(Ungrateful-ish) Teens

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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chocolate moose

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 11:27 am

I could post this in Working Mothers, in Shabbos, in Relationships. I’m sticking it here, I don’t know why . . .anyway, the situation is as follows.

I’m a working mom. Lead BH a busy life. Plenty to do, and I’ve managed to streamline a great deal of it. I guess what it boils down to, is that the kids don’t appreciate it.

Such as ………I make dinner and there’s plenty for leftovers. Trouble is sometimes the kids don’t like it to begin with.

Same for Shabbos. I try to make a varying menu, but again, their tastes change. I don’t think it’s exactly being a teen – it could happen at any age.

I want to know how to deal with it. Because I’m seriously doing as much – and the best – that I can! Should I refuse to do things; should I say – “If I have to make diner Thursday night, there will be no fish for Shabbos” kind of thing.

TzenaRena

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 11:38 am

Aren't they old enough tomake dinner themselves if they want to be particular?

amother

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 12:05 pm

why not take turns. one night u make dinner, the other night your daughter etc...... also, maybe they cna give u a list of dinners they like.

I dont think u should say ure not making it, how about saying "honey, id love to make what u like, please let me know in advance what ud want and ill let u know if I dont mind making that! Smile

greenfire

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 12:32 pm

Give them dinner choices for shabbos - as for weekday I would make thursday a make your own dinner or have cereal or starve. This way you could focus on shabbos + they are big.

chocolate moose

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 12:36 pm

DS comes home after 8 PM. I can't wait that long, and he won't do it anyway.

DD is often not home by dinnertime either; she's busy with school and homework and I learn some nights each week and I want to be able to come home, eat and go out again.

I won't say they're lazy as well as ungrateful, but they def. won't take the respon for shopping, cooking, or cleaning up . . .

It's a real problem. They'll kvetch so much is drains my energy. And bagels or frozen pizza won't do it either.........

greenfire

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 12:51 pm

Hey CM 2 of my girls never help and never helped - so I got used to it. Erev shabbos when I am soooo busy wouldn't you know they are always prissing themselves up and go in the shower the exact minute I need it. I do what I can and I don't do what I can't - if they need special service they should hire someone. I find that they appreciate me more when I leave them to fend for themselves sometimes. I do not make dinner every night almost on purpose cause they do need to learn to fend for themselves. Sun is leftover from Fri. Mon is simple Tues & Thurs find your own or eat the leftovers I have or simple too. Wednesday I make nice dinner. & my special is Shabbos. Motzei shabbos - pizza - sometimes on pita bread & sometimes homemade. Teens never appreciate their mothers and the more you do for them the more they expect you to do soooo it doesn't make a dif. they'll catch on. They can make a tuna sandwich - that's dinner too

Pickle Lady

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 1:58 pm

Peroncally I think they are just kvetching and its thier age. No one ever really appreciates something until they have lost it. Thier just kids acting like kids.

chocolate moose

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 3:53 pm

They not bad kids. I do love them - a lot! and they know that.

I know that the mommy has a certain amount of the responsibilities, and I'm not looking to shirk them .... concurretnly my kids have jobs in the house and do them fine.

somehow, dinner cooking and shabbos cooking is a bone of contention right now.......

thanks for listening, everyone!

Pickle Lady

Fri, Jan 26 2007, 4:31 pm

chocolate you are not alone. My mother also felt the same way and when I was about 14 or so she stopped making dinner for us at night and we had to fend for ourselves. Now looking back I feel bad that my mother didn't think we appreciated her cooking but the truth was that we didn't.

chocolate moose

Sat, Jan 27 2007, 7:58 pm

I had that with my mom sewing us clothes. It must be part of being a teenager.

amother

Sat, Jan 27 2007, 8:06 pm

I think its a mothers job to cook for her kids. if u want appreciation u can let ure kids know how much u love them and do for them and it would be SO NICE for them to show appreciation by doing xyz.... and spell it out. when they have kids iyh it will be thier job..... we should do it cuz we love them not because they are gratelful or not. Of course u can give them the choice to make thier own meals.....

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