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-> Fashion and Beauty
RMama
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 Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:42 pm
Because I really, really hate doing it. I am a modern orthodox (my husband considers us to be simply 'YU') 25-year-old, I have been married for four and a half years, and I have tried hats, and scarves, but Shaitels are the only thing that works for me. I must have hair.
Right now, My two tired old wigs are as old as a kindergartner and they pretty much look like mop heads. We cannot afford the expense of a new one right now, but can we afford for the mommy of this family to leave the house every day feeling hideously ugly? I just found out that I am pregnant with my second (HOORAY!) and I can't diet, or do much to improve my body image, which is abysmal, but this added shaitel problem has been wreaking havoc on my self esteem for months. WHO EXACTLY is benefiting from me having to feel like I am the ugliest woman in the room wherever I go?
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amother
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:50 pm
Time to take a loan and get yourself a nice wig you can be happy in.
Its worth it.
I did. And never regretted it even though it took years to pay off the monthly payments.
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MaBelleVie
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:54 pm
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You can get a beautiful wig for $1000. So long as youre responsible about making payments, you can finance it with 0% interest and pay off a very small amount each month.
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amother
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:56 pm
| RMama wrote: | Because I really, really hate doing it. I am a modern orthodox (my husband considers us to be simply 'YU') 25-year-old, I have been married for four and a half years, and I have tried hats, and scarves, but Shaitels are the only thing that works for me. I must have hair.
Right now, My two tired old wigs are as old as a kindergartner and they pretty much look like mop heads. We cannot afford the expense of a new one right now, but can we afford for the mommy of this family to leave the house every day feeling hideously ugly? I just found out that I am pregnant with my second (HOORAY!) and I can't diet, or do much to improve my body image, which is abysmal, but this added shaitel problem has been wreaking havoc on my self esteem for months. WHO EXACTLY is benefiting from me having to feel like I am the ugliest woman in the room wherever I go? |
I rarely suggest this, but I agree with the mother above. Can you take a loan or borrow from parents? Get yourself a fall or a wig you feel good in. Its a priority. You wear it every day. If you have brown hair, even the mazalis look really good. My friend just got a pretty 18" fall for $400 on sale. Or perhaps one of the freedas from the outlet? I know Sary is having a sale on their falls now too if you want really long.
Its really important you feel good about yourself and the way you cover your hair or you will dread it.
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PinkFridge
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:56 pm
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Any local resale or gemachs?
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amother
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:57 pm
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Wear your old wigs as a fall with a hat or bandana on top. You still have hair but quality of the wig doesnt matter as much
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amother
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 8:59 pm
| amother wrote: | | RMama wrote: | Because I really, really hate doing it. I am a modern orthodox (my husband considers us to be simply 'YU') 25-year-old, I have been married for four and a half years, and I have tried hats, and scarves, but Shaitels are the only thing that works for me. I must have hair.
Right now, My two tired old wigs are as old as a kindergartner and they pretty much look like mop heads. We cannot afford the expense of a new one right now, but can we afford for the mommy of this family to leave the house every day feeling hideously ugly? I just found out that I am pregnant with my second (HOORAY!) and I can't diet, or do much to improve my body image, which is abysmal, but this added shaitel problem has been wreaking havoc on my self esteem for months. WHO EXACTLY is benefiting from me having to feel like I am the ugliest woman in the room wherever I go? |
I rarely suggest this, but I agree with the mother above. Can you take a loan or borrow from parents? Get yourself a fall or a wig you feel good in. Its a priority. You wear it every day. If you have brown hair, even the mazalis look really good. My friend just got a pretty 18" fall for $400 on sale. Or perhaps one of the freedas from the outlet? I know Sary is having a sale on their falls now too if you want really long.
Its really important you feel good about yourself and the way you cover your hair or you will dread it. |
You can also use "bill me later" through paypall with 0% interest and pay it out over 6 months. I know you can use it with freedas. I am sure other companies, too, I am just not sure which ones.
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greenfire
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 9:01 pm
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oh gosh - I feel for you ... a woman's gotta feel pretty - covering my hair made me feel just as you describe ...
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Marion
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 10:36 pm
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What about cheap synthetics? When I say cheap I really mean it...someone recently posted a link to a Chinese site for "fashion wigs".
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ValleyMom
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 10:39 pm
I find it fascinating that everyone is completely ignoring the OP's first statement:
I HATE IT.
I believe she is alluding to her deep hatred for covering her hair.
Why isn't anyone addressing this statement?????????
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FranticFrummie
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 10:46 pm
| ValleyMom wrote: | I find it fascinating that everyone is completely ignoring the OP's first statement:
I HATE IT.
I believe she is alluding to her deep hatred for covering her hair.
Why isn't anyone addressing this statement????????? |
Probably because Orthodox = covering your hair. Many of us don't consider it "optional".
*ducks and runs for cover*
That said, I would be willing to give your sheitels a good dye and condition, and then style them for you. I use a natural dye that will make your wig look amazing without changing the color. It just evens out the sun bleached and faded look, and gives it more depth and highlights. It will have a lot more shine and bounce, too. All of my clients rave about it.
For you, no charge. PM me if you want my contact info. I'm very committed to women covering their hair, and I'd be happy to do a mitzvah if it helps you do a mitzvah.
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amother
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 10:58 pm
| ValleyMom wrote: | I find it fascinating that everyone is completely ignoring the OP's first statement:
I HATE IT.
I believe she is alluding to her deep hatred for covering her hair.
Why isn't anyone addressing this statement????????? |
I didn't interpret OPs post that way. The thread title and posting were not compatible. My understanding was that she was ok wearing a nice wig. I think frankly, everyone on this post seems like they've been in the same position as OP so we are all empathizing with her.
I will rephrase what I said before - OP if you want to keep covering - buy a new wig, borrow from parents, take out a small loan, finance it. Its worth it, you need it to feel good about yourself and the mitzvah. Ive been in your shoes. Men don't always understand because its not a priority to them. I MAKE DH understand that its a necessity. If he needed a new talit/shoes/tefillin/suit/pants/shirts etc because his were completely worn and unwearable would he have the same reaction? I understand saying no to a 3K wig, but to a $400 wig you can pay in installments? Sell something if you have too.
On the other hand. If you truly HATE covering your hair, and it is the bane of your existence then stop. Everyone has to do what works for them. If keeping this mitzvah is making you miserable, think about if you feel comfortable stopping, or maybe pulling some hair out. I am a big believer that everyone needs to find their own path. I HATES wearing stockings - especially in the miami summer heat. I was always getting runs, throwing tons of money out the window, and frankly I didn't even think it was necessary - and it wasn't a standard in my community (some do some don't) - so while I will always wear stockings on shabbos or when I am in a community where it is expected - but in my community I decided to stop during the week. This is what works for me. I may change my mind down the road but this is my decision.
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amother
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 11:04 pm
| RMama wrote: | Because I really, really hate doing it. I am a modern orthodox (my husband considers us to be simply 'YU') 25-year-old, I have been married for four and a half years, and I have tried hats, and scarves, but Shaitels are the only thing that works for me. I must have hair.
Right now, My two tired old wigs are as old as a kindergartner and they pretty much look like mop heads. We cannot afford the expense of a new one right now, but can we afford for the mommy of this family to leave the house every day feeling hideously ugly? I just found out that I am pregnant with my second (HOORAY!) and I can't diet, or do much to improve my body image, which is abysmal, but this added shaitel problem has been wreaking havoc on my self esteem for months. WHO EXACTLY is benefiting from me having to feel like I am the ugliest woman in the room wherever I go? |
She does not seem to mind covering with a wig. That's why. This post seemed more about that she didnt like covering with hats and scarves and that her wigs were worn out. It sounds like she is ok covering with a wig so we are all trying to help her.
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Dolly Welsh
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 11:06 pm
| Marion wrote: | | What about cheap synthetics? When I say cheap I really mean it...someone recently posted a link to a Chinese site for "fashion wigs". |
This. OP hates her wigs. They are tired.
If OP would go to the Paula Young Website, it is probable she can find something to give her the good feeling she would like to have. Or Vogue Wigs.
All of this is not necessary.
Today is red hair day. I am in the mood for red hair. Not for me, I'm blonde, baby, but for you. Like Ron in Harry Potter.
I am too ashamed to post links.
OP, if you have questions about synthetics, PM me.
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 11:10 pm
I know a few women, MO/YU couples where the wife stopped covering for a few different reasons.
OP, unless the wig thing works for you (and there are cheap places to buy wigs - sorry but 1000 dollars is not cheap - Ive seen places for 40 dollars, I will go look it up) then take off the head covering. You have to be a happy person, and I may get tomatoes thrown at me, but as it always gets said in such threads, there are rabbanim (I personally dont know any, but there are posters here who do) out there that say not covering is fine.
Do what is best for you. (How does your husband feel about you not covering?)
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 11:35 pm
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Dolly Welsh
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Mon, Dec 09 2013, 11:37 pm
Yes, Paula Young is the main place for frum women who want wigs online, especially natural-looking synthetics.
Look at the long straight ones.
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DrMom
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Tue, Dec 10 2013, 12:43 am
| ValleyMom wrote: | I find it fascinating that everyone is completely ignoring the OP's first statement:
I HATE IT.
I believe she is alluding to her deep hatred for covering her hair.
Why isn't anyone addressing this statement????????? |
I read the OP's post as:
"I didn't mind covering when my wigs were new and fresh, but *now that they are old and ratty*, I hate wearing them because it is not flattering anymore."
Not:
"I hate covering my hair in any way, shape, or form."
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amother
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Tue, Dec 10 2013, 1:15 am
A YU girl's not going to want to wear a synthetic wig. Its just not done. You could get a jap fall for around 300 I think. Mazali fall is 399, 12" fall is $449 and you can finance over 6 months. http://www.fortunewigs.com/hum.....rt=3a
Freeda outlet starts around 250 or so.
Sophia wigs start at 700.
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