Chatan watch inquiry

Ruchel

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 6:48 am

Let him choose/ask him.
Mine did NOT want. He's a watch fan, has tons of them, knows them much more than us, and has all those he wants except the crazy priced ones... bh we didn't just buy a random nice watch. LOL

amother

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 12:14 pm

you might bring them to the store and tell the shop keeper in advance what you want to spend so they show those watches.

My husbands was $1200 4 years ago which was cheap. I think today you may have to spend at least $2000 minimum for a gold watch which is insane if you ask me. But then again Kallah jewelery is a lot more!

Some chasanim are willing to forgo it or to go for a movado with a leather band or even a stainless watch for about $500. I hope your chasan feels that way.

My husband insisted on a gold watch. It wasn't easy for me to get my father to agree to it. Caused me a lot of agmas nefesh but I also didn't want my husband to feel like he was the only one from his family and friends who didn't get a gold watch when that's the norm. Really depends on what the norm is. None of my brothers chose to receive gold watches. They were all learning. My husband works.

Hatzlocha.

MaBelleVie

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 12:38 pm

amother wrote:

Why didn't you pay the difference yourself? I actually paid in full for my husband's watch... It was the only big gift that was from me and not my parents.

BZBEE

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 12:52 pm

Go to your local jeweler and choose some watches within your budget. If the jeweler knows you, he may allow you to take them home overnight to show the chosson so he can choose.
Otherwise tell them to put it aside and tell them the chossons name and that he will be coming by.
If the chosson does not like anything within your range, he can always add his own $$$.

I have seen kallahs do this plenty of times whilst they are in the store.

Thank G-d my husband doesn't have very expensive taste, and he chose a stainless steel which is what his friends were all into at the time.
But we did give him a choice of 2 yellow gold, 2 white gold and stainless steel. My dad got lucky lol.

That being said, I did pay myself for the becher, as well as the esrog pushka.

My parents would love to give everything, but are not millionaires. I would never expect anything from them or ask for more than they can give.
Whatever they gave was extremely generous, and if I wanted to give something extra, I got it myself.

Maya

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 1:44 pm

amother wrote:

My husband insisted on a gold watch. It wasn't easy for me to get my father to agree to it. Caused me a lot of agmas nefesh but I also didn't want my husband to feel like he was the only one from his family and friends who didn't get a gold watch when that's the norm. Really depends on what the norm is. None of my brothers chose to receive gold watches. They were all learning. My husband works.

Hatzlocha.

You are implying that kollel men are ready for forgo gold watches while those bad working men need them. That is wrong. This has to do with personality, and an individual need to conform and be like everyone else. Nothing to do with kollel vs. work.

mandr

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 2:14 pm

I work at a watch place so I got a good deal on a stainless steel watch. Turns out my husband wanted a gold one because he pointed out that you only get a gold one this one time and the stainless steel ones you get for other occasions. He was right, so I found one for the same price in gold. It was about $4000. It was also a designer brand, not one of those companies you only find in Jewish stores. My husband enjoys it a lot.

chocolate chips

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 8:30 pm

When we got engaged my father took dh to the watch store and told them his budget before and let dh choose from about 3 watches his ended up costing around 600/700 GBP something like that.
With my next sister my father did the same and my bil chose the same watch as dh.
With the third sister my father flew out for the lechaim to where they were and picked up the exact same watch in duty free for a couple hundred pounds less. So now all 3 son in laws have the same and all 3 love it Smile

But it does largely depend on your community. Are you buying him an every day silver watch? A gold watch? A mixed?
What is your budget?
Definitely ask him what he wants though if he prefers a weekday or shabbos watch, a pocket watch or a wrist watch and then give him a choice of 2/3 that are within your budget.

MrsDash

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 8:38 pm

I spent $300 on my husband's watch (which he absolutely loves!) and used the money that we saved towards a down payment on a house. People should be thinking about their future, not wasting money on petty gifts that have no foundation in halacha. Something tells me that Avraham and Moshe did not walk around with a Movado or gold watch.

MaBelleVie

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 8:44 pm

MrsDash wrote:

Um what? You make it sound as though it's against halacha to buy someone a gift. Actually, if you want to look at the avos you can glance at the gifts Eliezer brought for Rivka. Gold jewelry from head to toe.

Certainly people who can't afford it should spend their money wisely.

watergirl

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 10:19 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

I dont understand why in these gift threads, people bring up Eliezer and Rivka. Remember who the FIL was - Avraham Avinu was the wealthiest man of the time! Thats no reason to expect these expencive gifts. I feel like had he knew that people would use the well story as a yard stick, he wouldnt have done it.

MaBelleVie

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 10:25 pm

watergirl wrote:

Yeah, I'm totally not that person who think expensive gifts are necessary. I was actually just responding to a specific post claiming that its silly to spend money on gifts, using the avos to say they were way above that. It's silly to spend money you don't have, but for those who have- what's the tragedy in buying your finance one nice watch? Seriously, that money would have been a drop in the bucket if I'd saved it for rent money. My dh is still wearing the watch and appreciates it after several years of marriage. Gifts are not worthless.

(And mefarshim discuss the symbolic spiritual meaning behind those gifts)

allthingsblue

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 10:30 pm

MrsDash wrote:

Something tells me that Avraham and Moshe did not walk around with a Movado or gold watch.

Not a good comparison...
If you wear a sheitel- I don't think Sara and Rivka wore sheitels.
Do you drive? They didn't do that either...
Do you live in a comfortable house? I think they lived in tents.

Times have changed...
Not saying to spend a zillion dollars, but I'm just saying that I don't think that is a good comparison.

zohar

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 11:20 pm

An old '70s joke from my mom. Teenage boy asks dad for a car. Dad says "not until you you cut your hair."
Teen: "Even the prophets had long hair."
Dad: "And everywhere they went, they WALKED"

Culturedpearls

Wed, Jan 22 2014, 5:28 am

My DS received a regular nice watch for $400. He didn't get to choose. We told him it was amazing, wonderful & that my DH wants one too! My DS is thrilled with his watch.
We were surprised he didn't get to choose but said nothing.
BTW we spent $5k on DIL's jewlery & she got to choose everything.