Please help me say krias shemah al hamitah! I don't know how

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amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 2:15 pm

I'm ashamed to admit that I don't say krias shema al hamitah. I really struggle with it so have avoided doing it for many years.

I would like to bl"n try to start saying it. Trouble is, I'm too ashamed to ask my Rav what the exact halachos are. I don't want him to know I haven't been saying it until now.

So ladies, please can you help me? What is the mitzvah? What is the stuff you have to say, and what is optional? What are the rules about not talking afterward and things like that?

THANKS!!!

itssimplyme

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 2:28 pm

Don't be ashamed to ever ask to know something, you don't know if you don't ask!

doctorima

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 2:39 pm

Good for you - for doing it, and for not being embarrassed to ask! If you look in a siddur, you'll see the full text of it, but if it looks too daunting, I think the bare minimum is the first paragraph of Shema and the bracha of HaMapil. Many also add HaMalach HaGoel, and as many of the other pesukim that you're up to saying. I was taught that after saying the bracha of HaMapil that you shouldn't talk, though there may be extenuating circumstances that permit it.

freidasima

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 2:47 pm

Wait! Go slowly!
The absolute minimum is saying the first line - Shma yisroel etc. and Boruch shem.
The next is saying the first paragraph until beisecho uvishorecho.
If you say that you are defnitely yotzei shma.
Then there is a shorter version of the big version and it includes:
hareini mochel
hamapil
shma - all three paragraphs
hamalach hagoel
biyodo afkid ruchi to the end of adon olam

And some add the following
hinei lo yonum vilo yishon shomer yisroel
lishuoscho kivisi ado-nai (all three versions turned around)
bishem ado-nai elo-hei yisroel about the malochim (michoel etc.)
rigzu al techtau imru bilvavchem al mishkavchem vidomu selo - three times.
And ending with Adon Olam. Full version.

That's a version that is very common around my world and I've heard both polish and yekke yidden say it.

There are those who will add viddui every night just in case. Especially if they are sick.

But once again, start slowly. And it's a lovely mitzvo.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 3:08 pm

not op but thank you freidasima. I always felt guilty like I wasnt saying enough and after seeing your post I realize I am yotzai.

pizza4

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 3:20 pm

I say the full thing- all that it says on a krias shema card. Except for the bracha Hamapil.

doctorima

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 4:24 pm

pizza4 wrote:

I say the full thing- all that it says on a krias shema card. Except for the bracha Hamapil.

Why not the bracha HaMapil? Isn't that one of the most important parts?

greenfire

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 4:27 pm

speaking of shema cards ... they have simple kiddie versions that might make saying shema easy ... if you have them on hand instead of feeling like you have to find the page in a siddur ... keep it in your nightstand with a flashlight

simhat_nisuyyin

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 4:35 pm

If you davened arvit you don't have to say all three paragraphs of the shema, just the first.

Good for you for taking this on! And definitely don't feel embarassed to ask anyone about it! Guidance on how to do a mitzvah is important, and the right teacher shouldn't for a second think of you negatively for seeking it out.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 9:56 pm

OP here. Thanks for the information. I'm going to bl"n try to say the first paragraph tonight and see how it goes. Thank you!

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 10:01 pm

OP, I could have written your post. embarrassed

I'm going to buy one of those shema cards to keep on my nightstand. Great idea!

Notsobusy

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 10:12 pm

I am Lakewood yeshivish, grew up yeshivish, went to yeshivish school. My family did not say Hamapil, neither does dh's family also yeshivish, so neither of us say it. I always learned it was something special to say, but not required.

amother

Mon, Feb 24 2014, 11:59 pm

THank you OP for bringing this up. I only do the bare minimum. I don't say hamapil b/c dh and I always talk when we're in bed. Does anyone know how to get around that? Is is better not to say it if you know you will be talking, or is it better to say it and talk?

amother

Tue, Feb 25 2014, 1:57 am

I just learned that it is really nice/ a good thing to try to say hamapil ( I never did)
and about talking, if it is something necessary, you can and if you are''with'' your husband afterwards then you can speak as well. but it said that not talking shouldnt be what's stopping you from saying it (like it has been for me all my life-now I try to say it every so often)

Debbie

Tue, Feb 25 2014, 8:28 am

I was advised by my husband (not a Rav) to say Hamapil without Shem and Malchus;so it would be 'Boruch Melech Ha Olam' instead of Boruch atar ......'

amother

Tue, Feb 25 2014, 12:34 pm

There is a great shiur on torahanytime.com about this very topic.

http://www.torahanytime.com/vi.....g-up/

I have also been lax in this area but since I heard the shiur I have been trying to be more careful. Hatzlacha!

Besiyata Dishmaya

Tue, Feb 25 2014, 12:56 pm

The minimum for Ashkenazim is: the first paragraph until (the first) uvishorecho and hamaloch.
If you want more: add the other 2-3 paragraphs of krias shma until emes.
Then: yevorechecho 3x, hineh 3x, lishu'oscho 3x, beshem, rigzu 3x and adon olam.
And if you're very in the mood, say it all starting from: hareini, shma until after adon olam.
We don't say: hamapil

greenfire

Tue, Feb 25 2014, 1:02 pm

nusach h'ari does not have adon olam ...

I start from השכיבנו

but I would like to point out that anyone with trouble should start small and at least recite what you can minimally every night so you don't go to bed without saying anything ... add on as you get the habit more ingrained

good luck !!!

amother

Tue, Feb 25 2014, 2:14 pm

OP here. I did not say it last night. Sad

I fell asleep on the couch after putting the kids to bed, and when I woke up it was the morning. I'm bl"n going to try again tonight.

Thanks for the link to the shiur, which I listened to part of so far. It's good to hear confirmation in the shiur that you just need to say the first paragraph of Shema. I can do that! I always thought I had to do a lot more and it was too overwhelming.

Thanks ladies!

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