Gital Dodelson, agunah featured in N.Y. Post, obtains get R

doctorima

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 1:36 pm

You can write whatever you want, but it may not go over too well with the chosson and his parents, and more importantly, if it's halachically concerning or problematic, many Rabbonim will refuse to be mesader kiddushin.

Even assuming you can find somebody to do it, in the event that chas v'shalom this clause becomes necessary and you declare the original marriage null and void, good luck finding somebody to agree to marry her and be mesader kiddushin the second time around, with a very strong possibility that she may still be an eishes ish and her kids mamzerim.

It's a horrible situation, and I don't have any answers, but no answers are still better than halachically-questionable ones.

penguin

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 1:44 pm

Quote:

I think its disgusting that she had to buy her way out. And I do think this sets a precedent for people having to pay for their get.

True, but you can't blame her, or expect her to remain an agunah indefinitely because paying will set a precedent for others. She needs to get on with her own life.

QUEENY

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 1:48 pm

penguin wrote:

Quote:

I think its disgusting that she had to buy her way out. And I do think this sets a precedent for people having to pay for their get.

True, but you can't blame her, or expect her to remain an agunah indefinitely because paying will set a precedent for others. She needs to get on with her own life.

I don't think she is disgusted by Gitel, more like she is disgusted by the other side who forced this situation with no other way out.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 2:21 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Problem is, many rabbis don't recognize value to a halachic pre nup, or even won't do the chuppa. And no, not only talking of charedim...

And I know of the opposite, where rabbanim will not perform a wedding if the couple has not signed a halachic pre nup. Interesting.

Tablepoetry

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 2:25 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

And I know of the opposite, where rabbanim will not perform a wedding if the couple has not signed a halachic pre nup. Interesting.

I would strongly pressure - nay, coerce and bribe - my daughters to only get married with a rav who will do the halachic pre nup. (Hopefully, such drastic measures won't be necessary; I hope I am raising my dds right and they will assert their own rights.)

Frankly, the possibility of get extortion horrifies me. I am appalled at how the halachic system hasn't figured this one out yet.

Bsimcha

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 2:30 pm

Families ned to mortgage their homes and go into crazy debt for some guy to live it up???

Something is so wrong here, I really don't get it....

I'm assuming most people don't have that kind of money hanging around...

MommyZ

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 2:35 pm

Mazal Tov!

I think something we can't ignore, is her misgivings during the dating process that were glossed over. It doesn't matter what kind of yichus a guy has. His father could be Yoshke and his mother could be Mother Theresa, but if he himself is not a good guy none of that matters.

anonymrs

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 3:09 pm

QUEENY wrote:

I don't think she is disgusted by Gitel, more like she is disgusted by the other side who forced this situation with no other way out.

Since we're all just speculating, just keep in mind that maybe, just maybe, he also sold his rights to ever see his child again....

ora_43

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 4:02 pm

MommyZ wrote:

His father could be Yoshke and his mother could be Mother Theresa, but if he himself is not a good guy none of that matters.

Because that would be amazing yichus LOL

.

(but seriously, good point)

MommyZ

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 5:00 pm

ora_43 wrote:

Because that would be amazing yichus LOL

.

(but seriously, good point)

I knew that bright posters like you would understand what my point was.

In case there was any ambiguity, let me spell it out. Yichus doesn't replace derech eretz.

dancingqueen

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 5:21 pm

anonymrs wrote:

Since we're all just speculating, just keep in mind that maybe, just maybe, he also sold his rights to ever see his child again....

Did he?

UQT

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 7:20 pm

Raisin wrote:

how is it halachically ok to pay this money? Shouldn't he be supporting her according to halacha every day that they are married? If that support is not implemented nowadays then why haven't other things changed?

Hopefully no one will go near her ex (or his family) with a ten foot pole after all this publicity.

I'm willing to bet he'll be married within the year... Boys market and all...

anonymrs

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 9:50 pm

dancingqueen wrote:

Did he?

I have no idea but the only one getting publicity in this case is Gital's side of the story. None of us really know the truth. I just wanted to point out to everyone here who is so quick to speak that I've heard, and this is just hearsay, that she wanted him to give up all rights to ever see the child again. If that is the truth, then maybe he asked for an exorbitant amount of money in the hopes that she would give in to some extent. I'm just making a suggestion, I have absolutely not idea but we really do not know the whole story here. We are only hearing one side.

Happy18

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 9:55 pm

A while ago someone who is friendly with the boys side of all of this said that the perception in this case is really off and that the main reason that the boy was holding out on the get was because he got slammed in court and essentially lost all rights to his child and the get was his only bargaining tool. Regardless if this is true, we really don't know what happened, but this person got me thinking that no matter how many articles are written its all coming from one side. There are two sides to every story and none of us know what really went on. I feel terrible if this man/boy has any unmarried siblings, and that poor child is going to grow up being famous for a terrible situation. I wish there could have been more tasteful solution, but it is what it is and we should move on.

MaBelleVie

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 10:32 pm

anonymrs wrote:

Since we're all just speculating, just keep in mind that maybe, just maybe, he also sold his rights to ever see his child again....

How is that possible? The court has the power to enforce custody. It does not have the power to force a get.

I haven't heard a single explanation as to why he deserved six figures in exchange for a get.

Milky

Sun, Feb 09 2014, 11:48 pm

UQT wrote:

I'm willing to bet he'll be married within the year... Boys market and all...

I hope he finds a wonderful girl. I know his family personally and if I had a suitable family member, I'd encourage it.

I don't know all the details and I will not speculate, but I am 100% sure they are not in it for the money. There is definitely a lot more to this story.

I wish them both well.

MaBelleVie

Mon, Feb 10 2014, 12:03 am

Milky wrote:

Who demands 350k (and accepts an obscene amount) if he isn't in it for the money? What else can he be in it for exactly? Is the money going to tzedaka?

dancingqueen

Mon, Feb 10 2014, 12:30 am

anonymrs wrote:

Not really. The custody agreement was published and defined in court. There are always 2 sides to every story, but the hearsay you heard doesn't change the facts and I'm a little surprised you are so casual to malign her based on hearsay.

No he didn't speak out but his actions are speaking- he refused the get for years despite civil divorce, and then only granted it to the tune of 6 figures.