My son has gender disorder....

HindaRochel

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 1:01 pm

[quote="Dolly Welsh"]

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This post of mine got six "likes". I hope it helped OP.

My post to theoneandonly to marry Clarissa received 4 likes. I hope this helps her. theoneandonly do you want me to help arrange the wedding?

Also Barbara's spot on critique of your post received 6 likes. Hmmm...I guess you come out even. Maybe another round?

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It addresses the OP's specific, anguished, situation. Generalizations about gender identity philosophy, based on how happy everybody else is with their fine, adjusted children, is OT and thread-jacking. The OP is a specific person with a child she is in tears about. So she's not having as good a time as you are. Whatever you think about wishing your sons were more girlie, she isn't thinking that about this particular child. She sees him every day, you don't, and you are not likely to change her views about this particular child. You have expelled her from your club and told her to straighten out and adjust her silly gender prejudices. Is that nice?

The drama is from you. She was worried and wanted to know if it was a problem. It is not.

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And it wasn't just one of you. It went on for pages, the forgotten OP sniffling in a corner.

OP sniffling in the corner? Right.

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My wing is no righter than anybody's.

Bird or insect or bat? Be careful around Gamzu, she's a cat. Gamzu please promise not to make Dolly dinner.

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I am old, and late life BT, and have nothing to learn from you about all these issues.

Yes, I have specific life successes to point to, to prove that I know what I am talking about, but that's too personal to share on the internet.

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PS I bet you don't wish your husbands were more girlie. You probably draw the line there.

More giirlie? As in being an equal partner and not thinking they are superior because of their "schlong" as Barbara put it? Rolling Eyes

HindaRochel

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 1:17 pm

Fox wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

GAMZU how many women do you want? Leave some for someone else.

You know, I'd noticed that she seems to have some fidelity and/or commitment issues. Clarissa, Marina, and now Barbara . . . have I left anyone out?

Do you think it's because she's Mexican, a therapist, a lesbi, or a kitten? I've always said that kittens are bad news when it comes to relationships.

Maybe she played with too many Barbie dolls? IDK. I think the cat thing has something to do with it. I'd ask Dolly to analyze her but then Dolly, who apparently is some sort of winged creature, might get eaten.

I'm still trying to become a dragon. Dragon's are cool! Someone please text me and ask if I'm one so I can transform already!

Barbara

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 1:20 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

You had a baby girl "at last" so being a girl is a high value thing in your house.

Don't venerate or over-princess your daughter in his presence. Out of it, sure.

Have his father spend real, good, quality time with him, just him alone. He needs to feel he is in the boys' club in his house, that he has a solid membership in it, with his father's explicit backing.

Watch out that his brothers are not excluding him from the boys' club.

Do NOT ask him to help you with the baby, fetch something for her care from across the room, carry stuff for you, or in any way ask for little helps and favors that you would not ask from the toughest of your other sons, or anybody's sons, or a rabbi. In fact, be extra careful with this one. Those little sweet help requests are not appropriate with boys, especially this one. All flames about this will be ignored. You must treat him like a superior, in one sense. Not like a servant. Your daughter will help you shlep and prep. Not your sons. Repeat, all flames will be ignored.

Do NOT take him, or any son, with you into a wig salon or manicure salon, or other cooties-laden places. I don't care if that creates babysitting problems for you and you look a mess.

In fact, look a mess a little. This remark is just for this household. Being female, in this house, should just be a fact of normal life, DEFINITELY NOT a ticket to stardom, glossy gorgeousness, and high value royal rank.

Any human being would obviously want whatever is prestigious and high value, the path to royal status.

Particularly if he feels like the low man on totem pole among the males.

He must have his rank raised in your house. He needs to be given special attention by your husband, in that way.

His brothers must not make him a little nothing servant boy who shleps the bags. If they do that, and you are petting the girl, well, sure, who wouldn't want to go over to the girls' side. It becomes all that's left for him to do.

Re read the Joseph story. He ended up a great Tzaddik.

This post of mine got six "likes". I hope it helped OP.

It addresses the OP's specific, anguished, situation. Generalizations about gender identity philosophy, based on how happy everybody else is with their fine, adjusted children, is OT and thread-jacking. The OP is a specific person with a child she is in tears about. So she's not having as good a time as you are. Whatever you think about wishing your sons were more girlie, she isn't thinking that about this particular child. She sees him every day, you don't, and you are not likely to change her views about this particular child. You have expelled her from your club and told her to straighten out and adjust her silly gender prejudices. Is that nice?

And it wasn't just one of you. It went on for pages, the forgotten OP sniffling in a corner.

My wing is no righter than anybody's.

I am old, and late life BT, and have nothing to learn from you about all these issues.

Yes, I have specific life successes to point to, to prove that I know what I am talking about, but that's too personal to share on the internet.

PS I bet you don't wish your husbands were more girlie. You probably draw the line there.

OP wasn't anguished. She wasn't in tears. She didn't have gender concerns. She wasn't sniffling in the corner. She was content at present, but had some concerns about the future. Everyone except you reassured you that her son's activities were well within accepted norms. She responded

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Op here, thanks to everyone. It normalises the what I am going through when I here your situations.

We're so glad to hear that you have specific life successes in teaching boys that they are to be deferred to solely by dint of their gender. How's that working out for their wives?

theoneandonly

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 1:44 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

theoneandonly wrote:

Dolly Welsh wrote:

GAMZu you are asserting that there are just Parents, not moms or pops.

I used to get spam mail addressed to "Dear Occupant" whoever or whatever you are. Is it like that?

How would we sing "Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda"?

How is a kid supposed to wake up in the night and yell "Paaaaaarennttttt!"

It's two syllables. Will never catch on.

My son actually wakes up in middle of the night and cries for "Daaaddy!!!" What does that say about our parenting roles? Rolling Eyes

I'm sorry, this is obviously not acceptable behavior. Extreme forms of reorientation of proper parental roles is called for. Marry Clarissa. Or Gamzu.

But I'm not mushy!! Do you think hanging out with them will make me catch the gayz and become lesbi enough to marry one of them?

HindaRochel

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 1:50 pm

theoneandonly wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

theoneandonly wrote:

Dolly Welsh wrote:

My son actually wakes up in middle of the night and cries for "Daaaddy!!!" What does that say about our parenting roles? Rolling Eyes

I'm sorry, this is obviously not acceptable behavior. Extreme forms of reorientation of proper parental roles is called for. Marry Clarissa. Or Gamzu.

But I'm not mushy!! Do you think hanging out with them will make me catch the gayz and become lesbi enough to marry one of them?

Oh absolutely. And you must do it you know, you must do it for the sake of your son. He is calling out for daddy. If you marry Gamzu or Clarissa then he will be yellling MOMMY no matter what and will properly understand gender roles.

theoneandonly

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 2:00 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

theoneandonly wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

theoneandonly wrote:

Dolly Welsh wrote:

My son actually wakes up in middle of the night and cries for "Daaaddy!!!" What does that say about our parenting roles? Rolling Eyes

I'm sorry, this is obviously not acceptable behavior. Extreme forms of reorientation of proper parental roles is called for. Marry Clarissa. Or Gamzu.

But I'm not mushy!! Do you think hanging out with them will make me catch the gayz and become lesbi enough to marry one of them?

But how would our household work? No one would be able to change lightbulbs or fix broken things or kill bugs or do any other "Daddy" things. Are we destined to live in a dark, run-down, bug-infested apartment? Wow, what mesiras nefesh we have to teach our children proper gender roles...

Btw, HindaRochel, are you a dragon? Wink

HindaRochel

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 2:05 pm

theoneandonly wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

theoneandonly wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

theoneandonly wrote:

Dolly Welsh wrote:

My son actually wakes up in middle of the night and cries for "Daaaddy!!!" What does that say about our parenting roles? Rolling Eyes

I'm sorry, this is obviously not acceptable behavior. Extreme forms of reorientation of proper parental roles is called for. Marry Clarissa. Or Gamzu.

But I'm not mushy!! Do you think hanging out with them will make me catch the gayz and become lesbi enough to marry one of them?

Now I am.

Purple with a touch of mother-of-pearl under the wings.

Barbara

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 2:06 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

Fox wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

GAMZU how many women do you want? Leave some for someone else.

I'm allergic to cats.

I love dragons. Will you marry me?

HindaRochel

Thu, Feb 07 2013, 2:08 pm

Barbara wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

Fox wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

GAMZU how many women do you want? Leave some for someone else.

I'm allergic to cats.

I love dragons. Will you marry me?

Oh wow, I am so honored. My first proposal! I morph so sometimes I am human. Should I come as dragon or human to the wedding?