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Forum -> Children's Health
4 year old's memory



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amother


 

Post Sat, Dec 15 2012, 11:24 pm
I am a little bit nervous about my child's memory, but am not sure if this is something that I should be worrying about or not.
My child always have been a bit forgetful, but lately, and I say lately as far as a year already, my DC has been forgetting thing, short term memory things. DC can remember things from a long time ago, but when I ask DC what did I say, just a minute ago, asking DC to do something, DC does not remember.
Do you think that that is something that I should check out or something that I should not worry about at all?
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 16 2012, 2:21 am
Is this about chores and things you tell him to do, or stam info in general? If he can't remember what he ate for lunch or whether he went to the park that day, then definitely go see the Dr. If he doesn't recall that you asked him to put his socks in the laundry, then that is normal behavior.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 16 2012, 4:47 am
My advice would be to take specific notes for several days up to a week. Then, share your observations with your pediatrician. Having the detailed daily record will be important to getting a clear answer.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2012, 9:30 am
chani8 wrote:
Is this about chores and things you tell him to do, or stam info in general? If he can't remember what he ate for lunch or whether he went to the park that day, then definitely go see the Dr. If he doesn't recall that you asked him to put his socks in the laundry, then that is normal behavior.


This.
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naomi2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2012, 6:11 pm
I would request an evaluation from an ei agency before he turns five. if it is a short term memory issue it can impact his learning. also, try to play memory games (give him lots of meminders and strategies for how to remember where the cards are) with him to strengthen his skills
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2012, 6:13 pm
naomi2 wrote:
I would request an evaluation from an ei agency before he turns five. if it is a short term memory issue it can impact his learning. also, try to play memory games (give him lots of meminders and strategies for how to remember where the cards are) with him to strengthen his skills


EI is under 3, at this age, you'd have to contact your local school district already--if you're in NY.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 18 2012, 2:43 am
naomi2 wrote:
I would request an evaluation from an ei agency before he turns five. if it is a short term memory issue it can impact his learning. also, try to play memory games (give him lots of meminders and strategies for how to remember where the cards are) with him to strengthen his skills
I am the OP - What is ei agency? I am in Israel. And my child (it is a girl) is wonderful at memory games, sometimes even better than I am.
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 18 2012, 4:38 am
If she's good at memory games, I don't see memory as a problem here.

It could be that your child is not motivated to pay attention to you or that she thinks you will just give her the answer if she says she doesn't remember.

Try offering a small treat if she can repeat the directions back to you on her own and see if her memory magically improves.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 18 2012, 4:40 am
marina wrote:
If she's good at memory games, I don't see memory as a problem here.

It could be that your child is not motivated to pay attention to you or that she thinks you will just give her the answer if she says she doesn't remember.

Try offering a small treat if she can repeat the directions back to you on her own and see if her memory magically improves.
It is not always things that I can tell her the answer to. I ask her what she did in gan for example and she has a hard time remembering or what she had for lunch.
Sometimes she listens to something that I have just said and then I can see that it has gone straight out the window.
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STMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 18 2012, 5:56 am
4 year-olds are very easily internally distracted. You could say something to her, and she's looking right at you, but then she turns her head and sees the picture she drew on the wall, and now she's thinking, ooh, look at my picture, I made the sky blue and the grass green etc etc = what you just said is out the window. This is very normal. Try this for the next week - when you need her to know and remember something, call her name and wait for eye contact. Tell her what you need her to know. Then have her repeat it back to you.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 18 2012, 6:04 am
Your dd sounds pretty normal, and her "problem" may be less a matter of not remembering than a matter of not paying attention or not thinking something is important.

Ask the average child what s/he did in school today and the answer is "nothing". This generally means "nothing unusual," or "nothing I think is interesting enough to tell you about." If you ask said child "Did you daven?" "Did you have recess?" "Did you have story hour?" "Did you play with blocks?" etc. , chances are the answers will be forthcoming.

Children are very good at tuning out, particularly when parents are giving them instructions, lecturing, preaching or having a "teaching moment". Try telling your dd a story and have her tell it back to you. Try teaching her a song or playing memory games. Ask her to list something that matters to her--her toys, or her skirts, or her books or what have you. If she can do those kinds of things, there's nothing wrong with her memory.

A child who "doesn't remember" that her mother told her 5 minutes ago to wash her hands or put her toys away doesn't have a memory problem. She's ignoring you. That's not to say that she's deliberately defying you. Her brain is filtering your words, recognizes an order to do chores or whatever, and discards it. Which is a fancy way of saying she's not really listening.

However, there's nothing wrong with having your dd evaluated just to set your mind at ease.
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Laye




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 18 2012, 7:27 am
If the 'memory loss' happens when you give her instructions, it might be worth monitoring her auditory processing. Some kids have a hard time processing what they hear (there's no problem with their hearing). This gets more difficult when they hear more than one idea/instruction at a time. Make sure you speak slowly and clearly when giving her instructions and give her one instruction at a time, with her looking at you and not doing anything else. Some kids who have difficulty with auditory processing do well with visual cues eg. if you want her to put something in the bin, point to the bin when you tell her. Ask her teachers if she has trouble following instructions, understanding stories etc. This will help you know if the problem might be auditory processing related. Of course, not remembering what she did in school wouldn't have to do with auditory processing; I just thought this angle might be helpful.
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Aribenj




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 20 2012, 12:00 pm
Have you checked her hearing?
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