I'm a frum woman + tallit and tefillin. Ask me anything.

amother

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 2:18 pm

I cover my hair. I only wear skirts. My husband and I keep the harchakot. I only eat chalak (glatt). My practice in tefilla has never been a public performance, and I am very committed to what I have taken on. I'm all about ahavat yisrael, so please try to keep this thread respectful.

chani8

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 2:44 pm

Do you go to shul (eta - in general. I realize you don't don tefillin in shul)?

Does it have a mechitza? What kind, how big?

What kind of frum are you?

Last edited by chani8 on Sat, Apr 20 2013, 3:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

carpediem

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 2:57 pm

That's so interesting, have you worn a Tallis and tefillin since bat mitzva or is it something you started later on in life? If yeah, what made you decide?

amother

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 3:04 pm

OP here.

I go to a shul. It has a mechitzah. I don't wear tallit when I go on Shabbat out of lack of desire to enter into this conversation with my community and the shul's rabbi (or be asked to take it off or leave?). I do birkot hatorah and hashachar, put on my tallit, and say shema at home, and then daven the rest at shul without the tallit. I've yet to find the right shul and community for me, where I can have the halachik standards I need (and a kahal that reflects them) and the ability to daven the way I do openly... Though there are a couple of shuls in other cities that come close.

I didn't have a bat mitzvah celebration. Smile

I took this on when I was engaged.

amother

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 3:09 pm

And to answer the seconds parts of each of your questions:

The mechitzah is standard. You can't see over it. The black hatters in the shul are content with it.

I'm just plain frum. Labels are for shirts. Wink

I decided to do this after years of fascination with the objects and their effect on prayer in terms of adding kedusha, increasing focus, and adding a physical focus-point and physical ritual to shacharit that would help me further connect. I learned about tallit and tefillin, the te'amei hamitzvot, the halachot surrounding them, and some hashkafa. Finally, my then-fiance taught me how to lay tefillin and I tried it out without neder. A little later, I took it on and have not missed a day since.

cs1

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 5:57 pm

Do you wear a kippa when you wear a tallis and teffilin?

Does your dh find it odd or is he ok with it?

Do your relatives (kids?) Know and what do they think about it?

Do you feel the same kavana when you daven in shul without teffilin?

I wasn't sure abt the going to shul part. Are you
talking about shabbos or weekday?

Last edited by cs1 on Sat, Apr 20 2013, 6:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 5:58 pm

How do you feel about the women of the wall being arrested by the kotel for davening with a tallit on?

enneamom

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 6:43 pm

When you decided to do this, did you go through the halachic sources? What did you find? I'm genuinely curious.

miami85

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 6:47 pm

I've heard that the daughters may have worn tefillin--but they were an unusual case, this was not practiced by any of the Imahos, Miriam, or Devorah--why do you feel that this was an appropriate "mitzvah" to take on? Why when you were engaged? Are you Ashkenaz or Sefard? Men (at least most Ashkenaz--not yekesh) don't take on tallit until after marriage. How do you put them on while maintaining tznius on your arm?

I'm confused why you feel that you "need" this mitzvah to feel closer to HaShem? There are reasons why different mitzvos are for Men only and some for Women only, and it has nothing to do with "better" or "more Kodesh".

chayasarah

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 7:41 pm

Rashi's daughter was known to put on tefillin. Do u wear them when ur niddah. Do u bake challah every week. Do you light shabbos candles earlier as a zchus for klal. What is your opinion on the kotel controversy of a womens minyan.

September June

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 7:44 pm

sequoia wrote:

This is "ask me anything," not "yell at me indiscriminately."

THANK YOU!!!

Some of the posts on this thread are really not nice. Maybe think before you post if you would say something like that to someone in real life.
It is an avaira to hurt someone's feelings. Think about that.

enneamom

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 7:44 pm

Why are some people being so judgmental? Do you know all the halachic opinions on this? Live and let live, why jump down her throat? It's not like she said she's mechallel Shabbos! Gimme a break.

chilled

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 7:51 pm

Wow, this thread sure brings out the judgmental side to some posters... OP isn't hurting anyone. Her choice to undertake this these actions is her prerogative. She has clearly stated that she does it in her home and not in shul. Why judge? Seriously...

Clarissa

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 7:54 pm

OP, please don't bother to answer any questions posted by amothers. You don't know that it's not just one person judging you. Let her post as herself, or ignore her. If she doesn't respect you enough to actually post as herself, she's not worth answering.

Last edited by Clarissa on Sat, Apr 20 2013, 8:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

celestial

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 8:19 pm

I actually think it's really funny how some amothers are getting suuuuper touchy about this. Like they MUST question the OP's motives because chos v'shalom it is genuine - because then it might make them feel insecure!

Op, I admire you a lot.
My question for you is if there is an issue when you are in niddah. And does it truly help you focus more to have the tefillin on? It's kind of my dream to do this, but I don't know if I would ever have the courage.

Clarissa

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 8:46 pm

I considered correcting that, but I usually let things like that slide unless I'm really annoyed. But I refuse to ignore textese, which doesn't belong on message boards.

DrMom

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 8:46 pm

amother wrote:

I find this topic fascinating.

For the record, I don't comprehend the visceral insecurities that your post provoked. I find it odd.

cs1

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 8:50 pm

I wasn't "attacking". I hope my post didn't come out that way.
Op did say to ask questions. This is the first time I heard of frum women that wear tallis and teffilin which did make me curious....

shiffycc

Sat, Apr 20 2013, 9:01 pm

I honestly don't think there were any posts that were attacking op. It seemed to me that women were just asking questions, as the op invited them to.
I suppose that, this being a written form of cummunication, and therefore lacking in intonation, one COULD read some posts as an attack. But I think if you ladies look back and try to read the questions from a different perspective, you might find a genuine interest and curiosity.