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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
Maniupulative and lying 3 year old



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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 19 2014, 8:51 pm
My 3yo dd has slowly become extremely manipulative. She has some disabilities but I was told that it should never be an excuse to parenting. When she wants something, she tries every way she can to get it. I used to be able to distract her easily or be able to say no without a fight. Now she makes up lies to get her way. I often hear her telling others "my mommy says I could abc..."

She NEVER cleans up her toys. Today, she asked me if she could play with the ipad. I told her if she cleans up her magnatiles which she threw around, she could use the ipad. Of course, she had the hunger, tired, hurting finger, then hurting foot excuses. I stood firm on her not getting the ipad, because she never cleaned up the toys. I was finally feeling victorious, until she snuck the ipad when I took a phone call (I hardly ever talk on the phone when she is around, but thats a whole other story...) She grabs toys from her brother, but somehow he ends up taking a new toy. She doesn't listen when asked to do things either.

The problem with lying is, I don't think she is old enough to understand the concept of lying. She is only three and I guess she figured out that her her words mean something. Truthful or not if she tells my dh that mommy told her that she can have a treat, she knows if I really would've said it, she would get it.

She doesn't stay in the corner when I punish her, so I put her in the crib for a few minutes. at her level, we talk about what she did, she says sorry and she gets to come out. It definitely helps, but doesn't solve the problem

The only way that I can be effective it to be REALLY FIRM and strict. But I cant do that all the time because
a. Thats not my personality. I'm an easygoing person
b. I don't want to be THAT type of mother who is stern and strict
c. I only use that method for the really important things, because I want to make sure it stays effective.

I know she is only 3, but I have a feeling, based on family personalities, that if I dont nip it now, it will only get worse.

Advice please??? TIA
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 19 2014, 11:42 pm
I'm sorry to hear if your frustrations... But welcome to motherhood!!!

As a mom of 3 kids under the age of 6 the behaviors you're talking about are completely norm & age appropriate. I would never think of considering my kid a manipulator for any of the behaviors you mention. Being dishonest is pretty typical for 3 yr olds as well.

Get yourself a good parenting mentor.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 19 2014, 11:47 pm
You need to learn discipline techniques. I remember being in your stage of life. It's tough. She's young. No reason to label her. You have enough yrs ahead w her to work things thru.

Best advice on getting them to clean up: do it with her!! It's extremely overwhelming for a 3 yr old to have to think of doing clean up themselves. Put on fun music and say "let's see if we can get it all packed up before the songs over"

Don't forget to praaaaise!!!! 90% positive statements in a day!

Good luck!
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 19 2014, 11:47 pm
You need to learn discipline techniques. I remember being in your stage of life. It's tough. She's young. No reason to label her. You have enough yrs ahead w her to work things thru.

Best advice on getting them to clean up: do it with her!! It's extremely overwhelming for a 3 yr old to have to think of doing clean up themselves. Put on fun music and say "let's see if we can get it all packed up before the songs over"

Don't forget to praaaaise!!!! 90% positive statements in a day!

Good luck!
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