Do you make your husband's lunch?

wife2

Sun, Oct 27 2013, 11:38 pm

I am curious if most women make a lunch for their husbands every day or if their husbands make their own lunch. If you do make his lunch, please specify if your husband works or learns. If lunch is provided at kollel/yeshiva/work, please do not vote "no". Only vote no if your husband makes his own lunch. If someone else makes his lunch (child or maid), then please vote other.

wife2

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 12:11 am

dimyona wrote:

We each surprise each other whenever. I'm curious what the point of the poll is. What works for some couples may not work for others. Every household divides chores differently.

You are right - there is no right or wrong. Some women stay home, others work. Some have time, some don't. Some men are capable of packing decent lunches and some just won't eat or will grab random snacks. I guess the point is just to see if most women leave their husbands to make their own lunch since they are capable adults or if they view it as something special that they do for their husbands. The main thing I wonder is if women view this as a chore or a privilege. Is it just another thing you do or do you do it special for your husband since he is able to do it himself?

zaq

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 12:12 am

Nope, nope, nope. I work F/T outside of the home. If I can make my own lunch, my dh can do the same. For a short while I made dh lunches because I wanted him to eat more healthily--and cheaply-- and I knew he wouldn't bother packing a healthy lunch himself. However, he is an intelligent adult, not a six-year-old, and I am his partner, not his mother. If he chooses to go without lunch, or empty his wallet buying takeout when he could be making his own lunch for a fraction of the cost, well, that's his decision.

A woman could get sucked into being a virtual slave to her dh if she started doing all kinds of things for him that he is perfectly capable of doing himself. Which is fine if you're not working and have no kids or don't mind being a virtual slave.

zaq

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 12:16 am

You left out an option--he buys his lunch, in a restaurant, luncheonette or take-out place. I'm sure that plenty of men in big cities with large Jewish populations eat out if they work in an area with kosher eateries.

dimyona

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 12:18 am

wife2 wrote:

dimyona wrote:

We each surprise each other whenever. I'm curious what the point of the poll is. What works for some couples may not work for others. Every household divides chores differently.

In our case, it's definitely viewed as a treat rather than a duty. We don't always prepare lunch, and like I said, when we do it's as a nice surprise for each other. And of course if I prepare lunch for myself I'll do the same for my husband since it's no extra work. We're both busy people.

I'm actually the one who's less likely to eat lunch if it's not prepared, so I guess I'm the less capable adult in this regard. Smile

RachelEve14

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 1:53 am

I voted other. If dh wants what the kids are having, or tells me what he wants while I"m making their lunches, I will make for him too. If he doesn't know or doesn't want what they want (or something easy to fix), he makes it or buys.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 1:59 am

RachelEve14 wrote:

Sort of this. If we are still in the kitchen, after supper and he gets out all of the things needed for the sandwich, I can make it for him. But if he randomly remembers at 11 pm, then no way. But also, its not his lunch. Its his mid morning "snack" and he has lunch at about 2:30 that he buys.

DrMom

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 6:29 am

zaq wrote:

This.
If were a SAHM and in charge of the cooking, then maybe I would take on this task. But it never even occurred to me to make lunch for my DH every day.

He eats what he wants - there are plenty of places to grab food here. Or he takes a tupperware container of leftovers to heat up at the office.

sunny90

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 6:33 am

Yes--he works from 7-5 in a very physically demanding job, and we can't afford for him to buy himself lunch every day.
It's a pain sometimes but I see how much it means to him--so much so that he'd prefer to help me out by making our 2 kids' lunches so that I can make his (when I'm pressed for time) because he likes the feeling that I made it for him.

Talya

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 6:49 am

Sometimes. I have an odd work schedule so it sometimes works out. Some days we spend lunch together and then one of us (usually me) makes it for both. If I'm going to be out late that day and I make something more than a sandwitch for me I'll obviously make it for him too. Some days he surprises me and packs my lunch. I like those days!

Tablepoetry

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 6:54 am

No, never.
One of us goes to the bakery every morning for fresh pitas or rolls. Then whoever is less rushed that morning makes the kids' sandwiches (often it is him).
We each make our own sandwiches.

(ETA - he works f/t, but not crazy hours).

amother

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 7:19 am

Yes, I make lunch for DH every morning. No problem. He works hard and I'm a SAHM. What I enjoy most is when he texts me every day at lunchtime that he's having his lunch and "thank you, it's great!" Sometimes I tuck a note into his lunch bag telling him I'm thinking about him...

amother

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 7:29 am

Voted no. He makes his own lunches and most of mine because he does the cooking and he makes sure to cook things for my lunch when he makes dinner. Then I bring them to work and assemble them into a lunch there.

For example yesterday, in addition to our dinner, he baked a sweet potato and roasted a sliced eggplant. Today at work I will heat the potato and make a sandwich out of the roast eggplant slices with some store bought spread, bread and cheese I brought with me.

We both work FT.

RachelEve14

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 7:30 am

zaq wrote:

A woman could get sucked into being a virtual slave to her dh if she started doing all kinds of things for him that he is perfectly capable of doing himself. Which is fine if you're not working and have no kids or don't mind being a virtual slave.

I'm perfectly capable of taking out the garbage, putting away my laundry, and washing floors and bathrooms, yet dh does these jobs 90% of the time. It's called being a partnership and helping each other out, not being a virtual slave.