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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Sun, Feb 23 2014, 2:35 pm

So, my 7 year old was just diagnosed with ADHD. The thing is he is not the usual case. He is very friendly and sociable and has no problems in school at all. In fact his compulsiveness is mostly manifested in behavioral problems. I've been reading up on it, but a lot of the articles don't really apply to me. Anyone else have a child like this?

amother

Sun, Feb 23 2014, 5:55 pm

What do you mean behavioral problems? I am learning that many add/adhd kids do not fit the typical 'hanging from the chandelier' mold.

octopus

Sun, Feb 23 2014, 8:55 pm

do you mean impulsive behaviors (not compulsive) because those are two separate things.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 12:22 am

Right, I did mean impulsive. My son "hangs from the chandeliers" but has been getting great grades (he's the top in his class). He has a lot of difficulty controlling himself and listening to directions. His emotional responses are generally extreme.

We just started on Ritalin and already on the first day his Rebbe saw a huge difference in his behavior. He said it that way too "Not a difference, a HUGE difference." His meds right now are a low dose and only 4 hours so we don't see it (he hasn't been on them for a week yet).

The thing is, he does not have low self esteem, is very sociable, does well in school, etc so all the articles about parenting an add/adhd child don't really apply to me. The issues that I have read about are not the issues that I am facing.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 1:41 am

I have a 13 year old with adhd with all the regular symtoms and very unsocial.

my 7 year old is now being diagnosed but she is very different. the school is pushing it as she is having a very hard time in school. She is very social though and not nearly as impulsive.

she does have a very hard time with boundaries.

chanchy123

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 2:04 am

Why must ADHD have anything to do with anti social behavior. I have many close relative with ADHD, and they are probably the most social in my family. My 7 yo also has ADHD he is super social, his ADHD is manifest mostly in the way he learns. He has a hard time reading, for instance, because he can't keep track of the word or sentence he's been reading, he's distracted easily, and he can get into jumping from the chandelier mode.
I've never heard anti-social behavior being linked with ADHD. I do agree that my child has flourished socially since he went on ritalin because his self confidence and self worth were boosted.

Last edited by chanchy123 on Mon, Feb 24 2014, 2:08 am; edited 1 time in total

chanchy123

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 2:08 am

amother wrote:

That first part sounds pretty textbook to me. He may be exceptionally bright so his ADHD is not hindering his learning grades, he may do even better with ritalin. I have close family members who fit that description, as well. I also know many children of friends who also fit the bill.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 2:30 am

chanchy123 wrote:

Most of the articles talk about low self esteem, social issues, and feelings of failure due to poor performance in school. I need to know how to peel my kid off the ceiling.

chanchy123

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 3:01 am

amother wrote:

Most of the articles talk about low self esteem, social issues, and feelings of failure due to poor performance in school. I need to know how to peel my kid off the ceiling.

OK so, I never read the articles, I always thought kids on the ceiling was the classic ADHD presentation.

momaleh

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 3:12 am

My daughter is very similar - I could have written your post. Other than hanging from the ceiling though, she does run into social issues because in her impulsivity she often hurts other kids, and stam she's kind of quirky. So, you're not the only one! We might end up giving meds just to get her through school, or at least the lower grades. We're still in the figuring this all out phase.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 3:16 am

I was always under the impression that ADHD children did poorly in school. My brother had ADHD and was a horrible student. He also had low self esteem. So when I read about ll this in the articles I didn't question it.

5*Mom

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 5:37 am

amother wrote:

What kind of professional made the diagnosis? What was the basis for the diagnosis? Was he evaluated for other possibilities as well or was ADHD the only thing considered?

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 7:45 am

amother wrote:

I was always under the impression than did poorly in school. My brother had ADHD and was a horrible student. He also had low self esteem. So when I read about ll this in the articles I didn't question it.

Hi. I'm just another amother still working things out. I think adhd kids do poorly in school because they have a hard time sitting, focusing, and behaving long enough to learn therefore they don't do well. But if the child is exceptionally smart they can do well even if they aren't 'learning'.
In terms of social behaviors, my dd has a hard time because her impulsiveness makes it hard to play any games or focus on any one task and her personal space issues bother other kids. For example, my ds has a very hard time playing with her because she can't follow rules and has a hard time taking turns and can't play any one game for more then a few minutes.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 7:49 am

My son only got diagnosed at age 10.5
He's bri

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 8:10 am

5*Mom wrote:

What kind of professional made the diagnosis? What was the basis for the diagnosis? Was he evaluated for other possibilities as well or was ADHD the only thing considered?

OP here. He was evaluated by a neurologist and I believe other things where considered until the neurologist decided to send him for a moxo test after he thought it was adhd.

My son is beyond exceptionally bright and he is only 7. A friend pointed out to me that it is not really so unusual just that is was caught early enough so that the other issues haven't arisen yet (meaning that he can compensate now in 2nd grade but would have a harder time doing so when he was 10 or 13). She also mentioned that he is presenting more like a girl with adhd would than a boy (she is a social worker who does child therapy and has been advising me though out the process).

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 8:20 am

amother wrote:

My son only got diagnosed at age 10.5
He's bri

Sorry about that. Anyway, he's brilliant and it's harder to diagnose early. He's also not hyperactive. But ADD/ADHD often comes with something else...If it's LD then that's another reason kids can have trouble in school besides the typical disorganization, focus issues etc.

My son was always very spontaneous in his emotions but it got to such a horrible dysfunctional point....until we finally realized what was wrong.

Kids may start having social issues when they're a bit older than your son OP, as other kids naturally learn what's socially acceptable and what's not. They learn to filter. ADD kids often have a very hard time with filtering/holding back/not being impulsive.

Barkley (I forgot his first name but he's a leading ADD researcher) has a lecture for parents online. It's very comprehensive and informative. He says ADD is primarily an issue in executive functioning in the brain (hence the impulsively in life....emotionally as well, not following through etc) Emotional reactivity is a major issues in terms of keeping friendships etc. Make sure besides meds, you're coaching and giving lots of positive feedback for proper behavior.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 11:14 am

OP,
MY son sounds just like yours. He is 6 and was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. The Dr. we saw is not recommending medication at this point. He is excelling in school. He is the top of his class in every subject. He is far ahead of the class in reading. His only struggles in school is that he is unorganized and misplaces everything! lol. He is brilliant (says the DR.) and very social and popular. At home he is so difficult. Hanging from the chandelier, climbing up the walls, taunts his sisters just because he enjoys it, extreme emotional responses and impulsive.
Dr is recommending behavioral therapy.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 11:47 am

OP here - We have him in therapy also. Hopefully the combination of the therapy and the meds will help. He is so hard to control and it takes over our house. 90% of the discipline problems in our home center around this child. It's driving us crazy and it's not fair to the other children, and its not fair to him.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 12:56 pm

different amother here.
How do you manage the therapy- Is it out of pocket? Is it after school hours? Or does he/she miss school for it?

seeker

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 7:37 pm

I know others have said it already, but I want to add another voice saying that your case is not so unusual. The school and self-esteem issues very commonly seen with ADHD are most often secondary effects and can be averted altogether when the condition is treated at a young age. Learning disabilities (besides the secondary effects of not doing well in class due to not paying attention - I mean separate LD's) and social problems DO occur at a significantly higher rate among children with ADHD, but it is not a necessary part of the diagnosis and you can consider yourself very lucky if you have been spared.

I would advise you to keep an eye on his social development just to make sure it continues to keep pace, but it is not unusual to find a person who has ADHD and thrives socially - in fact, this is just anecdotal and I don't have research evidence, but my observation is that often the ones with ADHD who do well socially do VERY well - they're the life of the party! Others have many charms but lag behind socially because they are not attentive enough to social cues and their impulsivity causes them to make the kinds of mistakes that lose friends.

Same thing in school - keep an eye on it. Many kids with ADHD are very bright, but as the demands of school change, they tend to fall behind. Older grades require much more sitting still and attentive listening, while the material is not always going to interest them enough to hold their attention. The schedule and assignments will get harder to keep track of. Some kids are smart enough to make it anyway but I have seen that even when they're keeping it up enough to fly under the radar and not get in trouble, they know they're not thriving as much as they could be and this can result in frustration and emotional baggage. At 7 years old school is still fairly light and engaging. Enjoy it while it lasts, may your success continue, but keep an eye on things to make sure he doesn't fall through the cracks.

Last edited by seeker on Tue, Feb 25 2014, 12:35 am; edited 1 time in total

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