smart phone & shabbos!

amother

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 12:14 pm

I am a young, chassidish high school teacher, who keeps in touch with friends and family through texting, whatsapp, etc. I also use my phone for the internet
(Mostly this site)....

Yesterday (shabbos afternoon) I shocked myself terribly when after about two min of chatting with my husband, cooing at my kids, I noticed my (dead) phone in my hand!!

That's when I realised that something is terribly wrong with my attachment to my phone... I literally ALWAYS have my phone on me, as embarassing as that may sound. In the kitchen, in the bathroom, in bed, while nursing. ALWAYS. Besides for shabbos. Yesterday it was totally in my face that I have GOT to do something about this unhealthy attachment.

PLEASE help me with any pieces of advice/tips etc...

-addicted-

MaBelleVie

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 12:38 pm

Only use your phone certain hours of the day. Otherwise, keep it turned off and leave it in a different room. You don't need it.

amother

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 1:46 pm

Can you make shabbos a day of relief? Say to yourself "Phew! One day where I'm not feeling the constant buzzing/hearing the constant beeps of the phone." See it as a day of liberation of sorts....

I used to be this way, but now relish going off the grid for a day.

Jewishmofm

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 1:51 pm

This doesn't sound so much like a shabbos problem as a wired problem . . . I know that when I get too wired, it's usually because I'm running away from being a bored housewife. When it hits me in the face, I usually plan some downtime - with a specific alternative activity planned. without a replacement activity, I'm doomed.

chocolate moose

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 1:56 pm

I have an Iphone that I use a lot. But before Shabbos, when I turn on my Shabbos lamp, wind my Shabbos watch, and do other right-before-Shabbos activities, I turn OFF the phone and put it out of reach.

amother

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 2:46 pm

Thank you for taking the time to answer.
I don't have a problem with shabbos, its not that I used the phone on shabbos or that I yearn for the phone on shabbos. The phone was dead and its not that I used it, its that without even realizing, I took it to my hand, totally subconciously. Obviously I could and will (and usually do) put it out of reach on shabbos. But that will only prevent such an incident from occuring again, and won't take care of the root of the problem- the addiction to my phone...

I like the idea of designated times, I just need to come up with a solution for time sensitive texts from my DH for example etc...

-addicted-

IMHopinion

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 5:02 pm

Op, I had the same situation many times. I didn't actually touch my phone, but I reached out for it subconsciously, and Baruch Hashem remembered before I touched it!
So now I hide my phone over Shabbos. I put it into a drawer or closet that is near an outlet, so it charges over Shabbos, yet out of sight.

lavender_dew

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 10:18 pm

I turn off my phone and put it inside the "junk drawer" in my kitchen. It's all muktzah stuff and there is nothing in there I'd need during Shabbat. If you leave it out and if an alert pops up or it rings, it is just second nature to reach for it. Better to shut it off and hide it.

As far as the "addiction" in general, I am fighting the same battle. After reading a lot of articles about how phones can be dangerous (radiation etc), it makes me nervous to breastfeed with it so close to the baby every time, so I started leaving books and magazines next to my bed. That way I have some entertainment and can take a breather from staring at that screen. shock

bamamama

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 10:51 pm

Jewishmofm wrote:

^TRUTH (all, but especially the bolded)

Love2bme

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 2:09 am

How about getting rid of the smart phone ? I used to be hooked and since I gave it up I live so much more of a peaceful harmonious life... as old fashioned as it sounds, it did me a world of good. yes, it was hard and still is watching my friends cling to their phones being that I was a clinger bigtime...but I see now how sucked in I was,always being available to reply no matter what...as u mentioned , the bath, nursing etc....its like your brain never has time to think because your always 'on call'. you may think I am the 'rebitzin' type but im soo not, I just decided to do this for several other reasons, including having time to 'peace out' instead of becoming 'stressed out'. most people dont realize how stressful these gadgets make us....including being hooked onto facebook or watsapp or watever else it may be....

just a thought...take it or leave it Smile

gluck

DrMom

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 3:19 am

chocolate moose wrote:

zip the phone in your purse. it's not that big a deal.

THIS.

You are not *addicted* because you picked up your phone once out of habit. There's a difference between a habit and an addiction. Did you go into withdrawl when you realized you couldn't use your phone?? No, you just said "oops" and put it down again.

Just put the phone away the way you would with all your other mukza stuff. Problem solved.

And during the week, take steps to limit your phone usage.

Raisin

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 3:38 pm

Tell dh you will not be using your phone in afternoon, during hkmework, supper, bedtime etc. He will get used to it and call the housephone when urgent.

amother

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 4:21 pm

Thank You for helping me stick to my decision not to get a smart phone for this very reason!
I'm happy for you that you caught yourself in time. Awareness is the first step. Taking action the second step. Hatzlocha - you are on the way.

gp2.0

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 6:05 pm

DrMom wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

zip the phone in your purse. it's not that big a deal.

This again. It's just your body learning reflexive habits. It's like shutting off the light in the bathroom by mistake. Really not a big deal.

greenfire

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 6:21 pm

is this like being so used to an eruv that you don't know what to do in a town without one ...

hide the phone as part of lights, urn, blech, etc. before licht bentching

it's shabbos ... yom menucha !!!