Its a secret | Imamother

amother

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 11:25 am

So my 8 year old daughter asked her friend, a neighbor what she is being on purim. Her response? My mother said I can't say. Its a surprise. I overhead them talking and thought it was really dumb. What is the point of it being a secret? I think its highly immature of the mother.

Barbara

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 11:29 am

amother wrote:

Shrug. Why would you care, and in particular, why would you care enough about what some 8 year old kid is wearing for Purim that you would post about on the internet? And not only post about it, but do so, anonymously, as if it were some big secret or something.

Imhappy!

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 11:30 am

momX4 wrote:

we do this as well. The most exciting part of purim for my kids is unvailing (sp?) of their costumes and theme. I was giving strict instructions not to spoil it for them.

ok. I'm so glad you posted this. now this is not personal but if you can help me understand it would promote much understanding btwn my family and said above family member.

* why do you think ppl care what your kids dress up as?
* who are you trying to suprize?
* dont you think its more exciting to share ? - my kids are delighted to try on their costumes for whoevers interested in seeing/hearing about it...

Barbara

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 11:45 am

momX4 wrote:

Imhappy! wrote:

we do this as well. The most exciting part of purim for my kids is unvailing (sp?) of their costumes and theme. I was giving strict instructions not to spoil it for them.

o
k. I'm so glad you posted this. now this is not personal but if you can help me understand it would promote much understanding btwn my family and said above family member.

* why do you think ppl care what your kids dress up as?
* who are you trying to suprize?
* dont you think its more exciting to share ? - my kids are delighted to try on their costumes for whoevers interested in seeing/hearing about it...

If no one cares what your kids dress up as, then why is it a problem to keep it "secret"? No one cares. No one should be asking.

In any case, lovely to hear that your kids are "delighted" to try on their costumes for whomever is interested -- although you already told us that no one is or would be interested, so I guess they never try their costumes on for anyone.

momx4's kids aren't so delighted. They want it to be a surprise. Why are her kids wrong, and your kids right?

Imhappy!

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 11:51 am

wew wew barbara hold it.

no one is right or wrong... I just find it interesting to keep it a secret. like why in the world...
I dont think adults are massivly interested in what my kids are dressing up but they are kind enough to give them attention.

I might not be expressing myself clearly - so perhaps im misunderstood.

I think that KIDS are so excited about their costumes ( my kids are) and sharing increased the excitment ( for them)

the adults dont really lose sleep over that their neighbors, neices ect will be dressed up but will gladly compliment and wow to make hte child feel happy.

so my question is if the children don't mind keeping this secret and what the point of the secret is.

momX4

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 12:05 pm

My kids arent so little anymore. They dress up together, its the only thing they love to do together. I encourage it because it promotes togetherness between my kids. I would tell anyone who asks what we are doing. I dont in order to respect my kids wishes.

Call it silly, but for my kids its important.

YOU GO MOM!! (im cheering myself on)

Imhappy!

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 12:10 pm

thanks willow and momx4
I just liked you!
thanks for responding. - I hear what you are saying and it makes sense to me...
I think that the family im thinking about is different cuz the mommy wants the secret and doesnt let the kids leak... so im thinking "grow up lady"
but we all do what makes are kids happy. they should enjoy the yuntif...
so yes! GO MOM!

amother

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 12:15 pm

amother wrote:

Actually, OP, I think that it is your post that comes off as immature. Your labeling of how someone else wants to deal with her daughter's Purim costume as "dumb", sounds petty and mean-spirited. It's perfectly reasonable for you and your daughter to be open about what she will be wearing; but the other mother's way of handling it, is just as valid.

amother

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 12:50 pm

Op, I understand you. I ask my sister ine night on the phone as part of the conversation what her kids are being. Its a surprise. This morning by the bus stop one mother said shes not letting her kids share what they are being because it's a surprise. I think its very corny. Like who cares if your kids are monkeys or ducks. I don't lose sleep over it but don't love your kids more because I had to wait until purim to find out what your kids are dressed up as the whole 2 seconds I see them. And no. Its not the same as the gender of a baby.

imasinger

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 12:58 pm

It sounds like...

a) either the mother makes a big deal over keeping the costumes a secret as a way to get her kids more excited about Purim (kids really do like secrets), or

b) the kid misunderstood somethng the mom said and is blowing the secret thing out of proportion.

Here's a novel idea.

Why don't you ASK the mom about it, so that you can build understanding and maybe share a laugh, rather than judging her harshly based on tbe words of a couple of 8 year olds?

greenfire

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 1:04 pm

let's not forget all the time & effort that goes into making the shalach manos match the costumes & the poetry ... someone else might copy your idea should you give away the secret ...

I could imagine those kind of mothers being paranoid & saying 'shh - it's a secret'

Imhappy!

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 1:05 pm

imasinger,
my issue with the "secret" is when its the adults that are creating the secret and the kids are asked to keep the secret.
not like momx4 that its the otherway around...

whtvr. each to their merry little own....

I just laugh cuz if the secret is b/c of me... I couldnt care less... I have to remember on purim to wow... thats all...

Imhappy!

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 1:06 pm

greenfire wrote:

that.

is what it is

I think

Barbara

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 1:22 pm

greenfire wrote:

More likely, Mom doesn't have a clue what the kids are going to wear on Purim. Its a secret she'll let them in on once she figures it out herself.