Is this a reasonable request??

amother

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 3:37 pm

I am having a guest next week who is staying for 2 weeks.

I don't have much room, but I am moving the kids around to make room for her because she is a special person in our lives and I want to help.

She is hard to reach so when we finally spoke I asked her if there is anything she doesn't eat allergies etc and this was her reply:
"I eat all animal proteins, fish chicken, meat and eggs, all fruits and vegetables, no condiments, carbs, only organic cold pressed olive oil, and spices. All I need is good real food, I can forego the organic for the 2 weeks don't worry about that"

What do you think? I don't make major animal protein for meals. We eat cereal and milk for breakfast, tuna or PB or cheese sandwhiches (or leftovers) for lunch, and we eat stretched protein for supper ex chicken lo mein, meatballs, meat sauce, stir fry, lasagna (meat or dairy) kebobs etc. Once a week we have chicken or fish proper. It's a lot of money to eat the way she is asking.

To protect her privacy I will not include too many details but she is not well to do and this visit is not a leisure trip. She eats this way because she believes it is optimal for her health so she is not going to eat otherwise Sad

Any advice?

watergirl

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 4:21 pm

You didn't know about these things before making the offer to host her I am assuming? Its really gracious of you to have her stay for 2 weeks, it sounds like a chessed is involved. It sounds like there is some wiggle room in terms of cooking, meaning, a non gebroks menu might work for her, minus the potatos of course, although you said she will eat all vegetables, so maybe ask her about the starch ones.

There has been a recipe for a pizza with a cauliflower cruse that has been making its way around facebook, if you have access to that, it might be worth a try!

bubbebia

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 4:29 pm

Wow! And I thought it was difficult when my vegan kids come! I'm sorry, but I think it is somewhat presumptuous of her to expect you will completely change things for 2 weeks without her contributing something to the "cause". Especially if you have limited means. What about using tofu or seitan? I make stir fries with both of those and while she might not eat rice or noodles, it doesn't mean you cannot make those for the rest of your family. Just serve the meat/veg separately instead of mixing them. And what does she mean by "no condiments"? Will she use soy sauce? You can make what my family calls "frootytata" but is actually a version of a frittata. Beat up some eggs with some milk, salt and pepper. Slice up some onions, peppers, zucchini, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, Put them in the bottom of a greased baking dish, pour in your eggs, grate up some cheese (we usually use cheddar) and bake until done. You can serve with rice, if you want a carb, on the side. It's a relatively inexpensive meal and very filling. You can also make seitan fajitas with storebought "chicken" and "beef" strips or chunks of seitan. Saute peppers and onions, add your seitan and spice up with some cumin, salt, pepper, fresh garlic, paprika and chili powder. You can serve in corn tortillas for the rest of the family if she won't eat them.

There is no reason you can't make meatballs. Make your own sauce using a big can of crushed tomatoes, some finely chopped garlic and some chopped onions. Let it simmer for a little bit and add in some fresh torn basil. That's all you need for spaghetti sauce. Add your meatballs and you can make some spaghetti for the rest of the family. Serve with a nice green salad.

While this is inconvenient, you can make healthy delicious meals that are not overly expensive for your family taking her needs into account. And maybe she'll even volunteer to purchase and prepare things for your family if she's spending such a long time with you. There are wonderful blogs out there that will help you find simple, inexpensive meals with good ingredients. Just takes a couple of minutes.

Good luck. Keep us posted on how it went.

amother

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 4:34 pm

Op here

It was pretty clear from her answer that she eats animal proteins with veggies as a side, I can make believe I heard otherwise but my family will not eat vegetable based meals. I also don't want to make food special for her and then she doesn't eat it because she doesn't eat any condiments or carbs. She was so happy to tell me that she is really simple, roast chicken, grilled cutlets, braised or grilled meat and veggies. Ya she's right it is simple but expensive Sad

She doesn't eat dairy, that I knew already actually, which is why I thought to ask if there was anything else.

Am I being a brat? Do I just suck it up and pay it out over the next few months?

Mrs Bissli

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 4:34 pm

I don't think what your friend wrote is unreasonable. Au contraire I think she's showing enough flexibility in list of what she can eat. Much easier than accomodating a guest, for example, who is allergic to nuts and wheat, doesn't eat fish, starches and no veggies, etc. Basically sounds like anything so long as it's healthy. She didn't demand being served meat. The only bit is no carbs, no condiments and specific types of oil (which I think you can ask her to bring, as suggested by Liba. If you feel comfortable, you can let her use your kitchen so she can prepare her foods. Just stock up on eggs and fresh veggies.

Last edited by Mrs Bissli on Sun, Nov 03 2013, 5:07 pm; edited 1 time in total

FranticFrummie

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 5:01 pm

You can explain to your family that she is on a medical diet, and prepare her a small amount of meat on the side. That way it wouldn't be terribly expensive for you. Poached chicken can be made in advance, and reheated with a little of the broth for each meal. Same thing with fish. Hardboiled or scrambled eggs are easy.

I've been on this diet before, and it absolutely makes a huge difference. I try to keep a modified version of this diet, with very little starch or dairy, and I feel so much better. If I go off it, the inflammation shows up right away.

I do agree that she should have told you this far in advance, though. If I were her, I would have offered to bring my own meat, as that can be expensive. I hope she offers you a bit of money to offset the grocery costs.

You're doing an amazing thing, and your rewards should be multiplied for your efforts.

Raisin

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 5:16 pm

I think it will be easier for her to (mostly) make her own food, or you make her seperate meals. Unless whatever you are making can be easily adapted. eg chicken stir fry without noodles or rice should be fine. meat sauce can be served with sauteed cabbage.

If she is on this type of diet she is used to it being repetitive, don't worry if she eats chicken and salad almost every night.

I agree it would be reasonable of her to offer to defray some of the costs. Is she restricting the amount of protein she eats as well? or does she fill up on it? That can make a big difference.

imasinger

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 5:32 pm

Can you find individually frozen chicken cutlets? Empire sells them. Buy that, some frozen patties of chopped meat, extra eggs, and maybe one other meat as a treat if you wish. Have whatever fresh fruits and veggies you normally keep on hand. Set a time each day when she can prepare her own food, and in your head, set a limit of how much extra you are comfortable paying for her food. If you find you are too far above your limit, ask her to help.

And yes, tell the kids she is on a special diet and needs her own food. I think it's a great lesson in hachnassat orchim.

I bet it will be easier than you think.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 6:09 pm

Regarding the "no condiments rule", DD has this thing where she hates "stuff" on her food, and she doesn't even like her foods "touching each other". I've become an expert at pulling her meals aside first, before I season the rest of the dishes. I simmer my sauces on the side, and pour them over our food at the last minute. The flavors are nicer that way anyway. (pasta and rice don't get soggy, etc.)

If her food cools off before I'm done with the family meal, I just pop it in the microwave for a few seconds, and it's all good.

Raw

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 6:30 pm

This is pretty much exactly as I like to eat for health reasons too. I would never expect a host to go out of their way to accommodate my eating habits though, and I realize that it's typically a more expensive diet.

Here are a couple suggestions though that might make this easier for both of you:

Chicken soup or a soup with meat and vegetables is filling, suitable and not extravagant. If you usually add noodles or couscous, just keep them in a separate bowl.

I'm sure she doesn't need fish/meat/chicken every night. Eggs and a salad or an omelette should be fine.

She is probably very used to picking her way through meals. For example, eating only the mince meat and broccoli and leaving the pasta on the side. Maybe you can just do the separating for her in a small bowl before assembling the dish as you usually do.

I'm sure she doesnt expect anything gourmet and will just be really thankful to be able to adhere to her diet.

Try to have as many fresh fruits and vegetables on hand so she has something to snack on or to supplement meals that may not be enough for her.

She will probably buy some of her own food anyway (and definitely will if she gets hungry enough).

Don't stress about this too much, it will probably be easier than you expect.

Good luck.

PAMOM

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 7:48 pm

I also have special dietary needs and my family just calls before I come or takes me to the grocery store when I get there. I often have different foods and they explain to the kids that I can't eat some things so I need others. How about these suggestions from my diet ( similar to hers): big salads with leftover vegetables ( or with plain tuna or a hard-boiled egg); plain yoghurt ( no flavoring added) with a few berries or raisins if she likes; hard-boiled eggs, canned tuna with lemon juice; kippers and onion ( yum). I often eat yoghurt 4 times a week for breakfast or lunch. Google Atkins diet for soup ideas, but chicken soup with lots if veggies was a great suggestion. Tomato -based soups. Relax . You'll be fine. Put out a few things for lunch and ask which she'd like. She's coming to see you, not to eat gourmet anyhow!

Marion

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 11:06 pm

Does she eat soy? My mom eats a similar diet, but she DOES eat dairy, and that makes a huge difference. She lived on Greek (or similar) salad when she was here for two weeks in the summer. And shakshuka. And whatever meat meals we had; she just skipped the starchy side. And she cheated a bit, knowing it was only two weeks. She brought a few cans of tuna because they're expensive, and because we no longer had fish in the house (due to a DS' allergy).