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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
Who brings little children to the megilla?
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 4:06 pm
Last night I was in shul for the megilla right after Shabbos. For the first time in 13 years I didn't go to a ladies' reading later. My two oldest dds stayed at home with two youngest dss and the girls went to a later reading.

Well, in I walked and soon after me, came two little boys (aged under 3) from ds's gan together with their mothers. (One got taken out after the brochos when he was crying, and the other lasted about two chapters.)
Across the ezras nashim was a mother with a little boy of about three who didn't stop talking (and she kept telling him to be quiet, so she wasn't yotzei the megilla anyway) the whole time. In front of me was a girl of about 4 who started knocking the back of her chair into me once she got bored.

This shul has a ladies' reading at 9pm which dds went to, and said there were about 6 other women.

So WHAT WERE THESE WOMEN THINKING? I really tried to be dan lechaf zechus (maybe it was her mikva night and she had to come early; maybe her husband was out of town...) but I really think that most of them thought it was cute to bring their dressed-up kids. Or thought it would be fun for them (I don't think it was).

Well, next year, IY"H, I will go to another shul. But it just isn't fair. At least take your kids out if they start making a noise (talking included and not just loud crying).

Comments, anyone?
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su7kids




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 4:09 pm
Maybe they didn't have babysitters?

There should be a babysitting service for the little kids, and the teens could maybe come in and take the children out to the babysitting during the reading, and then someone will read for the teens later.
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 4:11 pm
su7kids wrote:
Maybe they didn't have babysitters?

There should be a babysitting service for the little kids, and the teens could maybe come in and take the children out to the babysitting during the reading, and then someone will read for the teens later.


I mentioned that this shul has a later ladies' reading which hardly anyone attended. The husband (or someone else) can then babysit while his wife goes. (I could be dan lechaf zechus on one that her husband is out of town etc, but this was a trend.)
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 4:11 pm
Wow - I can almost hear the racket - my children almost always went - but they were always extremely well-behaved - I sat them down with cute Megilla and a little quiet nosh not noisy wrappers opening - was it a miracle - cause they certainly are rowdy teens.
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shanie5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 4:21 pm
I also was able to take my children most years-but they were quiet and well behaved. the years I thought I hasd too many little ones, or that they wouldnt behave, I went to a later reading.
it is annoying when s/o brings ill behaved children.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 7:29 pm
This year we brought the Megillah to our children, instead of our children to the Megillah.
It was SO hard to keep the quiet AT HOME! I can't imagine what it would be like to try to keep them quiet in shul!!!! (never mind trying to hear every word)
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stem




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 7:58 pm
This year was the first time I brought my daughter (5) to shul to hear megilla. My husband went to an earlier minyan and stayed home with the younger one while I was at shul. We discussed it with her for days and weeks before Purim, that she would have to be completely silent, not even whispering during the entire time. I left the choice up to her. She decided that she would be able to do it this year, and I am SO proud of her because she was unbelievable well behaved. There were kids older than her who were whining and had to be taken out, but she knew that it was not an option. She sat quietly, and laid down on the seat towards the end when she started getting bored. Mind you, she is a very rambunctious girl, and normally can't sit still.

I would never bring young children to shul till they are old enough to sit through it, and WANT to sit through it.
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Esther01




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 9:24 pm
this is why my husband learned to read the megilah and reads it for us at home.

never mind I missed 'zachar' in shul because my 18 month old started crying right before.
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SZ mother




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 9:58 pm
what I think is that mothers cannot plan everything!
As much as we want our kids to behave, and want to perform the mitzvos, sometimes they don't go together, so, if someone brings the children to the megilah is because probably the plan was that the kids will behave, and by the end, it did not work that way. Period!@@ nothing to blame or to be blamed about it!
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amother


 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 10:00 pm
kids should be in bed that late.
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micki




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 11:21 pm
we heard every word! and I am so proud of my girls who loked in and followed every word.
I bring gear- pacifiers drinks, and food. that way it keeps them busy, and B"H it worked. I always hold my breath and pray for it to be done fast and B"H we made it!
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miriam




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 11:26 pm
amother wrote:
kids should be in bed that late.


But they need to hear the Megillah.
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Flowerchild




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 11:34 pm
I have a HUGE HUGE shul there are atleast 3 minyanim going on on two floors so they have created a kids minyan, it works for kids who are 7 and older, the little ones usually stay in the womens section where an older girl watches them all in a huge hallway/room, sometimes it gets noisy with little kids but usually its pretty quiet.
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raizy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2007, 11:40 pm
all right every year I brign my kids to shul and it always worked bc for my noisy kids somehow the know that megillah time is not a time to act up.

well this year with 2 babies in too. I didnt think that I would manage and I got a babysitter at my sis house. well I arrived 10 mintes late. had to wait for the second reading...

the worst part was that there were 2 other women with kids one had 3 babies one had 2. and they were so NOISY!!!!

next year I am bringing my QUITE kids to shul and I will not be the goody goody!!

this is my offical rant the jour.!!!
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chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2007, 12:26 am
miriam wrote:
amother wrote:
kids should be in bed that late.


But they need to hear the Megillah.


Who? The kids or the mothers? Babies and toddlers don't "need" to hear the megillah.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2007, 1:41 am
Last year I went to the 2nd reading while DH watched DS (2 weeks old) in the main shul where they were already finished. This year I didn't make it at all in the evening, and wen't to a private reading in the morning. I hated it, so I'm really hoping that DS will learn how to be quiet in shul. But I won't take him unless I'm sure he will be.
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2007, 2:39 am
SZ mother wrote:
what I think is that mothers cannot plan everything!
As much as we want our kids to behave, and want to perform the mitzvos, sometimes they don't go together, so, if someone brings the children to the megilah is because probably the plan was that the kids will behave, and by the end, it did not work that way. Period!@@ nothing to blame or to be blamed about it!


So if they stop behaving, take them out and come back for the later reading while dh babysits.
Sorry, but I do blame that woman who stayed while ds spoke throughout the megilla.
I have no complaints with those who brought slightly older children, say 5 year olds, and expected them to behave. If it works out, fine. If not, take them out.
I have a 4.10 yr old and I debated whether to take him. In the end I decided to wait till next year, but I'm sure there are children his age (maybe girls more) who can sit quietly.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2007, 10:33 am
It's very hard. Kids and babies can't help making some noise, and if it's a crowded room, it's a lot of kids and babies making noise..........none of which are chayav in the mitzvah!
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Mitzvahmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2007, 10:37 am
A. not everyone has a husband to watch the kids (or their husbands are out of town).
B. not everyone has money to hire a babysitter...and sometimes communities do not provide sitters.

So we are supposed to miss out on a mitzvah??
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withhumor




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2007, 10:41 am
My kids are very well behaved so I took my 2 year old for granted this year. I couldn’t get a babysitter and I refused to go to a ladies minyan while my dh sits home alone eating the seuda! It’s totally not what I call a simchas yom tov (or both of us waiting until 11pm to start the meal?!). So I took my baby along and she was really enjoying the commotion by Haman. By the last page she spilled her snack by mistake and she was convinced that some other kid was coming tooooooooooo close to it so she started yelling ‘no no mine nack!” and so basically, I didn’t ‘follow’ the last page inside but I did hear it and everyone else did too. Whatchagonna do?! For those of you who can’t handle it, move back to Germany where they still frown upon graggers in the shul!
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