Dear people who organize meals

amother

Tue, May 14 2013, 8:42 am

ra_mom wrote:

eema of 3 wrote:

ra_mom wrote:

eema of 3 wrote:

ra_mom wrote:

eema of 3 wrote:

ra_mom wrote:

OP, I think a note saying something like 'thank you so much for your generous help! we are napping now so kindly leave your package in the box below and write your name so we can properly thank you' (attach a pen) is the way to go.
It needs to be easy for both the giver and the receiver.
Mazel Tov!

I dont think having people drop off their food at one house so one person can deliver everything is any harder than dropping it off individually at the new mothers house. ive never organized, but all the times that I have made part of shabbos for a new mom, I always dropped it off at the organizers house, and then she took the whole meal over. I wouldnt want people dropping food off and leaving it outside. it could end up being outside for a few hours, or animals could get into, or where I live, someone might take it....

The mom can head outside between nursing sessions and naps to bring the food in.

assuming shes not like me and forgets everything 10 seconds after it happens Smile

but seriously, if you are already taking a meal to someone, why is it harder to drop it off at one house than at another? what difference does it make if you drop it at the new moms house, or at someone elses house? obviously if you live around the corner or whatever then you arent going to want to go to the other side of town, but I dont see why everything cant be dropped of at one central location and then be taken over when its all ready.

I hear you.
But the moms I know who help with meals don't have time to keep answering the doorbell and taking packages either. They're usually at work and somehow manage to find an extra 10 minutes in their day just to drop off the food they prepared at midnight the night before.

I agree 100%. making meals is not an obligation, its a chessed. if there are specifications and you cant meet them, just say im sorry, im not able to this time. the way it works here is that when someone has a baby, a friend arranges the meals, and anyone who wants to make something gets in touch with that friend.
no one is forcing anyone to do anything. and in places where phone calls are made to ask if you can make a meal, you can always say no.

Just to clarify, I do not feel deliver food at an inconvenient time for the recipient. I understand that most moms of small children need their food hot and ready by 5pm, so I let them know that I will get it to them by then. They let me know if they need it at a different hour.
If I can't get it to where it needs to be at a time that works for the PP mom, I offer to bring it in the morning on my way to work and set a crockpot on their counter so that the food is ready and available on time, I offer to bring it the day before, or I offer to send a frozen meal for them to use at their convenience.
But I work really hard to get it to the mom when she needs it, and yes, it takes lots of rearranging, planning, and extra help with childcare for me to deliver it on time. And somehow Friday is harder than any other day.
It just seems like such a shame for 8 people to split a shabbos package. Even if it was arranged for everybody to drop off their portions within a 1 hour time frame, the bell would still ring 8 times during that hour. And for 8 people to have to do deliveries to one person? Shame.

When I had a baby a few months ago, a lady from my shul offered to arrange the Shabbos meal. Apparently, she called the shul list and delegated to many different women who should bring what, with no drop off time. All through the day we had people coming with one part of the meal, all together 7 or 8 people. I had thought it was 1 person bringing the food, so can you imagine how anxious my family was wondering why we only had challah and dessert? Then fish came. Good, now we have fish. Now a kugel. The main part arrived cold right before lighting. I sent DH out to the store to buy some food because we had no clue what was coming and when. We appreciated the chessed but like other posters have said, there is no chessed when you are causing the recipient to worry like that.

When performing a chessed it has to be done in as menchlich a manner as possible! You have to make sure the people on the receiving end feel GOOD and not like a nebach case, putting the givers out in order to help. Which is how we felt every time a meal came.

Anon because I do appreciate the thought, and I don't want to offend people who gave to us, who know my username.