Seeking help with unconventional low-cost weddding options

persephonefalls

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 9:42 pm

A family member is planning a wedding, and is exploring ideas to keep the wedding low cost.

One of the ideas she's considering is replacing the shmorg with light refreshments, and then having the shmorg after the chuppah in place of a sit-down, plated dinner.

Has anyone tried anything like this? If so, how did it go?

And does anyone know of any venues in the tri-state (New York) area that would consider accommodating this kind of wedding?

Thank you for any help you can provide! Other suggestions are welcome too, of course.

little_mage

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 10:24 pm

A couple of suggestions-look for unconventional venues. We got married in a glass factory (yes, really), and although they'd never worked with an Orthodox wedding before, it worked out great. We didn't have to do much decorating because they used the glass (I realized later that our chuppah was in front of all the x-mas ornaments, but oh, well, they were only glass balls)It wasn't in NY, though, so I can't give an actual recommendation.
Our best decision was using artifical flowers. Michaels put them together for us, and we paid about fifty dollars for two bouquets and half a dozen or so corsages and buttioniers. The best part? I still have mine and it still looks wonderful. My grandmother put her corsage in the fridge because she didn't realize it was fake.
We also used an iPod for dancing music (we had a live musician for the chuppah), but paid $50 for use of our venues AV equipment. We didn't pay for music because we had a friend who offered to put it together, but even if we'd had to buy songs for our playlist, I doubt it would have been more then $100.

Sherri

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 10:37 pm

I have heard of a community Rav having chuppa and then smorg and some dancing at his child's wedding. He had many many obligatory guests and did not want to invite them all to the meal, and this was a nice compromise. They were able to come to the chuppa, have a bite and be mesameach chosson and kallah in one shot.

out-of-towner

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 10:40 pm

Sherri wrote:

This is what was done at my wedding. But the Shmorg was very simple, cake fruit, and drinks. People came to my Chassunah for the Simcha, not for the food!

good times

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 10:44 pm

My in laws live in the tristate area so we got married in the shul that they were members of and got a cheap deal. We used fake flowers for the decoration and got them from a gemach. The only thing that was real was the flowers I was holding. We knew someone who knew someone who catered and got a deal from them. We did not have an official shmorg but did have some deserts and drinks out during that time. Benchers were the cheapest ones from the ou. Also got a deal there. (knew someone who knew someone). My biggest suggestion is see if any of your relatives, friends or soon to be inlaws know anyone in catering, music etc and see if you could get a discount. Also look out for gemachs. Nobody minds lending a lot of the paraphernalia that comes with weddings and there is no need to pay for them. Lastly, think outside the box. Good luck and Mazel tov!!!

Barbara

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 10:45 pm

little_mage wrote:

The venue sounds gorgeous. Wish I could see the photos.

harriet

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 10:58 pm

gumby wrote:

I was at a wedding which was a second marriage that had fruit platters and crackers then buffet dinner after the chupah. It was done in a beautiful hall in New Jersey.The name of the place is the Venetian.

But this is such an expensive hall! Wouldn't they rather have had a simpler hall with more food than buffet dinner in a fancy hall?!!? I guess you see where my priorities lie (with the food, not the hall) Smile

amother

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 11:03 pm

I hope one day it will be acceptable to put up those party tents in your yard or a neighbor or relatives yard and do a wedding like that.

I have been to a few weddings in the Syrian community that were quite wealthy families and at the beginning is only alcohol and hor devoirs then after the chupah is shmorg style dinner.

sped

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 11:06 pm

I also know someone who had dancing immediately after the chupah (and yichud;) )), with light refeshments. Then she had a sit-down seudah for only a few very close family/friends. It was a beautiful simcha, and best of all, people didn't have to stay out for hours to be mesameach!

Queen18

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 11:53 pm

This is commonly done by even the fanciest wealthiest Sephardim at weddings at Shaare Zion. That's an expensive venue but there are probably other cheaper venues in Brooklyn that would accommodate. Maybe King's Terrace or Ahi Ezer?

cbg

Fri, Jan 03 2014, 12:20 am

amother wrote:

And these are quite lavish and cost a pretty penny.

A friend of mine shared flowers with another 2 Kallahs. The florist came and retouched the flowers at each wedding. Of course the weddings were back to back in the same hall. All 3 had the same chupa and centerpieces. Each one ordered their own bouquet. No one else in the wedding party had flowers. She arranged it with the caterer, who new that all of them were on a tight budget.

Raisin

Fri, Jan 03 2014, 5:45 am

at almost all the weddings in the UK, the reception is dairy cream cakes, sandwiches and drinks. think english tea. I don't htink mine had hot drinks but some do. I think mine was set up by volunteers. There is no shmorg at all, just a sit down dinner, but I think a your friends idea is amazing.

theoneandonly

Fri, Jan 03 2014, 5:52 am

A few places I know of in Brooklyn will put out buffet-style food in the men's section for all the bochurim who come. You could probably ask if they can do it in the ladies' section as well.

eli7

Fri, Jan 03 2014, 5:56 am

I love simple weddings! In addition to looking for different venues (we got married in a hall in a school, which was very sweet, cheap, and helps the school), she could consider off-peak days and times. We got married in the afternoon, which also makes a full meal unnecessary; we had lots of salads and a fish dish. People told me it was nicer than the usual heavy meal, plus we could have a dairy cake.

A friend videotaped the wedding as his gift to us and my sister-in-law took pictures.

mazal tov!

imasinger

Fri, Jan 03 2014, 6:32 am

Venue: think unconventional, and call for pricing. Sometimes, places that have not worked with frum Jews before prove to be quite cooperative and reasonable. A friend of mine found a restaurant with a large dance floor that was willing to let a caterer bring in cold food (dairy). It was inexpensive and beautiful.

Flowers/decorations: At my (second) wedding, a friend with access to the dealer warehouses helped me choose fake flowers and wide baskets for centerpieces. The baskets were filled with fresh fruit, and the flowers went around them. Whatever fruit wasn't eaten by guests was donated to a food pantry, and I still use the flowers to decorate our sukkah.

Gown(s): there are gemachs where all you have to pay is cleaning.

Invitations: beware, it often turns out to be more expensive to DIY, so research carefully.

Food: look either for halls that do packages, or cheaper alternatives.

Music: one man band is a good idea.

Hope this helps!

amother

Fri, Jan 03 2014, 6:49 am

My wedding was about a quarter of a million dollars and the entire meal was buffet (or, in other words, a shmorg). So if you do a shmorg for the wedding, people won't necessarily think you did it to be cheap:) I don't know if shmorgs save money though bec they have to take into consideration that everyone might want all of one food and none of the other so they have to make enough of everything.