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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Social anxiety

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MorahRachel

Mon, Feb 19 2007, 9:15 pm

My daughter (age 5 and 1/2) is a typical first born girl, which includes whining at all the right times. However, I am concerned about one thing. Whenever we go into social situations, like "groups" during shul or even her class in school, she gets very clingy to the grown up in the group. My husband thinks this stems from a lack of self confidence. I do not know why she behaves this way. Is it a stage? Is she seriously uncomfortable?The group leader actually had to bring her to my husband in shul last shabbos (not good) and she told me that my daughter and groups just dont mix. I do not want to stop sending her- I think its good for her to keep up a routine with structured times, etc and also to be with friends and play (also its nice for me to have her go to shul with my husband in the morning). Anyway, enough rambling on - I hope someone out there has some advice for me. Thank you in advance!

Meema2Kids

Tue, Feb 20 2007, 12:02 am

My daughter is 6 and is the same way. It takes her awhile to get warmed up to a group. It helps if she has a friend (a peer or an older child, like if teenagers are helping out) that she is comfortable with.

Motek

Thu, Feb 22 2007, 8:23 pm

Being a first born means you whine? That's news to me.

Whenever we go into social situations, like "groups" during shul or even her class in school, she gets very clingy to the grown up in the group. My husband thinks this stems from a lack of self confidence. I do not know why she behaves this way. Is it a stage? Is she seriously uncomfortable?[/quote]

It's hard to give advice without knowing more about your daughter and her life. Does she have other siblings? How about talking to her about it? She's old enough to give you some insight into how she feels and why she feels that way.

MorahRachel

Thu, Feb 22 2007, 9:55 pm

well, my friends who also have first born girls all seem to have the whining problem as well!!

Anyway, I also have a son 3 years younger than her. I dont really know what other information to give. I spoke to her teachers who say that yes she is clingy in school- maybe she should see a psychologist. I dont know. Anyway, I just thought there would be someone out there who had an insight.

Motek

Thu, Feb 22 2007, 9:57 pm

[quote="MorahRachel"]well, my friends who also have first born girls all seem to have the whining problem as well!![quote]

Maybe something to do with the parenting! Wink

What has her (thus far short) life been like so far? When did she leave home for groups? How did she do the first time? What is your relationship like with her?

MorahRachel

Thu, Feb 22 2007, 10:06 pm

Please dont accuse me or my friends of bad parenting. I posted online for help not for criticism.

She has been going to groups for over a year now. She has many friends that she knows from school and from shul that are there.

My relationship with her is complex but getting better. I am working very hard on keeping it positive - even though in the past it has not always been so.

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