Joining the Chevra Kaddisha

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ruby slippers

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 11:44 am

I have been thinking about joining the chevra Kaddisha and have watched a number of vidoes about this mitzvah of chesed shel emes. Now that my children are old enough to be on their own in the evenings I am more flexible. Just watching the vidoes moved me to tears. The beauty of the mitzvah, the care that was taken and the loss of someone's loved one. Can anyone share their experience as to the first time they went to a tahara. I really would like to be able to do this and the community needs volunteers. I feel if I can prpepare myself enough I maybe able to keep it together.

amother

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 12:05 pm

The first time I found was overwhelmingly... humbling... might be the right word.
Taking part in this amazing mitzvah was awe inspiring.
I wanted to do things just right to honor the deceased.
I did not find the experience frightening but I did find it somewhat strange.
Our chevra kadisha members were b"h very professional, compassionate and calm.

amother

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 12:07 pm

Same amother as above - I meant to add that if you are considering it, I urge you to join. You will be glad you did.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 12:20 pm

I didn't (couldn't, and except OOT here they don't accept younger women) but my MIL did/does.
She told me you do need a calm mind and a certain outlook. Also when you start you start on easy things.

ruby slippers

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 1:04 pm

Thanks for the words of encouragement- I am afraid that I am just going to start crying thinking of the loss, but then remind myself the neshama is going back to a beautiful place and start crying all over again!

babula

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 2:04 pm

Attend one tahara and see how you see how you react. Everyone is different and every Tahara is different.

ruby slippers

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 2:40 pm

good point- thanks!

Mrs Bissli

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 2:43 pm

Op, you mentioned about having free time in the evenings, but just for the record, most of the actual work of tahara takes place during the day so that the remains can be prepared for burial during the day.

Most chevra kadisha takes a gradual approach to new joiners. They should recommend you some reading on practical issues. Instead of attending a "training session", you're most likely to be invited to actual tahara and observe (from a distance if you don't feel comfortable). Newer members are given minor tasks at first, including accompanying the niftar. My local chevra also has reservists who are on call if they're short-staffed (eg over yomtov or summer holiday season). It's also good that both men's and women's chevrei have volunteers who are doctors. My DH is more active, but he tells me he gains deeper perspective of life in general and makes him more humble. Kol hakavod for considering to volunteer.

greenfire

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 2:47 pm

sounds like it could be a cherished mitzva - if you're up to keeping your emotions at check ...

what's the criteria ?

zaq

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 2:48 pm

Mrs. Bissli, not ncessarily. The CK of which I am a member does almost all of its work at night. Many of the members are employed full-time.

November

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 3:04 pm

I live in a place with not many religious people and many, many elderly. I joined the chevra kadisha because there are not enough women doing this mitzvah. My first call was for a morning of 3 consecutive taharahs. It was grueling. But there is something so incredible about being the last person to care for this person and its neshama in this way and any this time. If you are ready, which it sounds like you are, you will be fortunate to learn the mitzvah from a learned and caring team.

tropicalrainforest

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 3:36 pm

Ease into it gradually . I started by just saying Tehilim next to the nifteres ( deceased) and being available if the "main" people needed extra help . As time went on I kept being asked to help with more and more tasks during the tahara. Eventually I was able to be a full active member of the chèvre kadisha.

I have not done taharas in many years as I am busy with a growing family ( our rav said it is not recommended to do taharas at this stage of life ) but I do miss the zechus of this very special mitzvah .

ruby slippers

Mon, Mar 10 2014, 3:54 pm

Thank you so much for all of the support!

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