But anyway, when she was a little baby I would just protect her, I'd wear her in a wrap as much as I could and tell anyone germy looking to wash up before playing with her... but now that she's a big kid and she goes around playing with everything and everyone and catching their germs, she'll bring them home herself to pass to the newborn! What am I going to do?! Have a toddler AND a newborn be sick for the next two weeks every time we see the family?!

Help!

freidasima

Wed, Sep 19 2012, 8:21 am

And some kids no matter how much you build them up, just don't have the greatest immune systems and tend towards colds and stuff. Some kids have allergies or asthma or other sensitivities. I would also go nuts when friends would bring over kids with fever and illnesses. I remember once a friend with two kids with chicken pox just brought them over and announced "good that your kids get it too". Well huh?! One of my kids at that time had all sorts of health issues and when she came down with chicken pox unlike the older ones, she suffered for a month in bed and I was the one who had to take off from work and get docked a month's pay at that time because I had no more sick leave to use. Sure, good that kids get over childhood illnesses but the timing should have been mine if it was by choice, not that other mother.

In any case it's a real problem and apart from trying to teach the rest of the family basic hygiene, there isn't much you can do but keep up her immune system. Try to keep her away from sugars and white flour for the time she is near them, I have found that those break down the immuine system greatly for both adults and kids.

amother

Wed, Sep 19 2012, 11:28 am

Thanks for the suggestions, I guess I'll try saline drops or spray, can I assume this is something I'll find on a regular shelf in a regular pharmacy? I think I was sort of fantasizing that someone would have a magic way to make a family of 8 suddenly start adopting hygienic habits and stop smearing their gunk all over my kids... I am not a clean freak but I believe in things like washing hands after bathroom/before meals, coughing into your elbow, and keeping kids with fevers/vomiting/whatever away from other kids for a couple of days. I also believe in personal space, I give my kid plenty of cuddles and kisses but this is different, hard to explain - let's just say that when I see 2 y/o DD play with other kids her age without excessive interference they are not all over each other, they pass toys back and forth, look at things together, but I have never seen her or the others go hugging each other like these kids are always looking for.

I guess mainly I'm venting here, because I don't imagine there's much I can change here. On one hand these people gross me out big time, but on the other hand they're pretty much the only relatives we have in our city and I do value keeping up family relationships...

MaBelleVie

Wed, Sep 19 2012, 3:36 pm

Yes, you can pick up saline for a couple of dollars at any drug store. I can completely relate. I have had the experience of finding out two days into a chag that one of the cousins probably is sick, oh yeah, the dr really said we should start antibiotics. Or another kid will be constantly sticking my kids pacis and sippy cups in her mouth while her mother stands there beaming, despite the fact that she is running a fever and coughing with snot dripping everywhere.

There's no reason for a baby to be constantly sick. Their immune system becomes stronger as they grow, no need to "build it up" from the first day.

chevron

Wed, Sep 19 2012, 6:29 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

If a child is constantly getting sick you should. ops situation may be different.

amother

Wed, Sep 19 2012, 6:45 pm

chevron wrote:

MaBelleVie wrote:

If a child is constantly getting sick you should. ops situation may be different.

Um, I am OP and I am pretty sure I recall writing that DD just about NEVER gets sick except after spending time with this particular family. Maybe she's had one or two little sniffles besides that which weren't noteworthy enough for me to remember. And one delightful case of roseola a year ago when she was just 1, no idea where that came from. But now I think I'm picking up a pattern, the last at least three times in a row that we spent time with this family she came down with something nasty between a few hours to a couple of days later. I confess she is a rather sheltered only child, but I myself have been sick without her catching it, and I'm a teacher so I probably bring home plenty of germs even without coming down with them, plus she goes to public places that have other kids such as playgrounds and the library. But B"H she is just generally very healthy. She does have allergies and eczema but before you blame her sterile environment (we do have dirt. Not disease I hope, but I'm no clean freak) those both run in DH's family so I'm quite sure it's genetic, the eczema she has had since a very tiny age and one of her food allergies is the same as one of DH's. So I am still thinking handwashing is a good idea Rolling Eyes