is being called "my dear" insulting?

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 11:46 am

I called my landlady today to ask if she has a key to my bedroom door, because workmen are coming all this week. I want to be able to go out, but at the same time I want to lock my bedroom door while they are here (probably all day Sad

my landlady goes "my dear Rachel, I do not have a key, and I wouldn't worry about it"

greenfire

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 11:50 am

anything is insulting if you want it to be ...

as for the door locked with workers ... you don't leave the house with strangers inside

ectomorph

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 11:51 am

It depends, my dear.

Some people, if they are older, think it is a nice thing to say. Someone used to call me their "doll". It's an old-fashioned phrase meaning "You're nice and sweet"

Younger people are probably being sarcastic.

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 11:58 am

ectomorph wrote:

She's an old lady but I don't know how genuine she is. I wouldn't leave the flat with strangers here but I have to sometimes, I can't stay in all day every day. That's why I wanted a key for the bedroom.

black and white

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:02 pm

Really???
What does it matter!!
Have a great day and move on.

Last edited by black and white on Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

ectomorph

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:02 pm

amother wrote:

Install a cheap lock with a key that you hammer on. Takes 10 minutes and you can do it yourself. (although any male would be happy to do it for you.) I agree that you should be able to lock the door, at least to provide a deterrent.

Does it really matter how genuine she is? You still need to protect yourself.

DrMom

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:06 pm

black and white wrote:

Really???
What does it matter!!
Have a great day and move on.

Frankly my dear, I don't really give a d@mn.
(Yeah, I know that's not the actual quote.)

Last edited by DrMom on Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:07 pm

ectomorph wrote:

There is a keyhole on the door, but she says she doesn't have the key.
How would I obtain a key for it?
Is it possible for a key to be made for the lock in the door with the keyhole in it?
Thank you so much !

Barbara

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:19 pm

ectomorph wrote:

What she said.

If you look for reasons to be insulted, you'll find plenty. But honestly, people don't speak with that much precision, and don't analyze the deep implications of every word they utter. You'll be a lot happier if you don't, either.

Which doesn't mean that you should leave workmen alone in your apartment. I'm not sure what good locking the bedroom door is going to do, unless you move all of your valuables there. (And I can pick the usual bedroom lock; if you want a lock, you want something better than that.)

greenfire

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:23 pm

a keyhole ... you need an old-fashioned key - there are but a few types ... you can pick them up at most hardware places ... but yes they can be jimmied quite readily

ectomorph

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:50 pm

amother wrote:

I did some googling for you as it was harder to find than I expected (although you see it all the time in Home Depot, Walmart, etc)
http://www.diy.com/nav/fix/saf.....false

You need a hasp (the thing the lock attaches together) and a lock. You also need a key to unlock it. (a combination is better, but more expensive, and frankly if someone is going to break into your room once they're inside your house it makes little difference)

US: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Master.....TERFW

and

www.amazon.com/Shackle-Lock-Ha.....3PM8K

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 4:16 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Thanks a million Very Happy

hannah22

Thu, Apr 30 2015, 12:53 pm

Yes, that was rude and sarcastic in my opinion. And she sounds really unsympathetic and unfeeling.

As for the questions my dear can sometimes be patronising like the way this lady spoke to you, or it can be genuinely respectful and loving, as in "It is so lovely to see you, my dear"
It depends on the tone it is said and the person saying it