family size of 3. spend $4,000 a mo.?

sayinghi

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 12:46 pm

Hi,

im hoping I could get some input from you guys! I am a full time student and my husband is a medical intern. both of us work an insane amount of hours with no pay. we have one child and are living off student loans.

I constantly read about amothers who spend 25-30k a year with bigger family size than we have and do not know how this is possible. can you help me narrow down our spending?

4,000 a mo.

does not include health insurance, any new clothing for anyone. (my mom buys clothing for me son and occationally for me...)

no take out food.

we pay rent plus utilities on average $900.
play group for ds $245
we need two cars to get to work/school
thats $208 insurance
and $221 one car is a lease (no monay to buy used)
gas costs us a fortune we both commute $450
diapers for my son $35
cleaning help $72 I tried living with out-it was worse than a disaster.

we just have so many unexpected expenses like a driving ticket I just got. an immediate family wedding oot that we had to attend..

cleaners for my husband- he needs his clothing to be pressed for his job.

and the list goes on and on.

I was just thinking if this is what we spend with one dc what happens when our familt size increases?!?

am I the only one with this problem?
I feel like I cut back so much yet cant manage to lower the monthly spending.

lmc91

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 2:16 pm

We are a family of 3 - we usually spend $1200 on rent+utilities and about $700 a month on food (which I know is a LOT) and still only spend about $3000-$3200 a month. However, we both work from home so we don't have to pay for childcare or any commuting costs. I know it's a small amount but I started ordering Luvs through Amazon mom and it's more like $15 a month. I also don't buy any clothes - those are gifts from inlaws...

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 2:49 pm

Your education had better pay off someday because that is where the money is going. If you were a SAHM there would be 1 car, half the gas, half the car insurance, no childcare expense. You could still keep the cleaning help. Where is the money going? Why, it's going on you.

You do not say what you are studying, but if it were something obviously fancily paid like medicine or law (??) it is probable you would have mentioned it. Your husband is already advanced in a well paying career. And, until Moshiach comes, it is probable women will make less per hour and overall for a lot of reasons some legitimate and some less so, but that's reality.

Sorry to be mean.

I truly question the wisdom of female vaguely creative education unless it can lead straight to a teaching or nursing job. There are too many lawyers and that isn't good for the female ones.

amother

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 3:45 pm

I am a family of 3. (But due in a month with my second) I spend abt that too. We both work. We bought a house last year.
Mortage- costs 2200 but I rent out my basement for 950
food- abt 700
cars- 1 leased and one financed. 150 for one and 247 for the other
electric- 150-200 monthly
childcare- 500 monthly
insurance-not sure how much it costs
health insurance- abt 200 a month
gas- abt 300 a month- dh travels

all the little things that come up....all add up

amother

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 3:45 pm

amother

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 8:44 pm

we have 3 children BH. dh works. I'm sahm.
we have 1 car that we bought second hand.

we have medicaid/food stamps

1500 rent
125 car insurance
200 car gas
100 utilities
150 electricity
500 tuition
80 cleaning help
and of course there are some extras depending on the month.
I like nice things for my children and since I dont work, I shop around allot to get good prices. I usually buy some things the year before on sale so I have enough to start with untill the new seasons things go on sale. I also buy allot on e-bay where you could get nice deals sometimes. (I dont buy used usualy for clothing but I did buy my stroller forr a fraction of the usual cost!)

boysrus

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 10:33 pm

Hi OP,

is it possible that you could take the time to call around different car insurance companies for estimates? We did that, and were able to cut our insurance payments by about 45 %! now we only pay about 135 a month for two cars. I guess it depends on lots of factors though, eg, age of cars, on or off street parking, crime rates, you adn your dh's ages...
just, this is one area where I thought I might mention taht yuo might be able to save a little, good luck!

lmc91

Sun, Nov 04 2012, 11:07 pm

amother wrote:

Does food stamps cover your full cost of food?

gootl

Wed, Aug 05 2015, 5:41 pm

wow. everyone has cars. we dont. I think thats how we are surviving. 2 kids, I am a sahm. my husband makes 14 an hour, 32 hours on average per week. 1400 on rent (includes utilities), 300-400 on food. my husband takes public transportation to work. we spend between 2000-3000 per month depending on whats going on (september we have minim, yom tov food, traveling to my in laws). I guess cars really make a difference.

amother

Pewter

Wed, Aug 05 2015, 6:04 pm

gootl wrote:

Yes and no. Very location specific. Some places you really cannot live without two cars. It's just not doable. Those places do tend to have significantly cheaper housing, but yes, some of those savings will be offset by the need for two reliable vehicles. Then there are places like NYC where you don't need any cars, but you're paying the cost of owning 3 or 4 cars in rent or mortgage. There are some suburbs that are right along commuter rail lines, so you can manage with one car, but you do need that car because while your husband can get to work just fine on the train, you cannot go shopping or to appointments or anywhere local without driving. Whenever these budget discussions come up, somebody claims they manage without cars. This is never helpful because very few people who have cars can actually do without.

Scrabble123

Wed, Aug 05 2015, 6:29 pm

gootl wrote:

I'm kind of confused here. You spend $2,000-$3,000/month when your husband is making less than $2,000? Do you have family support? I'm not trying to push you in a corner or call you a liar at all... you are not spending obnoxiously either. I'm just trying to figure out that financial discrepancy.

Barbara

Wed, Aug 05 2015, 6:39 pm

gootl wrote:

Yeah, but if both you and your husband were working or in school, you'd be putting out $233 per month on Metro Cards. Plus you're paying $500 a month more on rent. That puts you just about $140 a month ahead of her. And I'm guessing that you spend at least part of that on car service or cabs every month. I don't know a lot of people who lug laundry detergent and bottled water and whatever else on the bus.

But I'm curious. Your husband makes $14 per hour, for 32 hours per week. So his pre-tax income is $448 per week, or $1941 per month. Taxes probably take off about $100 to $150 a month. So let's call it $1800.

How do you spend $2000 to $3000 per month? That's almost 1/3 more than you're making.

Barbara

Wed, Aug 05 2015, 6:44 pm

sayinghi wrote:

Your fixed costs won't increase all that much with another kid. Rent and utilities stay the same. Cars stay the same. Gas stays the same. Frankly, it will be a while before a second kid really impacts the food budget.

In the meantime, you'll graduate and get a paying job, and your husband will finish his residency and make more money.

We're not going to discuss what happens when tuition kicks in. At wits end

amother

Magenta

Wed, Aug 05 2015, 6:52 pm

Barbara wrote:

Won't kid #2 need childcare? Diapers? Maybe formula? Not sure how old #1 is but she may need seconds of baby gear (crib, new (double even?) stroller etc) she mentioned her family pays for clothes but I think kid #2 will most certainly add to her budget)

Fave

Wed, Aug 05 2015, 6:59 pm

Barbara wrote:

Op's DH probably completed his residency and OP hopefully finished schooling.