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Am I reading too much into this?
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 14 2013, 7:16 pm
Do we not have a responsibility to be DLKZ?

Which is more likely
1. He meant something innocent...lots of mitzvos
2. He said something stupid that he would have said to his friends and is now horribly embarrassed that it came out of his mouth and is hoping it never comes up again

OR

3. He intentionally made a zexual remark to his rebbe's teacher at the Shabbos table.

I don't know about you (actually I do, from the notes above), but I'm going with 1 or 2.
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Kfar




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 14 2013, 9:27 pm
what could your DH possibly say to him? "what did you mean by 613 = mitzvah time?"

Who knows what he meant -- let it go or tell DH if it makes you feel better, but I wouldn't insist that DH talk to him about this.
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freidasima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 15 2013, 2:55 am
He's a bochur.
Many bochurim are somewhat crass.
He was more than somewhat crass.
If you didn't say anything then, leave it. Some things have to be said or done immediately.
Teach your kids never to be crass. that's about all we can do as mothers.
(hugs) for having gone through such a yucky thing...
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 15 2013, 3:42 am
Kfar wrote:
what could your DH possibly say to him? "what did you mean by 613 = mitzvah time?"

Who knows what he meant -- let it go or tell DH if it makes you feel better, but I wouldn't insist that DH talk to him about this.


I would mention it to DH, but then let DH decide how to handle it.

You've heard of a "one track mind"? Bochurim have a "one mitzvah mind". It just goes with the territory. As I tell DD "You don't have to say everything. Some thoughts really need to stay in your head."
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 15 2013, 4:57 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
Kfar wrote:
what could your DH possibly say to him? "what did you mean by 613 = mitzvah time?"

Who knows what he meant -- let it go or tell DH if it makes you feel better, but I wouldn't insist that DH talk to him about this.


I would mention it to DH, but then let DH decide how to handle it.

You've heard of a "one track mind"? Bochurim have a "one mitzvah mind". It just goes with the territory. As I tell DD "You don't have to say everything. Some thoughts really need to stay in your head."


yep, bochrim are stupid.

If that's what he meant, it was for sure a big oopsy, mouth spoke without brain in gear moment. I ignore such comments, confronting or responding to them in any way is just making the issue bigger, I find the only way to handle these things without causing myself more embarrassment is to move swiftly on, nothing to see here....

How to handle my MIL asking about how my zex life improved after I lost 20 pounds, now that I could do with help for LOL Rolling Eyes
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 15 2013, 5:18 am
I can also type in "0" -- which is the probability of you ever getting invited into my home again.
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Liba




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 15 2013, 5:47 am
I would just assume he has been listening to too much Uncle Moishy.

There are lots of mitzvos. It is you who decided which one he was referring to, if he was referring to one particular mitzvah at all.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 15 2013, 8:20 am
OP here. Thanks for all your responses.

I guess I was kind of wondering if I am the one with the dirty mind. But most of you seem to agree that's probably what he meant. Oh well. I did just ignore it at the time.

I suppose in certain circumstances I would give a cold stare and say "I beg your pardon" to an inappropriate remark. Here, I think, given the setting, I was a bit shocked, doubted whether he could possibly have meant what I thought he meant etc.

So if I said, "That was inappropriate, young man" and he didn't mean it that way, that would be worse, right? Cause then it is the Rebbetzin who has the dirty mind.

I actually didn't tell DH til a couple of days later, and I'm not even sure I know which bochur it was (there were a few) so next time he's invited I can pretend I never knew, anyhow!

Have a good Shabbos, ladies, and may all your guests be tactful and appropriate (and offer to help with the dishes, if you like them to!)
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