fasting on one's wedding day - halacha or minhag?

amother

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 4:22 pm

I always thought it was a halacha to fast on your wedding day, but someone who is pretty darn halachic just told me that they are not going to be fasting on their wedding day.

So, is it just a minhag to fast? I did not fast anyway as I am a terrible faster, but I thought it was something that was supposed to be, no?

ImaMum

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 5:12 pm

I think it also depends if they get married in evening I.e. hebrew next day, then technically wedding day is not actual 'day' of wedding so therefore no need to fast.

Lady Godiva

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 6:42 pm

It's an Ashkenaz minhag that many families have.

Most Sepharadim that I know don't fast on their wedding day.

ectomorph

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 6:47 pm

I didn't fast, no special medical conditions, but it makes me very weak. It's just a minhag.

amother

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 7:11 pm

We are Ashkenazi and chassidish. My rebbe told me and my husband not to fast.

amother

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 7:11 pm

Are you getting married ?
I am not sure it applies to second marriage at all

chaos

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 7:52 pm

Definitely not halacha. It's a minhag, although I'm not even sure that it even has the weight of a minhag.

Practically speaking, fasting on your wedding day is also a terrible idea. I've never met a couple who fasted for whom it turned out to be a good idea, physically or spiritually. DH and I certainly didn't. We wanted to have energy for all that dancing and actually enjoy our wedding.

sweetpotato

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 8:03 pm

How could it be a halacha? It is definitely a minhag.

I didn't mind fasting on my wedding day, because I was so nervous I had no appetite (and I had to fit into a tight dress!) Even in the yichud room, I barely touched any of the food. The next morning I was starving and ate tons of wedding cake Smile

Frumdoc

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 8:15 pm

I think it is a very widely held minhag, certainly in ashkenazi circles. Many people, especially those who don't fast well, do not fast, or just drink.

I didn't fast as I am a disastrous faster and would have been in bed with a migraine before I even got to the chupah, but I ended up only drinking coffee and water, not eating a thing as I was too frantic and busy. Most of my friends did the same. I did check with our rav, who said it was fine, so I'm pretty sure it is minhag, not halacha.

Will try to remember to check it out later.

amother

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 8:38 pm

Our mesader kedushin said to fast till after mincha. That was after our first mesader kedushin who says not to fast at all ditched us a few days before the wedding.

zohar

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 10:16 pm

If the wedding is on rosh chodesh or in Nissan, one is not allowed to fast. Also most people who have a hard time fasting don't or break it after an early mincha. I don't have trouble fasting, so for me it was no big deal.

DREAMING

Sat, Mar 01 2014, 11:41 pm

I think it is a minhag. Dh's family doesn't fast (but he was to nervous and didn't eat anyway). I did fast

Ruchel

Sun, Mar 02 2014, 7:10 am

Minhag, esp for the woman.
I fasted until like 1 or 2. I shouldn't have even tried. BH I managed to feel ok, but... will tell my daughters (especially) and sons to carefully consider it and ask a shaila if they know they're bad fasters.

Ariella28

Sun, Mar 02 2014, 7:33 am

Yes I fasted, but bH I am a good faster. But I think it is a minhag and if u have any difficulties fasting, one doesnt fast

chevi1

Sun, Mar 02 2014, 9:54 am

I did not fast, because it was the day after tisha bav (did fast then...) prob wouldn't have in any case because I'm a terrible faster.........

Peanut2

Sun, Mar 02 2014, 10:17 am

I got married on rosh chodesh so we didn't have to fast.

My DH would have prob fasted otherwise, but my mom didn't want either one of us fasting that day.

worldpeace

Sun, Mar 02 2014, 10:22 am

"JUST" minhag?
Even if something is just minhag doesn't make it any less important than Halacha
In fact "minhag Yisroel Torah hee"
It's very important

Ask your rav
Imamother is not a rav
Why would someone ask that here @ all ?
Every woman here is from a differ wt community
What applies to another woman will not necessarily apply to you