Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
I lent out my car seat & got it back with a huge stain
1  2  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

smss




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:33 am
the cover's not washable. I tried using baby wipes, but it only sort of helped. would you say something?
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:40 am
I would

"I see there's a stain. What happened?". keep it light if they react good.
Back to top

Bambamama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:41 am
Personally, I wouldn't say anything. What would you hope to gain?
Back to top

fiddle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:46 am
yes. something like,
"I lent this to you without a mark and you gave it back like this. I cant clean it, please replace the cover. thanks. and next time if you borrow something from me or anyone for that matter, please take care of it because its not yours, and at least have the decency to apologize for ruining it. thank you."
Back to top

amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:50 am
fiddle wrote:
yes. something like,
"I lent this to you without a mark and you gave it back like this. I cant clean it, please replace the cover. thanks. and next time if you borrow something from me or anyone for that matter, please take care of it because its not yours, and at least have the decency to apologize for ruining it. thank you."


Replacing the cover might be impossible without buying a new car seat. Don't say anything. She probably knows what she did and there's nothing she can do about it.
Back to top

smss




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:51 am
Bambamama wrote:
Personally, I wouldn't say anything. What would you hope to gain?


I would hope to gain a carseat in the condition the one I gave them to was Smile

am I crazy? there have been times I borrowed things (books, clothing) and they got ruined in my house. so...I bought new ones to return to the people I borrowed from. I don't understand why they didn't even apologize.
Back to top

smss




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 7:52 am
we wanted to sell this car seat. now instead of a "car seat in new condition" I have a "car seat w/ stain on cover" to sell.
Back to top

Bambamama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 8:08 am
smss wrote:
Bambamama wrote:
Personally, I wouldn't say anything. What would you hope to gain?


I would hope to gain a carseat in the condition the one I gave them to was Smile

am I crazy? there have been times I borrowed things (books, clothing) and they got ruined in my house. so...I bought new ones to return to the people I borrowed from. I don't understand why they didn't even apologize.


I hear. No you're not crazy. There's nothing wrong with saying something and seeing what comes of it. But if you don't have a solution, expect the person who returned it that way with no explanation/apology not to offer a solution either.

It is extremely frustrating to have your things ruined after lending them out, I've been there.

I would just plan out what you want before you confront her. Is it feasible to replace the cover? Would you want her to buy a whole new carseat? Would you want money?
Back to top

Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 8:17 am
If you want to know the halacha, here's a link to businesshalacha.com: businesshalacha.com. They have a hotline and take emailed questions. We often read their weekly newsletter, and they get lots of questions similar to yours.
Back to top

yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 8:19 am
Ruchel wrote:
I would

"I see there's a stain. What happened?". keep it light if they react good.

Absolutely this!! I'm sorry fiddle, but the way you said it sounds very accusatory and she most likely would get very defensive.
Back to top

Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 8:20 am
Fiddle, isn't that a bit blunt? I think Ruchel's idea is best. They might not even know that stain happened, or might not be the type that is bothered by dirt and it's a gentle way of letting them know it bothers you.
Back to top

etky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 8:40 am
Either what Ruchel said (keeping it light) or just say nothing and write it off (and never lend her anything you value again).
Whenever I lent out baby equipment - and I lent out tons of stuff in my time - I never expected to get it back in the same condition. There is a lot of wear and tear and mess where babies and children are concerned, even when people take pains to keep things clean and in good working order . Not everything is fixable, washable, replaceable etc. and you have to take into account when you lend out equipment that it will come back in less than pristine condition. If you're not prepared to take this risk then you shouldn't lend out the equipment, especially if you had in mind to sell it. This of course does not excuse your friend. She should have acknowledged the damage. Better yet she should have offered some sort of solution and/or compensation or at least bought you a small gift in the way of apology.
Back to top

nyer1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 8:43 am
I wouldn't say anything ...
Babies get things dirty ... U kinda have to expect it
Back to top

trying1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 8:48 am
I think that there are 2 standards - 1 that we ourselves have to keep, I.e how I would behave and 2 how I expect others to behave. For myself, I would expect perfect in this case apologizing and paying for a new car seat as appropriate but for someone else, I think its lifnim Mshuras Hadin to just forget it - mistakes happen and she is probably too embarrassed to say anything.
Back to top

fiddle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 8:54 am
im sorry, for an outfit, yes I would ignore it. for a blanket ok - id cut my losses. but a car seat? not so cheap, not so replaceable. you ruin it, you pay for it.
if I EVER borrowed something expensive, I would be EXTRA careful.
its like going into a store with a kid and they break a glass, you pay for it. what should you tell the owner - sorry kids break things - deal with it?
no, its unacceptable.
you ruin something you pay.
and I doubt she didnt notice. she was probably hoping you wouldnt.
seriously? its a car seat! they cost over a hundred bux, take responsibility for your actions or yes, I will be blunt. sue me.
Back to top

Happy18




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 9:03 am
For the future its a good idea to only lend things out that if they get ruined its not a problem. Otherwise confirm that it will be replaced or fixed before lending it. It sounds mean, but it prevents a lot of frustration.
Back to top

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 9:04 am
its generally not recommended to buy a second hand car seat so I don't know if it would be worth your while selling.
Back to top

Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 9:04 am
Also it makes a difference if you volunteered to lend it or they ask. I don't think anyone should volunteer to lend out baby items that they are makpid about. And if it's a long term loan as opposed to a one-time thing - forget about it.

Fiddle, I understand. But you usually get better cooperation if the tone is less accusatory.
Back to top

yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 9:09 am
fiddle wrote:
take responsibility for your actions or yes, I will be blunt. sue me.

You're absolutely right, we have to take responsibility for our actions, but the op is not asking what she should do because she made the stain.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 05 2013, 9:52 am
fiddle wrote:
im sorry, for an outfit, yes I would ignore it. for a blanket ok - id cut my losses. but a car seat? not so cheap, not so replaceable. you ruin it, you pay for it.
if I EVER borrowed something expensive, I would be EXTRA careful.
its like going into a store with a kid and they break a glass, you pay for it. what should you tell the owner - sorry kids break things - deal with it?
no, its unacceptable.
you ruin something you pay.
and I doubt she didnt notice. she was probably hoping you wouldnt.
seriously? its a car seat! they cost over a hundred bux, take responsibility for your actions or yes, I will be blunt. sue me.


I actually agree with you. The problem is you could lose your friends over this. I had two situations where I felt 100% right. The person who wronged me stopped speaking to me. Maybe it was embarrassment or maybe they felt I was too blunt. People are sensitive and don't accept responsibility. One situation involved an angry teenage girl kicking my door and leaving marks. Another situation involved someone overcharging on my account. I gave a limit and she went over it a few times.
Back to top
Page 1 of 2 1  2  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
I want my $40,000 a month paycheck back…
by amother
139 Today at 11:24 am View last post
Emergency! Car insurance
by amother
16 Today at 9:27 am View last post
Hurt my back
by amother
3 Yesterday at 4:19 pm View last post
Waterdale collection or A&M judaica
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:15 pm View last post
Jack & Becky pjs
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 2:52 pm View last post