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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club
Victim no more.



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amother


 

Post Mon, Dec 03 2012, 11:58 pm
Craving the attention
And mistaking it for love.
Waiting to be asked over
And dreading every day.
So young in years.
So advanced in actions.
No one knew.
How did no one know?
So confused. Confused. Confused.
I understand now
You were just as confused. Confused. Confused.
It’s no excuse but it helps me forgive.
I was a victim.
I now have a voice.
Thank you for listening.
For talking.
For apologizing.
I love you.
I will always love you.
And I finally don’t hate myself.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 04 2012, 4:46 am
Wow, just wow, amother. Powerful. Keep writing, keep healing.
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Sherri




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 04 2012, 11:30 am
chani8 wrote:
Keep writing, keep healing.
Thumbs Up
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grin




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 04 2012, 1:07 pm
this is very well-written. may I ask you, OP, to explain:"You were just as confused. Confused. Confused. "
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 04 2012, 7:56 pm
OP here.
Thank you for all of the support. I have been healing for a while now but last night I had a flashback and overcome with emotion, I felt the need to write and to share.
As far as the confused part goes, the person who hurt me was a child at the time and was more confused than anything else. He has been healing himself for many years and after years of never mentioning a word about our past I finally confronted him and we were able to heal together. I know that isn't very specific or detailed but I don't want to get into too much detail because I don't need anybody trying to figure out my identity. I also know many people would not understand my reaction and the way with which I have chosen to deal with this and I am not looking for critique. I thankfully have had excellent guidance and am feeling stronger and more at peace as every day goes by.
Thank you again for the feedback.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 05 2012, 2:00 am
amother wrote:
OP here.
Thank you for all of the support. I have been healing for a while now but last night I had a flashback and overcome with emotion, I felt the need to write and to share.
As far as the confused part goes, the person who hurt me was a child at the time and was more confused than anything else. He has been healing himself for many years and after years of never mentioning a word about our past I finally confronted him and we were able to heal together. I know that isn't very specific or detailed but I don't want to get into too much detail because I don't need anybody trying to figure out my identity. I also know many people would not understand my reaction and the way with which I have chosen to deal with this and I am not looking for critique. I thankfully have had excellent guidance and am feeling stronger and more at peace as every day goes by.
Thank you again for the feedback.


I totally understand your reaction, OP. You're not alone in how you are dealing with this.

Just to elaborate on your point of a molester being confused, I'll share that even in my case, my father, a grown man, was wrestling with his inner demons, and was confused. But due to his sickness, he lost the fight. His was a case of "temporary insanity" (or what the social services call, "situational") that was triggered by a lot of bad things going on in his life. None of these are excuses, because ultimately, an adult is obligated to to access resources to get help before they cross the line and hurt another person.

But certainly a child who molests can be understood to have serious issues of his own, as well as not have resources or tools, and for ftr, is not a pedophile. My father was not a pedophile either, and was able to make tshuva. As far as forgiveness, everyone has their own personal meaning for that very heavy word. To me, forgiving means accepting what happened. But that's my story.

Let me just say, again, that your poem, OP, was very deep and touching. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Dec 05 2012, 4:51 am
Wow, that gave me the chills!
Amother, wishing you strength to continue to heal!

-abused
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amother


 

Post Wed, Dec 05 2012, 11:42 pm
OP here. Chani, Thank you so much for that post. I really appreciate your response and support. The person who hurt me is also not a pedophile but I would not want to have to explain that to anyone so it's nice to see I'm not alone. And abused amother, thank you for your support as well and I hope you also continue to heal and grow beyond this. I can't tell you how much it means to me to see how you are all responding so as redundant as it may be, thank you again from the bottom of my heart.
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