I did IVF. Ask me anything.

amother

Sun, Apr 21 2013, 8:51 pm

amother wrote:

What is the max amount of eggs that they would place back in you? Were you ever pregnant with multiples? (Not sure if your IVF was successful or not-- I have to admit that I wasn't able to fully follow all of your lingo)
I guess what I'm asking is, how many eggs can they put back into you that would give you a good chance of one of them catching on without you being put in the position of becoming pregnant with quads or the like?

Mama Bear had 2 successful transfers meaning she B"H has 2 children.

In most healthy women they put back 2 embryos. If both embryos 'stick' the women ends up with twins. If one 'sticks' she has one baby. If none 'stick' it means no pregnancy.

amother

Sun, Apr 21 2013, 8:52 pm

I have never personally done IVF (bh) but am involved with an organisation that has a lot to do with it...
Where I live in Australia, they will normally only return one fertilized egg (ie embryo) to the woman because of the inherent risk of beig pregnant with multiples. On rare occasions, they may do two. It is my understanding that due to the tremendous cost in the US (it costs way less here- part is covered by Medicare - public insurance and overall the fees are lower, though still expensive) for each cycle, there is a grwater likelihood of putting jn two.
Also , the lab people check all the embryoa and choose the most viable and likely to succeed .

amother

Sun, Apr 21 2013, 9:06 pm

OPINIONATED wrote:

amother wrote:

unfortunately no sperm were found. We are waiting for science to change so that bezras Hashem we will be able to have biological children.
I dont understand your last question? Do you want to know what TESE is? Or how they do the procedure? Or what it was like for me, as a wife, when DH was in surgery?

I am so sorry to hear that. How do you deal with it?

Its not easy at all. I cry a lot, especially in the beginning. I had a love/hate relationship with Hashem. I didnt rebel or anything. Sometimes I felt so close to Him, this must be good because He know whats best for me, etc. And sometimes I couldn't stop screaming at Him about how He abandoned me.

amother

Sun, Apr 21 2013, 9:09 pm

amother wrote:

purple amother,

We are also dealing with MF; somewhere in the middle spectrum. There is sperm but low count & motility. Our next plan of action (after failed IUIs) is ICSI (if we hopefully get some Bonei Olam funding).

I am petrified.

I wish I had the level of emunah you have. I am too afraid to hope because I'm so afraid I'll be disappointed.

orange amother

What makes you think I'm so strong? Do you have a support network? I could not have survived without A TIME.

amother

Sun, Apr 21 2013, 9:29 pm

amother wrote:

edited to change color. I am not the green amother from the big IF thread.

purple amother,

We are also dealing with MF; somewhere in the middle spectrum. There is sperm but low count & motility. Our next plan of action (after failed IUIs) is ICSI (if we hopefully get some Bonei Olam funding).

I am petrified.

I wish I had the level of emunah you have. I am too afraid to hope because I'm so afraid I'll be disappointed.

orange amother

I'm the original OP, your situation sounds similar to mine, although I also have FF along with the MF. DH also has very low counts and motility and morphology, but B'H we had two successful IVFs with ICSI. There is tons of hope for you.

And if Bonei Olam doesn't come through try to have a plan B. I took on an extra job and worked for a year until I saved up enough to fund a fresh IVF out of pocket. Don't let your chances of having children ride on the possibility of tzedaka coming through. Be proactive and figure out a way to pay for it.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 5:25 am

amother wrote:

Is it true that a dh can only [finish] if doing it into cup while dw is not nidda?

According to most Rabbanim the best way for the man to give a semen sample if that he wears a special condom while he has intercourse with his wife. He then takes off the condom and puts it into a special cup and they race over the the dr's office because the sample has to be dropped off within a short amount of time. (I think 1.5 hours but I dont remember, its been a while since we did this.)

In some situations the Rav might allow the man to produce the sample on his own in a cup at the dr's office, without his wife.

Im just wondering why you say "in some situations"? Dont you think it really depends on the rav?
The rav that we asked, just about a SE before IVF, he told us that anything that DH needs to do for any IF treatment/cycle anything, he can produce in a cup if that is more comfortable for him.

Clarissa

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 7:59 am

I was told by someone at my fertility clinic that the cup way is much better for sperm collection. There are problems inherent with the condom collection method. I realize that's not a halachic opinion, but if it is true, I encourage infertile couples to ask their rabbis about doing it into a cup. Infertility is difficult and expensive enough. I want everyone to have their best chance at success.

It's not as if an infertile person is wasting seed this way. Quite the opposite, in fact, they're using it. All of it. But I know, ask your LOR.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 2:40 pm

Clarissa wrote:

Clarissa, there are rabbanim who say the cup is fine. The rabbi that we asked (and truth be told we were not going to ask but my husband felt better being sure) said that if a man feels more comfortable using the cup rather than the condom, then there is nothing to think about. We happen to be MO but I know of other streams of orthodoxy where the rabbi says the same thing.

The cup is not always not allowed.

Clarissa

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 3:54 pm

amother wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

This makes me happy. I think things shouldn't be made more difficult in already difficult situations, if at all possible.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 4:27 pm

Im expecting and I wanted to invite my husbands friends over for a shabbos meal. They are married for a few years already and they don't have children. I don't want to hurt the wife's feelings when she sees Im expecting... Do you think I should invite them or not? Ofcourse I am not going to be talking about my pregnancy if they come over.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 4:29 pm

Then again, there are plenty of men who find it much easier to use the condom method as it's much more natural. I think my dh would balk at having to come into a cup. (And we were told btw, that we could do whatever method is best for us, but that the condom method is more l'chatchila halachickly.)

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 4:31 pm

amother wrote:

Personally, by me they put back 2 and I did end up with twins. Smile

It depends a lot on various factors, such as age and diagnosis and quality of the eggs, as well as personal preference. You have to be willing to take the chance of twins if they transfer 2. Two is usually the max in a young healthy women, but in older women with many failed cycles they might do 3.

I am older, so we only got two embryos on the first cycle, one on the second and no embryos by the third.

None of them worked, doctor says because of my age. I do have a child from my first marriage, so I am grateful to Hashem. My dh met me years ago but did not marry me because of his mother. I have to stop telling myself that his mother killed our children.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 4:38 pm

are people able to get to the mikva before the retreival?
before the transfer?

for an orthodox couple, how many weeks of nidda are involved?
how many weeks of no s-x, even if tehora?

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 5:06 pm

Quote:

Thank you for the encouragement. I hope we will be successful iyH. And re: the $$ aspect, you are 100% correct. If they won't cover the cost, then I will definitely put in whatever it takes to earn the money to pay for it. I guess I am a worrier. As per my RE, it's only a 50-50 chance that an IVF cycle will be successful so I start imagining how many cycles it may take, and the cost.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 5:11 pm

Quote:

What makes you think I'm so strong? Do you have a support network? I could not have survived without A TIME.

I don't know, you just sounded like a strong person. I haven't joined A Time's forums, though I guess now would be a good time to start as any.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 5:15 pm

amother wrote:

How painful did you find the egg retrieval to be (meaning after the procedure is over)? And were you really able to return to work the next day and feel ok?

For me the day before retrieval was more painful. I felt like my stomach was going to burst and my back was in intense pain.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 5:15 pm

amother wrote:

How painful did you find the egg retrieval to be (meaning after the procedure is over)? And were you really able to return to work the next day and feel ok?

For me the day before retrieval was more painful. I felt like my stomach was going to burst and my back was in intense pain.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 6:12 pm

amother wrote:

are people able to get to the mikva before the retreival?
before the transfer?

for an orthodox couple, how many weeks of nidda are involved?
how many weeks of no s-x, even if tehora?

Yes, it's typically not a problem getting to mikvah before retrieval, in my experience it was a couple days before.

Nidda days are the same as with any regular cycle, though if your protocol has you on birth control for the 2 weeks before you start the other medications, then that might prolong the nidda because of spotting and breakthrough bleeding.

I forgot how many weeks of abstinence they recommend. For sure the first two weeks after retrieval, until the pregnancy test. If it's negative you have maybe a day or 2 together before your period starts. If it's positive I think you are supposed to wait another few weeks, maybe until the heartbeat, IIRC.

amother

Mon, Apr 22 2013, 6:14 pm

amother wrote:

How painful did you find the egg retrieval to be (meaning after the procedure is over)? And were you really able to return to work the next day and feel ok?

I had two retrievals, the first was harder than the second. The first time was on a Friday so I didn't have to go to work till Monday, which helped a lot. I think I was in a decent amount of abdominal pain Friday and Shabbos.

The second time recovery was not as bad. I felt good the evening after the retrieval and went to work the next day no problem.