Chasunah invitation addressees

zaq

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 2:28 pm

Do NOT bring kids to a simcha without asking the baalei hasimcha if it's OK.
Do NOT bring kids to a simcha without asking the baalei hasimcha if it's OK.
Do NOT even THINK of bringing kids to a simcha without asking the baalei hasimcha if it's OK.

Do not sub your dc for your dh because your dh can't make it, or your six-year old dd who wants to go for your 15-year-old ds who doesn't, or because it's sep seating and dh or ds won't know anyone because the kallah is YOUR best friend. For all you know, the baalei hasimcha have a whole B list of people they couldn't invite due to limited resources and are just waiting for people to say they can't come to be able to invite more distant people. Furthermore, many people don't want kids at their simcha, as is their right. I have seen simchas turn into a zoo because people brought young children who weren't invited. I have also seen seating arrangements messed up because people brought their children "who doesn't need a seat or a place setting, he'll eat from my plate" except that when the meal was served, the kid made a scene and sat down and refused to budge, and poor Mrs. Keinglick, who was assigned to that table, had to fend for herself somewherre else.

Please don't do this. Call the baalei hasimcha and ask.

watergirl

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 2:44 pm

What zaq said. I have been to many weddings where lap children have become eating children and I have heard people ask the waiters to bring out full portions for uninvited children. Those meals often cost over $40/plate! You bet the family is charged for them.

My sil just got married and she asked her bridesmaids not to bring their babies to the wedding. One did, figuring that the bride wouldn't notice, a babysitter is expencive, etc. OMG did she notice.

Unless the invitation says "Mrs. Watergirl plus guest", don't add names!

When I got married (TWICE!), I was shocked when people added in names to the response card. I called many of the people who added their children to clarify. One even added a note that her child will require kid friendly cuisine! uMMM... NO.