Split Ends - Mishpacha serial

Mama Bear

Wed, Jan 07 2015, 9:26 pm

I'm glad the series was ended with a neat ribbon tying it all up, but I felt it was a little cartoonish - first of all JustMeMyself I believe this was their vort, not their wedding - seriously, who invites an ex shvigger, a son's therapist (total breach of boundaries), and an ex HUSBAND to one's 2nd vort? Very cartoonish and a leap of imagination.

Secondly, I'm a little bit peeved by Riva's caricaturish depiction of ADHD. I am an adult with ADD and I have a son with ADD. I am neither like Bin, nor like Shimmy. I received the type of parenting Shimmy got, yet I was not magically cured. I still struggle tremendously with time management, organization, and get easily addicted to things like online TV bc it's such an easy way out from the overwhelming responsibilities of housekeeping. So for her to imply that if you won't be a strict parent you'll end up with a Bin, is very upsetting, (especially bc some of my relatives keep hinting that to me). Adults with ADD who have such a hard time with their own self control and discipline have an ever harder time enforcing boundaries for their children because they lose focus/patience quickly. Also, my son (probably) has (undiagnosed) ADD too (based on how he's very similar to how I was as a child), but he is a brilliant, gifted child. Avi had trouble learning - but guess what, most kids with adhd are brilliant kids who are bored becuse they grasp the material immediately and can't be bothered sitting through the rest of the time in class. So to me, much of the depiction of the characters was very annoying, because she painted ADHD as something that can only be fixed either with parenting or with medication. All my mother's great parenting did nothing to help me be more organized. Only medication helped me (which I unfortunately have been off for a few years due to pregnancy and nursing). And even now when off the meds, I am not irresponsible or rude and oblivious like Bin. So I didnt like how she portrayed the. Oh, and one more thing -- I'm sorry, but if my husband would treat me the way Elisheva treats Bin - like a child -- I'd be extremely offended. It's not Elisheva's job to be Bin's mother / coach. I think Rivky is my favorite character in the whole thing, because she did not get fazed by Sender's ADHD and she didn't make him feel worthless about it either. Oh, and one more thing: I think Libby needed a lot of therapy herself to deal with the divorce, and Avi, and she went about the whole thing the wrong way.

Sorry for the long ramble. I loved the serial, I just dont like when Riva's serials become Very-Special-Episodey where she hammers home the same point over and over, and where she portrays a condition like adhd (or panic attacks, in the prevous serial), as a very black and white thing with no shades of gray.

I wonder what she'll come up with next Smile

Last edited by Mama Bear on Wed, Jan 07 2015, 9:33 pm; edited 2 times in total

PinkFridge

Wed, Jan 07 2015, 9:29 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

I think Bin crashed. (And doesn't he live a few hours away now?) I found the ending satisfying in keeping with the rest of it. Though I hear your objections.
And poor Elisheva. When it comes to fixer uppers, houses yes, husbands no.

Coke Slurpee

Wed, Jan 07 2015, 9:45 pm

I can't comment on the last chapter as I didn't get it yet.

As far as the adhd avi type kid. My son is like that. Smart in his own way, but struggles in school academically. He is sweet, well meaning, funny, and impulsive. He can be adHd (ie. really loud and silly, and hyper) but at times the biggest space cadet, aka Add. Without explicit specific instruction to do something it will take hours. As an adult with responisibilities, this can translate into irresponsible Bin, minus the personality.
I don't think her portrayal is unrealistic.

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 10:15 am

Mama Bear- You are right that it is not Elisheva's job to be her husband's parent/coach but that is the challenge of being the spouse of someone with ADD. And when your spouse behaves irresponsibly and child-like, it is very very hard not to fall into that role. It is something I have to actively work on. It makes me cry to sleep and feel like this whole marriage just is not worth it.
I understand that not every spouse is like that, but the same way that you didn't like the way she portrayed people with ADD- there's not just one type or correct way to portray this all. This is my reality.

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 10:17 am

Coke Slurpee wrote:

I feel my husband is just that- no hyperactivity so no ambition and there is the irresponsibility and spacing.